Rehearsal Dinner - Please Help?

Question

I'm getting married next month and we're doing a small rehearsal the day before the wedding. My question is....if everybody just went out to dinner at a restaurant afterwards, would my fiance and I have to foot the bill or could we just assume that everyone pays for themselves? The reason I'm asking is because we can't afford to pay for everyone, but we wanted to do something different instead of having it at home.

Any help would be appreciated. :-)

Answer 1

If you are having the dinner, you are hosting, so you pay for everyone's food and drinks.

If you can't afford that, then just have them to your home for a bit of a party after the rehearsal, just to unwind - and just serve snacks and drinks.

Answer 2

No, you don't have to have one. But, usually after the rehearsal people like to keep talking, etc.  We just had pizza (from really good place) and I bought stuff for salad, chips and pop.  We had this at the church as they had a big cafeteria type room for such things.  But, I could see having it at home too.  I know you don't like that idea, but maybe it just fits best.  If you're having your rehearsal around dinner time, people will want to eat.  Do you have people with small children?  That might be something to consider as well.  It's a little tricky taking the little ones out to eat sometimes.  

Answer 3

The rehearsal dinner is hosted by the bride and groom. It is their way of saying Thank You to the wedding party and everyone for doing so much for their wedding.

So if you cant afford it, you shouldnt have one at all. But I think it would be very nice to have something at your home. You could just limit it to the bridal party and parents, and cook for them at your house. Its the gesture that matters.

If everyone just goes out together after the rehearsal, that may be fine in your circle, but make sure people understand that you arent paying.  If they organize this get-together thats fine, but I dont think you should invite people or spread the word, since youre not paying. And in that case, dont call it a rehearsal dinner.

Answer 4

Where I come from the parents of the groom pay for the rehearsal dinner, including drinks. If that isn't your case. your attendants should expect you to pay, or you can have a pot luck at home.

Answer 5

Yes I think everyone would expect you to pay unless you state otherwise. I know my in-laws paid for ours but only the dinner, not drinks which helped a little.

~MLF~

Answer 6

If you don't invite people to dinner no one should assume you are paying.

Maybe you can say..we'd like to grab something to eat after the rehearsal, if anyone wants to join us we that would be great!

Dont say you are inviting or even call it a rehearsal dinner.(This might make ppl assume you or someone else is footing the bill.)

Also you may want to let your bridesmaids know that you aren't paying and ask that they pass the word along if anyone asks.

It's great when someone else pays but im sure your guests would be fine paying as long as they are in good company and the food is good!

And its def. ok not to have a rehearsal dinner. Although i think this is a nice alternative.

Answer 7

Hi.  Yes, it is traditional here in the U.S. to have a rehearsal dinner.  Yes, unfortunately, if you go out to a restaurant after the rehearsal, YOU will need to foot the bill.

There is a trend where I live to do something very simple....go out for pizza and soda is one idea.  Go to a park and have a picnic is another.  You said you didn't want to have it at your home...but, of course, that would be my third suggestion.

Try to think of something that will not break the bank.  I had my son's rehearsal dinner in our backyard!  I bought meat/cheese trays, had some rolls and some side salads, beverages and dessert.  It was really easy and everyone loved the laid back style.

You really should do something if you are having a rehearsal.  The reason being is that it is a time to thank your bridal party and to give them the gifts that you have bought for them.  I don't know how big your bridal party is....or what time you have your rehearsal planned for.  The only way "out of it" would be to have a late rehearsal (after the dinner time)....like 7:30, and then have people over for dessert and coffee.  

Answer 8

You should have the dinner at a hall that's not costly and make the food yourself. If you ask everyone to come to a reheasrsal dinner, they are expecting you to pay for the group.

Answer 9

If you "plan" a rehearsal dinner, then yes, you pay for everyone.  But, you don't have to have a dinner, although it is customary as a way to thank your bridal party for being in your wedding and spending all the time and money on you.  It doesn't have to be anything fantastical, just go out for pizza and soda.

Answer 10

Well if it were me I would pay for everyone, just because i'm sure they've all helped you in some way, although if I were a guest I would be prepared to pay for my meal myself it would just be a nice bonus to have someone else pay. I'm sure some of these people are paying alot of money for dresses, tuxes, hair and nails etc.  

Answer 11

you pay for the bill. nobody would be expecting to pay for their own.

you have to have a rehearsal dinner - everyone is taking time out of their day to practice for your wedding, the least you could do is buy them dinner afterwards