Rehearsal dinner - any way to avoid it?

Question

Getting married in a double wedding with my sister on Sept. 1. We are having the whole event on a dinner boat and originally thought there would be no rehearsal (just us in the living room) because the boat is usually in use. Now we've found out that we can have a rehearsal on the boat... but does this mean we also have to host a rehearsal dinner? We don't have a large wedding party - only 2 best men for the 2 grooms ( my sis and I are each other's MOH). But if all our siblings etc are expected to also attend the rehearsal dinner, it could get very expensive and the wedding is already so expensive. Of course the groom's parents traditionally pay for the rehearsal dinner, but we can't exactly ask them to or expect it, especially on such short notice. I don't mean to be cheap but we've already spent so much and I don't want to go into debt... we're not greedy, we're having a "no gifts" wedding. I don't feel like I have the energy to plan the rehearsal dinner 2 weeks before the wedding when I haven't even had time to get the license yet! Advice on what to do about the rehearsal /dinner?

Answer 1

You could just have a small get together/meeting at your house, not on the boat.  It can get expensive.  We ended up having our rehearsal at our church, but our dinner at my in-laws.  We had family (parents, siblings, grandparents), bring a favorite dish and we just all hung out in the back yard near the pool.  It was very inexpensive and our parents took care of most of the planning.  We only had our wedding party, immediate family, & grandparents.  Ask your parents or in-laws to help, but it doesn't need to be big and fancy by any means.  You don't have to have one, but it is nice for everyone on both sides to get together and meet each other before the day of the hustle and bustle of the wedding day!  

Answer 2

Hi.  Here are my thoughts.

Let's say you had your rehearsal with your two best men at your home as you had thought....then what?  Were these two guys just going to go home?  Or, were you going to get something to eat.

Whatever you were going to do at your home....you could still do on the boat.

I would have the rehearsal on the boat....just the 6 of you.  You do not have to include all the siblings, etc.  And, you do NOT have to have a "rehearsal dinner."  Why don't the 6 of you go out for a quick pizza after....or something else real low-key.  It would be a nice time to give the guys their gifts, etc. and just chill out.

So...NO, you don't need to get into a big dinner.  But, what about your parents and the groom's parents?  Will you invite them also?  Is the boat "free" for the rehearsal....or do you need to pay a rental fee?  If you need to pay to have the rehearsal on the boat, then I would do it at your home instead.

Hope this helps!  Good luck!

Answer 3

Okay, breath deeply. You are panicking unnecessarily.

First, the rehearsal is so everyone who is doing something in the ceremony knows where to stand and what to say and when to do their part. So those are the only people that need to be there for the rehearsal. Sounds like it's the six of you and your officiant.

Second, human nature is to get excited about weddings (especially during the rehearsal) and to want to giggle and chat and socialize about it afterward. So what do you think will happen if you don't plan a "Rehearsal Dinner"? When the rehearsal is over, the six of you will stand around chatting, and then someone will say "have you guys eaten? No? Let's go back to my place and order pizza" or "yes? Ok, let's go to A&W for an icecream sundae" ... and that will *be* your rehearsal dinner. It does NOT have to be something fancy. It's for you and your friends to unwind at, after the rehearsal. You can plan it ahead, or you can be impromptu.  

Answer 4

Appetizers and soft drinks would be very nice for a rehearsal boat trip. Ask all of those friends to make and bring them for you - you know the ones who say, "tell me if you need anything........I'd love to help." You can pay for the food but appetizers aren't going to hurt your budget. Of course, ideally - you would prioritize and plan to throw the rehearsal dinner and pay for it yourself and then the groom's parents actually pay the bill for you by offering to do so. It doesn't have to be on the boat and it doesn't have to be a full meal. Since you are having a no gifts wedding - people shouldn't be expecting you to go all out with a full rehearsal dinner anyway. Part of what makes a wedding affordable is the gifts. You don't have a wedding to get them - but it was like my hubby and I spent our budget on the wedding and had a shoestring left for our honeymoon - well - the gifts made it possible for us to go on our honeymoon!

Answer 5

I say go over the way that you want your wedding to go, write it down just the way that you and your sister plan it.  give a copy to everyone that is involved in your wedding and the role (or there part) and what they are to do.  I say wing it,your original plan was to not have a rehearsal so I wouldn't.  You really don't have time to fine a caterer and that is if you can locate someone for that evening The night before your wedding. You sis, grooms to be and immediate family get together for pizza and a salad.  Good luck!

Answer 6

You don't have to have a dinner. A rehearsal is usually around 7 p.m., so after just have drinks and munchies.

Answer 7

after the rehersal gather back at your house for a bar b que and just sit back and relax and enjoy the night before your wedding

Answer 8

No, you do not need a rehearsal dinner.  Don't obligate yourself to one.  Tell them to eat before they come.