Yelling at my toddler...?

Question

I have noticed in the past month or so that I have been yelling at our 3 yr old son way too much. He does things so abrubtly that il's the first thing that comes out. I felt so terrible last night that I cried myself to sleep over it. My husband says I need to remember he's just a little guy and that yelling really doesn't work. I've noticed my son becomes almost "immune" to my yelling that he doesn't even react very much. I still feel guilty about it and am making a conscious effort to eliminated it. Any suggestions on how to deal w/ disciplining your toddler? How do you keep your cool?

Answer 1

He is 3..He's testing his limits and your patience. Instead of yelling at him- get down to his level and talk to him..Ask him questions on why he's doing what he's doing. He may not understand- but at least getting down to his level will get his attention better than standing over him and yelling. I work in childcare (with toddlers) and 9 times out of ten-this helps. Good luck!

Answer 2

try to teach him whats right and whats not. if he does something wrong, dont yell at him, just be like, thats not right, dont do that again. well, i kno that saying dont do that and walking away is not the right way to discipline your child. but just calmly state to him that he did something wrong.

hope it helps =D

Answer 3

Breathe. Seriously. When he does something and you feel that anger rise to the surface, stop yourself, take deep breaths until you feel like you can respond without yelling. Leave the room if you have to, until you calm down.  Then address the issue. Get down on his level, explain what he did wrong, and enforce the consequences.  I give my daughter one warning for bad behavior and explain that if she does it again she goes in time out, then I follow through with that consequence if she repeats the behavior.  Likewise the consequence might be that she loses a toy or a privelege, so one warning, and then I follow through.  

Stopping and breathing will also be setting a good example for your son. If he sees you get angry and then stop and breathe until you calm down, he will learn how to deal with his own anger in a healthy way as well.  I wouldn't be surprised if you end see him doing the same thing in a month!

Hang in there! We all lose our cool sometimes. You recognize it and want to change it, and that is the first step.

Answer 4

listen...we all lose our rag at times...espacially if we're tired or stressed...maybe you need a day to yourself...get dad to watch him and go do something even a walk or some shopping....you'll feel better if you tell your son that your sorry for shouting!!!! when you feel your going to blow your top go into another room and do not confront your child till you feel calm enough to deal with the situation. shouting doesn't help a situation...get to his level, look in his eyes and tell him that you are very unhappy/disappointed with his behaviour...sound stern but do not shout...ask him to apologise...when he does apologise say thank you and ask him to please do not do that again...try to finnish positive...eg a hug to show forgiveness...

Answer 5

what you know is not what he/she knows.but will learn everything about.deal with it in silence.maybe one word to get attention.then a chair and just point.put he or she in it if no response.make sure they stay there before you walk away.don't turn it into a game.and say nothing.dont explain it you'll only do that for yourself.

Answer 6

You absolutely need to try not to yell/ It is true what you said that if you yell a lot, kids tune it out and are less likely to listen. Save the yelling for trying to stop him from hurting himself. For example say his name and say no. Try to remember what it was like when you were his age. If you relate to him on his level your more likely to discipline correctly. Think about discipline before you act. Maybe even count to 10 in your head before you say anything when his safety or the safety of others isn't in danger. Using a stern tone of voice is okay in some circumstances because you do have to let him know that certain behavior is unacceptable. He is your baby and he deserves the best you can give him.

Answer 7

I think taking things away or making he take a nap for few minutes. how else do you discipline him? Do you tap him on the hand, But only when he is doing something really bad? Don't cry over it!!! You have a long way to go and crying never get you anywhere. Just find ways that the displine will work.

Answer 8

It can be hard...and I know exactly how you feel.  I found myself not coping all that well with my first, because he was so active.  Nothing in the house was safe and he was everywhere!

It took me a while but I got it into my head that these were just things.  Things.  The knocked over lamp, the spilled juice, the tv remote out the window (hole in screen).  Things.  

They didn't matter as much to me as knowing that if he were asked in 30 years what he remembered most about his childhood, he would say something like "the sound of my mom, yelling all the time."  

So, when things started going wrong or he was making me crazy, I either handed him off to his grand for a few hours - which they both enjoyed anyway - or I would have someone come over so I was distracted, and so was he.   If that wasn't possible, I would hold my breath for about 10 seconds.  It was a way to defuse the instinct to freak out, and after doing that I was able to deal with him more reasonably.

You just need to find your own way of 'self calming'.  You'll be fine!

Answer 9

i would just remember he is still new to the world and exploring the world. he is having fun which can lead to some bad things that he can get to. i would keep my cool by asking him what he was doing and to have fun and explain the differents between fun and being bad. i hope i helped =]

Answer 10

Try not to yell at him so much. I know its frustrating but what the best thing to do and I know this works. Get down to his level and whisper to him in his ear about what hes not doing is right. Continue to whisper in a calm voice speaking softer then you usually do to him. This will make him stop what hes doing and try to concentrate really hard on what your saying.Once you got his attention start talking to him in your normal calm voice. Hope I could help!

Answer 11

Yelling at your child is a reflection of poor Parenting! Of course the child has become immune to your yelling, because even at the age of 3 he knowes he can get away with whatever he wants! What you really need to do is; Dust His Huggy! I don't mean hurt the child, but yelling obviousley isn't working, so a couple of firm swats on his rear-end will get his attention. ASK your child to please not do something or please do something, and don't ask more than twice. If the child doesn't act as you  ASK, then get his attention. I raised 3 children, and they learned to be obedient I have 8 Grand- children and they are obedient. So if you can't bring yourself to spank your child then perhaps you should consider placeing him in a Day Child Care. But keep in mind, a couple of swats on the butt isn't child abuse, it's responsible Parenting.

Answer 12

dont feel so bad children are hard work, even a saint could lose their temper.maybe you need a little time on your own away from them.