Regressive behavior?

Question

Until recently, my 61/2 year-old daughter used to brave the night and sleep alone in her room, often putting herself to bed and without the need for night lights. A couple of weeks ago, she started to ask for some light when going to bed. She also started to ask every day if her dad and I would be going out and would be very upset if the answer was yes. At aroud the same time, she also started to put a finger, sometimes a couple of them in her mouth. We've had talks about nightmares and fear of the dark. She says she can't explain why she's afraid but she is afraid that something will happen to me. As for the oral habit, I can't get anything out of her on that other than her 71/2 year-old brother has unfortunately had that habit since he was a toddler so she says she's just copying him. Should I worry? Is this serious? How should I approach a more constructive conversation with her?

Answer 1

Sometimes children can enter into a fearful stage, especially fear of the dark,  which they will grow out of. I would get her a nightlight, and give her the support she needs to ensure that she is not feeling fearful.

For example, tell her that you are going out with enough warning so that she can get used to it. Remind her that the babysitter will take good care of her, and perhaps organise a special treat activity (such as a fun craft) for her to do with the baby sitter, so that having a babysitter can become something fun and not fearful.

Answer 2

For the light problem it could just be her imagination developing and having something off a gruesome cartoon sticking in her mind...and older brothers are not adverse to frightening young sisters. Let it ride for a time as to make it a big deal could be detrimental. Her fears about you going out might be a little more worthy of investigation.

Answer 3

With her putting her fingers in her mouth,for children that's a sense of security,before you decide to go out ask her what she likes and doesn't like about her babysitter.I do this with my 5 yr old son soon to be 6 with school.If something is bothering him he will tell me.It works alot better than asking him what is wrong,because at the time I ask him he may not be thinking about school and say that nothing is wrong, but if I ask him about a certain subject it will jog his memory then he will answer .

Answer 4

How well did you interview your babysitter and did you get references. It sounds as though she doesn't like to be left in another persons custody, for what reason, I can only imagine.

If you don't first find out about your baby's caregivers, your baby will.