Question:

You like poems (2)?

by  |  earlier

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I wrote a new poem, here it goes (plz remember that I am an amateur so don't be too harsh or make fun).

"Mother Nature"

From the beauty of a sunset,

to the radiance of the oceans,

every thing around us,

praises our mother nature.

Listening to the birds at dawn,

brings tears to my eyes.

as the moon lightens the dark at night ,

my heart tingles from its warmth.

The wind caresses my senses

and I feel happy inside.

While the four seasons bring to us

A brand new feeling every time.

How lucky are we

to have such a caring mother.

That shares with every single one of us

everything she has to offer.

How thankful are we

to our deer mother nature.

May our mother nature,

be here for us for ever.

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7 ANSWERS


  1. This is really pretty good, very lighthearted, unlike my style.... you did a really great job at bringing mother nature to life.... keep it up :)  


  2. to be real.. it sounds like you're writing something that would make your mom happy or your teacher and not really what you feel

    it's also an awesome poem.. don't get me wrong.  i really like your writing and think you're a great writer.  but i don't know.. i just say that

  3. For an amateur, that was good. Sounds really peaceful and nice.

  4. I guess some missed your meaning. I think it is nice. Keep up the good work.

    Don't change or add things others tell you to add. Otherwise, it will be something everyone put together and not your own touch.

    Good luck with your poetry

  5. I Love my mommy too.

  6. Yes I know what you mean I cry my eyes out every morning I get up and hear the birds sing,  I keep a box of tissues by my bed for just this reason.  Oh you forgot about all the earthquakes and stuff too.  Though  I am very thankful for my deer mother.  Wait it's getting cold out tonight can't wait till the moon comes out and warms me up.

  7. It was alright man! Totally lose the "and I feel happy inside." line it sounds three year oldish... Keep writing! this time try to write something that not everyone can experience.. write something only you have done find your inspiration and make, no force, people to look through it in your eyes.

    "A word cannot potray emotion, But a bunch of them can sure as h**l try." and yes you can quote me on that ;) haha
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