Relationship Advice....is he cheating?

Question

Man there are a million of these questions on here....well I guess now a million and one.

My man and I have been together for years (married with kids) and he cheated on me last year with a woman he worked with. It wasnt a sexual relationship, ( I found out about it before their first actual date). I found an email of him telling her he didnt know if he wanted to take it to that level. That is how I found out about it.

They stayed in contact for a little while because of work and I told him no contact and either he or she needed to find a new job because I hated that they were working in the same office still. She had been looking for a new job for a long time, so it was grrrrreat when one actually wanted the tramp. (He wasnt the first married man she has gone after)

She left, and we finally worked things out.

Eleven months later.......

I see that he bought two pairs of expensive earrings last month around August 9th. (the reciept was in his glove box, and I needed the cell charger) I do not normally drive his car (like pretty much never).

Needless to say....its not my birthday, its not our anneversairy, its not Christmas....he has never been an early shopper....and since I am not sporting any new jewels I wonder who they are or were for.

What should I think.

Am I being paranoid because of what happend last year?

Answer 1

doesn't sound paranoid to me at all, you should have told him, you are sorry you spoiled his surprise but when you were getting the charger you  found the earrings he bought for you.......

Answer 2

I would go to him, and tell him that you were NOT SNOOPING (this one's big with my husband, because I've been cheated on and tend to snoop), and that you found the receipt.  Then, I'd very calmly ask him about it.

Most of all, I'd try to stay as calm as possible, and make sure to remind him that you weren't snooping and that you weren't prying.

Answer 3

Maybe, he's trying to surprise you. Just getting you a gift "Just Because".

Answer 4

You have every right to be paranoid and I would out right ask him.

"Beware of what you ask for, you may get it".  Just be prepared for the worst.

Answer 5

See below I messed up

Answer 6

Im sure you have heard the saying once a cheater always a cheater. I would say that if he did it once, he will do it again. He seems to be cheating, if you ask me, question is why doesn't he hide everything better? Delete the emails or hide the receipt? Not giving him any pointers, I'm just a little confused on why he would leave stuff basically wide open for you. I doubt you are being paranoid. I would talk to him, and if I was you I would sit there and make a decision. Its only going to hurt the kids in the end. I know people who grew up with parents who fought all the time, or cheated and they have trust issues. I grew up with a stepdad and a stepmom and I turned out fine. I had 4 parents I could trust not just 2. I know divorce is a difficult subject but if hes going to keep hurting you, it may be your only option.. Goodluck!

Answer 7

No.  Your not being paranoid.  He is up to something.

Answer 8

the likelihood of him cheating again..is very high..if you really want answers....ask him immediately to save yourself some heartache and late night wonderings.  

Answer 9

first, you have every right to be paranoid about what happened last year. Trust has to be earned, it can't be blindly given, especially after something like that.

Alternatively, you could always just be honest with him about what you found, HOW you found it and ask him to explain. If he's innocent, he won't mind explaining himself. If something's going on, he'll get mad and start complaining that you're snooping and that you don't trust him. Guilty men almost always try to turn it around on the woman who catches him.

If you want a bit more reading check out this excellent blog....

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseac...

Good luck, and I hope it works out for you!

Answer 10

Oooh, does sound substantial enough to say something.. or watch more closely without saying anything. I really hope he's not, I know how terribly it sucks.

Answer 11

Sorry, but I think you are probably right on the money.Doesn't sound good to me...

Answer 12

No, you are not being paranoid. If it were for you, he would have given it to you by now (men don't buy gifts months and months in advance). And you said yourself, there are no occasions going on right now. If it were for a family member or friend or something harmless, he would have told you. This is a definite red flag.

Answer 13

You are not paranoid. Tell him you accidentally found the earrings and ask him who were they for... since you said you can't wear jewelry. Just confront him instead of wondering. His reaction will most probably make it clear

Answer 14

You said that you guys worked it out which means that you forgave him. Forgetting is the hard part and will never happen. It will always be on the back of your mind that he is being unfaithful, and the hard part is that he may always be.

Perhaps he did get them for you for Christmas, but two pairs? That seems strange. He may have gotten you a pair to ease his concious and will give the other to her. If you get just one pair I would be pissed because then I think you know what is true.

Somehow us women always look like the bad guy when we find studd and confront our man. It always gets turned in to a snooping issue when it was their dumb azz that let it out in the first place.

If I were you I would get a hold of his cell phone records and see if they are still talking. Install a keystroke program like pandoras box and see if he has some secret email account with her.

Once you gather the info, and you find that he is cheating, take his *** to the cleaners.

If you cant find anything over the next few weeks, I would ask him about what you accidentally found. And by the way, go photocopy or take a picture of that reciept. It may hang him in the end if he is cheating. It shows a more elaborate affair, not just a fling, if he is buying her things.

I wish you love and luck and I hope you get two pairs of earrings.

Answer 15

hate to say but.... he is cheating.  found my ex had made a necklace but i didn't get it but his girlfriend did.  trust your gut feeling

sorry

Answer 16

Take it from a player...Your man is a cheater who is careless.. He should of never of had the evidence on him. He should of had a secret box at the bank..Tip for the day for the ladies from a pro...lol

Answer 17

Sounds to me like he took it to the next level with that woman that he used to work with. Just cause they don't work together doesn't mean that they don't still see each other. The risk of getting caught with cheating is why so many people do it. It adds that bit of excitement back into thier life. If you want to work it out with him, comfront him, and then try to spice up your relationship and see where it takes you. If you don't want to do that at least take him to the cleaners when you go for the big D. He deserves it if he's not willing to change and work on the marriage.

Answer 18

There's a radio show that fakes call a victim...They tell them that they won a prize and the prize is to send flowers to their special someone...Half the times the husband/BF/Scum Bag sends it to some girl (instead of the wife)...its pretty shocking to see the scum out there...Maybe you can use the idea...Good luck to you...you seem nice. Take Care

Answer 19

At this point it could be anything, so don't jump to conclusions.

Could it be for his mother, sister, or some other platonic relationship? Maybe he picked it up for a friend as a surprise for his wife? You don't know yet. If you really think he is a cheater and you just have to know, I would simply mention that you ran across it and were curious who it was for. If there is nothing to hide, he will tell you, like the others have mentioned, if he freaks out, then he is hiding something.