Rehearsal Dinner???

Question

OK..I know that the grooms parents are suppost to throw the rehersal dinner, but his parents arent going to, so if we want one its up to us. My parents are already throwing us a shower and paying half the wedding, and are retired so $ is tight for them)

Basically I want to know what a rehersal dinner consists of and what goes on. I really dont know but looks like I'll be throwing one and need to know what do do.

Answer 1

We paid for pretty much everything ourselves on a very tight budget.

The rehearsal dinner/lunch is important, because people need to know where they are going and what they will be doing during the Ceremony.  They'll feel better with the practice.

And afterwards, they want to eat!  ;o)

So we all met at my friends house (where the bridesmaids would be coming the day of the Wedding... so they would know how to get there!).  Then we drove in groups to the site, rehearsed, then came back for a BBQ.

Bought the liquor and mixers at the VA ABC place, and the food mostly from COSTCO... some stuff from the grocery store.  We also invited out of town people and family from both sides that were in town to the BBQ.  In total - we had about 35 people there.

Burgers, dogs, buns, condiments, baked beans, potato salad, salad greens, dressing, brownies, sodas, booze, all came in at a good price.  I couldn't tell you precisely, but definately under $250 to feed $35 well, and have LOTS of left overs.  

I bought too much meat!  But it freezes, so no worries.

We talked and had fun, then sent everyone home relatively early so we could rest before the big day.

Have fun!

Answer 2

Basically you have the rehearsal with your officiant and bridal party the night before the wedding. After the rehearsal there is a rehearsal dinner - it's a way to thank the bridal party - it is also a time to give them and your parents any gifts that you have for them.

A lot of people will have the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant - but if you are paying for it yourself and want to cut down on costs there are other things you can do. Are you getting married in a church? Does the church have a hall you can use? If so, you can pick up some catering, or cook yourself, and bring it to the hall for after the rehearsal. Or you could hold the dinner at your house. Doesn't have to be anything fancy - you could BBQ (depending on the time of year) or make pasta, salads, garlic bread, etc. or have someone bring catered food to your house. It doesn't have to be a huge expense. For me one of the hardest parts of my planning was trying to find a place to hold the rehearsal dinner. I didn't want his parents to have to spend a ton of money, and a lot of restaurants wanted food/beverage minimums or room rentals. After all my searching I finally found a reasonable place - but if I hadn't my second option was to have it at the church hall.

Answer 3

It is my understanding that a rehearsal dinner is just a dinner that happens after you practice for the wedding day. It can be anything from a sit down dinner at a restaurant to a BBQ in someone's backyard.

I think it is whatever you want it to be.

BTW CONGRATS!

Answer 4

Couples are getting much more sensible.  Rehearsal dinners turned into insanely expensive affairs with tons of guests.  Couples are getting back to a more sensible light meal with the wedding party and parents or the couples.

The next day is going to be busy enough without exhausting yourself the night before.

Answer 5

Usually the rehearsal dinner consists of members of the wedding party & maybe the officiant (if you know him/her personally).  It doesn't have to be anything spectacular if money is tight, just make reservations at a nice sit down place & everyone goes there after the rehersal to eat & chat, etc...  No big deal really, some people make it an issue but the real thing is you two getting married (the rest is incidental).  Good luck & congrats.

Answer 6

do something simple, a bbq at someone home for immeadiate family, the bridal party and out of town guests.  Dinner, drinks and if you want a rehersal going over the ceremony details before hand

Answer 7

That is a lot to take on the night before the wedding!  The easiest would be to take everyone to a sit down dinner.  Call local restaurants to get a deal on a fixed menu (with reduced price, of course!).

I was very lucky for my rehersal dinner.  My cousin (who's a professional chef) & aunt prepared dinner at my IL's.  The cousin & aunt weren't involved in the wedding, so they weren't at the rehersal.  After the rehersal, we all just went back to my IL's & ate, buffet style around the pool in the backyard.

Do you have any other family members or close friends not involved in the wedding that might be willing to open their home?  Or would someone be the coordinator at your home?  You could order affordable catering from an Italian or Mexican restaurant, but you'll need someone to pick up & set up the food (& preferably help with the clean up so you can get some sleep!).

Answer 8

I live in the south and in our area it is customary to have the rehearsal dinner immediately following the wedding rehearsal.  Many young couples arrange to have their rehearsal dinners in the fellowship hall where they plan to marry.  My niece is getting married in September and she plans to have her rehearsal dinner at a local diner.  You could even order pizza, purchase a few sandwich trays and set them up for your wedding party, or have it catered ... the sky's the limit with your choices.  

The wedding party usually consists of the preacher and spouse, the organist and/or pianist, their spouses, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, parents and family of the couple and the bride and groom.

I got married many moons ago and our rehearsal dinner was in the fellowship hall at the church.  My mother in law prepared brisket, pasta salad, baked beans, hot rolls, iced tea and chocolate cream pie for dessert.

Answer 9

the rehearsal dinner is to REHEARSE the day of the wedding - duties....jobbs...time for arrival...departure...etc. It's also a dinner to give a thank you gift to all of those participating in the wedding...

dinner can be as informal or formal as you'd like...it's usually a couple of days before the day of

Answer 10

(Wow, now a third Lydia! Hi!)

It isn't a must that you have a formal rehearsal dinner. It's just as nice to have a get together after the rehearsal - for drinks and snackies, or even having something informal like pizza.

Answer 11

Hi.  Where I live, rehearsal dinners have gone from being held at a nice restaurant (a number of years ago), to a more casual dinner now, which is a good thing!

We hosted my son's rehearsal dinner in our backyard!  It was low-key, which is what you want the night before a wedding!  I ordered party trays, meat/cheese trays, rolls and I made up a bunch of cold salads the day before!  Easy and everyone loved it!

I have also heard of people going to a pizza place for pizza and beer/soda.  

It's really whatever you want.  But don't feel that you need to make it super fancy.  Most bridal parties, parents, and family are more than willing to have a low-key affair the night before a wedding.

So....who is invited?

~ Everyone who is IN the wedding....

bridesmaids, groomsmen AND their spouses, significant others;

~ flower girl and ring bearer AND their parents

~ parents of the bride and groom

~ any readers, vocalists, instrumentalists IF they are planning on coming to the rehearsal.

Optional:

~ grandparents

~ minister

~ out of town family

Hope this helps!