Regretting my tubal!!!?

Question

i had my tubes tied in 06 1 year after the birth of my 3rd child. i did it more for responsibility reasons then anything i guess. we have a really hard time caring for our 3 and i knew i would fall preggo again sometime in the future if i did not get them tied. i know we have the perfect family now, and honestly i dont think i could mentally handle any more babies, but i have this nagging feeling that regrets my decision even though i know it was for the best of our family and kids we have already. did anyone else get their tubes tied and regret it? is it normal or should i have waited? maybe all women no matter how old or how many kids always think about having another baby even though they know their done? i dunno, just talking about my feelings i guess and would like to hear your stories of the same situation, thanks a million!

Answer 1

people like having choices.  it's human nature.  you likely feel that your decision took away your choice whether to have a child or not.

however, you made the choice, you had your reasons and they were good ones, and you shouldn't bother with regret it's useless.

i'm not in your situation so can't be much of a help, but i do wish you the best.  perhaps you're just feeling sad cause your kids are getting older?  i don't know.

Answer 2

Dont worry there is an operation to undo that now. I had a tubal and 14 years later had it undone and now have another daughter

Answer 3

Yep me too i regret for doing it also. I have 3 kids of my own. And i been with my fiance for over a year now. We had discuss of having a child together since its a first for him, but unlucky me my insurance medicaid and medicare wont  cover the surgery at all. It costs like 5,000 in order to un do it. And i dont have the type of money to do it. So my fiance said to me lets try to save some money down the line we will then again decide to do this.. I am hoping for it to come true..But again yes i do regret very much i did this. I had it done in 2005 after my son was born.. I still think about it and the more i think about it the more depress i get..

Answer 4

I never had it done.  I talked to the doctor after my second and he told me to wait.  I was glad that I did.  I was young and didn't realize what I really wanted out of life.  People pushed careers instead of family.  The older I got, the more I realized that being a mother IS a career.  I went on to have 2 more children, although it was VERY hard to get them.  I am now 42 and still feel the same way about wanting more children.  I'm old and since I don't conceive very easily I'm sure it will never happen.  My husband works out of town and is only home every 3 months for 2 weeks, so that gives me even less of a chance.  You do know that it can be reversed?  From what I hear there is a pretty good success rate to the reversal.

Answer 5

You have plenty of kids and should not regret your decision.

If you feel like you need more involvement, why not voluteer with the boys/girls club, boys/girl scouts, or other organizations?   You could also look into foster care to help care for kids who are up for adoption and need a loving home in the meantime.

Answer 6

you gave plenty of good reasons in your text why you should have had it done.  be glad that you did.

Answer 7

don't regret your decision.  3 is plenty.

Answer 8

I was 21 and had mine done back in 01 a few months after my 3rd baby was born. I thought it was right, my husband said he didn't want any more. I was 21 and thought I would be with him forever and it would be okay. right away after I hated myself for it. I would cry constantly for it. I don't feel whole anymore, it's like I am missing something of myself. I tried to get my husband to have a vesectomy and he was too scared so I got stuck getting a tubal. Years later, I still hate myself more than anything. I am now divorced and with a new man and I can't give him a baby. It hurts so bad! My ex husband however, has 2 new children with his new girlfriend. That hurt too! I couldn't believe "MR. Didn't want to have anymore" did that. I still feel so lost.

I was looking into a reversal but it cost so much money and I didn't know it but they burnt my tubes. There really wasn't a chance for reversal. I had a tubal pregnancy in 05. I cried and told that doctor I have been waiting 4 years to hear the words 'you are pregnant' but not under the terms of what I had to do. I had to have surgery and they removed my left tube. I was still hoping for a possible reversal but there went my chances.

Now I'm 27 and am looking into  adoption or IVF.

I wish woman and girls would think about getting a tubal before agreeing. It's not something they should unless they really know for sure. I was young and everyone told me to get one and I thought they knew right. Even my mother told me to do it.

I Love my kids more than life itself and know I have so much more love to give another baby. It just doesn't seem fair that I lost my chance due to a dumb man, a forceful mother and me being a 21 year old girl who didn't know any better.

We think it was best but now we live with knowing that it wasn't. It's not easy and I would go back in a second to change it.

What you are thinking is normal! You are not alone!

Good Luck and God Bless