Would you settle for average?

Question

Until very recently, I never was competititive. I settled for pass marks and an okay job - just anything I could get without too much effort.

Then when I started university a few years ago, I was dumped into the competition - the kind where if you don't work hard, you will get stomped on. And I found myself working hard and loving the results if they were good, hating myself if my results were bad.

This streak to always be the best or one of the best has stayed with me - now to the point when I saw someone else land my dream job or dream degree, I go into a spiral of self loathing. I always feel no matter what I do, its never ever enough!

Is it okay to settle for average? Is my feelings towards always winning usual? Or am I now at the point of unreasonable jealousy and rage?

Answer 1

No, I think its ok. It just inspires you to work harder right?

Answer 2

To me, it's only okay to settle for continually striving to reach our own personal potential, no matter the number of people who achieve at a higher or lower level.

We are all on the same spectrum.  We just occupy different areas within that spectrum.

Answer 3

What you're doing is defining yourself based upon what you accomplish.  Do you find yourself thinking that you'll be satisfied, happy, "good enough," if only you...... [fill in the blank]?  "If I just get that job I'll be satisfied" or "If I could only find a husband/wife I'd be happy."  "You" as a person are not the sum of your accomplishments.  And not being the "best" (whatever that means) does not mean that you're a loser.  You don't have to be better than everyone else all the time in order to be "the best."