` what do you think of this ?

Question

We smoked cigarettes in our secret places,

drunk wine in the vineyard outside of your home,

from disposable cups of florescent colors,

thinking ourselves too old for our skins.

We watched black and white movies on Sundays,

considering ourselves akin to some timeless romance,

but we were roadrunner and whylie coyote,

always running in fear of falling to hard.

We found common ground in clumsiness,

slipping up on words we meant like 'I love you',

grinning to wide for our situation,

thinking too highly of ourselves and our smiles.

We spent summer's inside of brick houses,

afraid of the sun and what it might reveal,

thick, dusty beams of light showed glimpes of you,

a nose pinnocio would have been envious of.

[ more coming ]

Answer 1

I. LOVE. IT.!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Great descriptions and imagery.  I can actually see the relationship progressing.  Excellent story in the guise of a poem.

Answer 3

Other than correcting some spelling errors . . . this is an absolutely wonderful piece of poetry!

A poignant piece that I think lots of people will place their own interpretation on.  

I, personally, read this to be about a lifetime of memories, then the pain of seeing all that disappear from the eyes of someone you love who can't remember any of it anymore.

Marvelous work in the story description and carry through, the smoothness of the read and conclusion are flawless.  Superb in my book.

Answer 4

amazingly heartwrenchingly beautiful. Reminds me of death cab for cutie. ( are you by any chance a fan of them? they're my  fave band btw)

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