Relationship between mental health workers and Clients?

Question

Hi,

My key worker told me that in a "relationship" such as ours there should be no emotional involvement. That she isn't supposed to be emotionally involved in my case and that I shouldn't be emotionally involved or attached to her, that she's just there to offload to really. Ihave been seeing her for under a year. My question is how can they turn around and say they 'care' without being emotionally involved? And when you ask that you usually will get a stupid answer like "i care on a professional level"...in my books you either care or you don't.

I understand there have to be boundaries but to say to a client who is meant to trust you and talk about personal things that you aren't emotionally involved in the case...seems quiet hard, cold and hurtfull. I mean hey i don't expect this person to be my best friend - nothing of the sort but how am i supposed to believe that they care at all? Or do I not believe that either?

I feel like these stupid rules are set up by someone who hasn't got a clue. How do you work with humans on their emotions and problems and try to help them through it without any emotion? It doesn't make sense.

So basically to all professionals each client is an object or a number? another hour until payday?

I have asked this question in the mental health section also as i would like as many opinions as possible.

Thanks

x

Answer 1

I am so sorry that you were treated that way...So tell me, when was it that she made this statement...at the very start of your going to see her, or just recently? If a health care professional truly believes that and they are telling their clients that, it should have been done at the very beginning of therapy...laying the ground rules so to speak....If she has just told this to you recently, she may percieve that you are becoming a little bit attached to her and so therefor made that statement, either that or she feels like is getting too personally involved. Personally, between you and me, I think a statement like that is terrible, rude, and makes them out to feel like they are full of themselves....I am an RN, and I have gotten personal with every patient, every client, every person that I have ever cared for in the past 15 years as a nurse....I honestly care about people, how they feel, what they are thinking, and most importantly what can I do as a health care professional to help them to become well. If I personally can not help them, I also refer them to someone that may help them if I can not do it alone.  Her attitude is atrocious in my humble opinion, and it is a very sad day indeed when health care professionals stop caring and become hands off just to spare themselves a bit of emotion or pain...I truly think that you can not be a good health care provider if you are not compassionate and understanding and caring. That is why we do what we do.....the day that I become cool, reserved, emotionless, uncaring, and no longer compassionate for others that I care for, will be the day that I have passed this earthly plane and my spirit and soul have gone on....Sweetie, please know that not all health care providers feel that way at all. I am so sorry yours is...You know, maybe some day you will want to seek another that can still be objective, but that truly cares about their patients.....Good luck and blessings in all that you do sweetie.....(((((((HUGS))))))...Linda B..RN

Answer 2

All care staff are bound by the code of ethics which forbids personal relationships of any kind.These rules are meant to protect the vulnerable service users and the practitioner alike. try not to forget that the practitioner must have lots of clients and if they let themselves get too attached it could prove very emotionally draining and result in mental breakdown.

Answer 3

I am a mental health worker and I do not care for my clients - I support them. My job requires me to empathise and promote people's individuality and ability to live independently. I develop relationships with all my clients which allow me to do this. As a person, over the years I have been doing the job, I have felt my emotions as a person being pushed to the background. I have had to deal with people I Liked killing themselves or dying early. I have had to deal with verbal and emotional abuse from clients which has left me unable to sleep. There are lots of very emotional situations which could push anyone into an emotional abyss.

At the start these things hurt me, but over time I learned to separate my feelings from my job. I dont know how i do it, but my wife tells me that I am much more remote thesedays.

You expect your key worker to "Care " about you. Of course they do and I care about my clients. This is different to caring for them. I care for my wife and children; my mother and my brother. Do you expect me to care for you in the same way?

No. Our relationship is different. it is based on rules and procedures. It has an objective - to keep you well. it is not there for my benefit but for yours. I have to visit you whether I like you as a person or not, and no-one likes everyone, but still deliver the same quality of SUPPORT to you. I respect every client and want to do my best for them. I cannot allow my emotions to cloud my judgement. I will always do my best for you, even if it makes you angry. I will not try to feel good myself by telling you what you want to hear, but by telling you the truth. You may be surrounded by friends, but I am not one of them. I am there to protct you from them when the need arises.

Words ar so clumsy, but I hope you understan. Your key worker is much more use to you that a friend.

Answer 4

I understand what you mean. Maybe this will help.

You go to school for many years because you want to help people. Let's say your a medical doctor or a therapist. Now you are educated to help people get over a trauma or you cure them of something that may have killed them. With your education you were able to do this. The time you spent with these people you did your best and you of course cared about them. Now let's say that you were unable to help someone and they died. Can you still continue to help people if you know you did your best but was unable to treat them and cure them if you were on a personal level? No, because you would think that you failed and your next patient would die because of your mistakes.

So to be in a professional  relationship you still care and don't let it interfere with what you are there to do. Just by becoming this doctor you have already made a commitment to care about your patients. By becoming to involved it could harm them more then help them.

I hoped this helped and you still trust your doctors. I know I trust mine.

Take care and never give up!

Answer 5

Hi,

I have been in the mental health care system for about 11 years. I've had 1 psychologist, 4 psychiatrists, 3 mental health workers and not once did any of these people tell me that I shouldn't be emotionally involved (on a professional level of course). The careworker sets the boundaries, you follow accordingly. And when you are meeting with a health care professional, you are pouring out all your cares and heartaches about how you are feeling, how it's affecting your life, your relationships (or lack of them) there is naturally going to be an emotional connection. I was told from the very beginning that each meeting is strictly confidential and no information would be given to anyone outside the room. So far, I haven't heard anything being "leaked out". My experience with health care workers has been successful.

In your case, the first thing I would do is change workers or ask to have an advocate do it for you. Tell the advocate that you want a worker who is empathetic and personable. If they do their job right, they will find you someone like that. I recommend that you not continue to see your current worker. If there is any kind of trust issue, you won't get the full benefit of the care you need. My best to you!  

Answer 6

I worked for mind once and have a almost have a degree in psychology and when younger I had a mental illness and went in a psychiatric hospital so imagine how I felt and I noticed their was alot  of them and us going on. I dont believe in them and us stuff cos we all go through difficulties in our life its just some people try to deny or hide it alot of people do that I think its based on fear.

She does not sound that intelligent and confidant to me I write this cos she seems at ease and maybe cos your clever and believe in equality she might find you a threat.

Get some good counselling Of couse we get all get emotionally involved theirs alot of people who just deny things, yoru not a number and her opinion of you does not matter God,s opinion of you is what matter and you are loved and special to him.  In this life people will let us down so we cannot put too much value in what they think of us but in what God thinks of you cos you are very Beautiful to him and he love you dearly and you are his child and chosen before you were born.