Relationship falling apart two weeks before the wedding, what to do?

Question

- he just says i have an attitude to blame something on me

- he's stressed out taking it out on me

- hanging up the phone on me

- broken promises about helping with money things

- saying the things im stressed out about is stupid/ "nothing compared to what {he's} stressing about"

i can honestly say im falling in hate and resentment. due to the stress and pressures.

Answer 1

Just relax and understand youre both stressed. I will be getting married this 23rd and we have been so mean to eachother! I need help with programs and favors and his excuse is "I dont find it fasinating" WTH- its work that needs to be done. I dont do it because I'm having a blast even after tieing my 100th ribbon. He actually flipped out on his sister yesterday over a redbox movie rental (threw the movies out the window of the car because she returned them late).

Its so close, so much needs to be done. Once the wedding over, its done! No more stressing about this.

Just let him know how you feel. I had to sit him down 12am and say Look, we have to talk. Try and ignore me, but the longer you hold it off, the more tired you'll be. After a while he finally broke down crying about all his problems. It really put it into perspective for me and him.

Answer 2

I am not married, but I would encourage you to think if this stress and discord is sudden and due to the stress of the wedding, or if things are always like this, maybe even on a smaller scale. If you can pinpoint it to just recently and wedding induced, I would talk to him, and remind him that the wedding is just one day, you get to be together your whole lives, and try to work together on getting through the next two weeks.  Keep in mind it will pass.  If you things have always been like this, smaller scale or same, then maybe it's best to cut your losses and call of the wedding.  It will be hard, but better in the long run rather than to marry to have the wedding and/or not disappoint other people.  This is YOUR life we are talking about!  

Good luck!

Answer 3

I suggest the two of your go out to a nice dinner together. Relax, eat and enjoy one anothers company. Find the reasons you fell in love with him. Don't talk about Money, Weddings ect, just enjoy being together.

A few days after the meal (of even the next day) sit down with him and OPENLY without yelling, cussing ect talk about all these things your just listed. Have him talk about what is stressing him out, listen, done react.

Talk through them.

Communication is KEY.

I found this really great "RULES OF FIGHTING" online a few years ago. We use it as a contract, we have both signed it and I framed it and hung it in our bedroom. This has helped us to stay on point a bit more when we are stressed.

We, as a loving couple in a long-term relationship, agree...

1.  Not to mention, use, threaten, or fall back on the idea of divorce or separation after starting the discussion.

-Once the discussion is opened, it is understood that this is a permanent relationship and that divorce is not considered, except in the event of entirely new, utterly divorce-worthy information.

-To make decisions about the next step realizing that there is love worth protecting and not just personal pride.

2.  To be honest with ourselves first and then with each other.

-To internally consider and then tell the whole truth of one’s feelings.

-Not to mask feelings and hide thoughts for the sake of pride, to be utterly honest.

-Not to use hateful expressions or hurtful language and insults.

-Especially not to lie to ourselves and each other by exaggerating or hiding the truth, or choosing “the best” parts to tell.

3.  To try, at all costs of self and pride, to believe and understand that the other person is telling the truth according to #2.

-To believe that their words are honest, unexaggerated, and said in love.

-To attempt to view the situation from the position of what the other is saying.

-To only disagree by using honest responses.

-To realize that we could both be wrong.

4.     To walk away and take a break if anger takes over and destroys the discussion.

-Not to shout or curse (f#@$, b*@&#, "you're crazy", a$$ h*l*, jerk, stupid etc—any offensive expressions or names) and to apologize when this does happen.

-To realize our anger and stop before saying things we don’t mean.

-To always return to the discussion when the anger is manageable again.

-Not to rush to the end because of impatience.

5.      To end this discussion by both agreeing together that they are done and what the next step is.

               -Realize that this might take time to do, but is necessary.

               -Remember that true love requires self-sacrifice.

Answer 4

I agree with what Megs said.  You need to take some time and just have a date and enjoy being a couple without talking at all about money or the wedding.  Go out to dinner and a movie, or take a day trip someplace cool where you can relax and literally get out of your wedding stress.  Maybe book a couples massage.  If you have the time and money, maybe go out of town for the night and stay at a nice little B&B.  Do something that will relax you both and let you reconnect.

Answer 5

Hi there,

What you are experiencing sounds very similar to what a lot of people go through in the lead up to one of the biggest changes in their life.

You're stressed, he's stressed, and if you don't have an outlet you will take it out on the other person.

If you can't resolve this through discussion maybe what your gentleman needs is a destress activity with his male friends. Go out and do something that will alleviate his anxiety.

In two weeks time you will have your wedding and all the stress leading up to it will seem like a distant memory.

Good luck :)