Relationship issues?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 and a half years and I have had some small issues back and forth and because of this we had decided to take a break.

He did not want to take it, but I did. He is originally from another state and moved closer to me. All of his friends are back home and

I know that I am all he has here. I love him so much, but i find it hard to forgive him when I caught him in a lie a couple months ago.

You see, He dances Salsa a lot. He taught me so that I can be his partner. He always made a fuss that I didn't want him to dance with

other girls, as I would not dance with other men. I understand that the reason is to learn other people's styling techniques, but its

hard for me to see him dancing with another woman. Anyways,during this break, I find out that he went dancing in nyc by himself, by a

close aquaintance of mine. When I proceeded to ask him where he was that night, (hoping he would fess up), He told me that he went to

dinner with a friend and afterwards, for some drinks. I kept reasking the same question, giving him another chance to tell the truth,

and nothing. = (

I was so upset, I told him that I knew he went dancing, and he said casually, "yes, I did." I told him that I did not appreciate him

lying to me about it, and he began to explain that he did go out for dinner and drinks with his friend from work and proceeded to go

dancing later that night alone. But felt that he left out that part...because he knew that I would get jealous and think he did something

wrong. He also said, that we were on a break, and that I technically shouldn't be offended. He also told me that he only went out because

he was so tired of being alone in his apartment and was bored. I know its not unusual to go salsa dancing by yourself because it is a skill,

and you do meet people from all over of all ages, this is known as a social. But the fact that he left that part out, really hurt. Since then,

he begged for forgiveness and even proposed with an incredible setting and a gorgeous ring. I have been to therapy, church, everything, for help.

I want to be with him, and I know that there is no one else because he is always with me and fighting for me. But I keep pushing him away, because

I am scared. Am I jumping to conclusions? Since we weren't together, should I understand? Can this be forgiven?

PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

This sounds like something that can be forgiven. I went through something similar. My relationship with my boyfriend could not go forward until I forgave him for lying to me about something. And we were together at the time! You guys were not even together. I say if you want a future with him, you need to forgive him and move forward. Even if you don't want to be with him, you should forgive, but not forget, and just move on without him. Why? Because the next person you end up with will suffer. You will have this wall up and you will have a hard time trusting someone. But it sounds like you really love him, and you are scared of being hurt again. If he really is truly sorry for lying, then I think you should forgive him.

Answer 2

You and he are taking a break.  Leave it alone.  If you were together that would be a different matter.

I wouldnt marry him at this time either.

Answer 3

Long distance relationships never work.  Try out a new one closer to you.

Answer 4

Plain and simple. You guys were not together. He really doesn't need to tell you anything. If you guys were together at the time, then I would be more upset. He had the right to do whatever he wanted and not have to tell you anything. I know it sucks and it still hurts, but that's the reality of it.