Relationship question about immature friends?

Question

This is what's going on. My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20's. His friends are very immature (for their age) and they are roommates as well. I feel like this relationship is not going to progress because of this. Even though my bf is mature, I know that his friends have a lot of influence. Settling down is not even on their minds (they don't have gf's) but is a lot more than that. I don't want to be with someone that just wants to have fun even though we love each other. On the other hand, we've only been together for 10 months. HELP! Thanks...

Answer 1

He will probably not be serious with you for quite a while.  He has to deal with his buddies and as you say they are immature.  You might want to give it a little more time, start being more serious, and if he doesn't come around then think about ending the relationship.  

Answer 2

I can't understand younger adults at all....I mean seriously.  

I am 33 years old, own a house, have two sons, and invest for my retirement.  I've acted like an adult since I was 20 years old.

WTF is wrong with society these days?  Late 20's and still acting like they think they are in High School?  Whatever!

Answer 3

The first thought that came to mind are does he have any other friends that are mature.  If yes, than these are the people to spend time with and then you can talk about the difference between the different set of friends and why you prefer the company of the mature friends--this will lead to why you prefer their company and your future together.  If he has no mature friends, see if you have some that you all both can hang with (then have the same discussion).  Imo, if you are both in your late 20's (based on my experience), you both know where this relationship is heading and where you both want it to head.  I would directly talk about this right after the 1 year mark.  Good luck!

Answer 4

What is there to help with?  He has friends.  They're still goofing around.  So what?

If you can't trust your boyfriend to make good decisions, you shouldn't be in the relationship with him.  Are you going to ask him to never talk to his friends again?

You need to get over your own insecurities.  I got married at 24 and none of my friends were even dating at the time.  Once you start demanding he get better friends or you start badmouthing his roommates, you doom your relationship.  

Answer 5

Yeah -- I got married at 21, and am very settled and act as an adult -- I'm 23 now.  Sure, my husband and I will go out and get a drink or two sometimes, but we don't get all drunk and act crazy.  We don't go "party," don't take any drugs, or do any of the stupid "college" things that lots of people are doing today even into their 30's -- it's ridiculous!

If he's not who you want him to be, leave him.  Changing him is not an option -- if he changes, he needs to do it for himself not for you, otherwise he will resent you for the rest of his life for "forcing" him to be someone he's not.

Sit him down and have a serious talk.  Explain to him that you want this relationship to take a turn toward being more serious, and that someday you want marriage (if that's the case.)  Tell him you're not expecting that today, but sometime in the relatively near future would be nice.  Explain that you'd like to advance things, and you don't want to wait around for a partyboy forever.  Ask him what he thinks.  If he says he wants to live it up and party, then you're better off moving on anyway.  But, you never know.. maybe he'll share the same feelings you do and even suggest moving in together or something.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i think that you and your husband need to have a chat.  my answer would be very different if you and your boyfriend were 19 and you'd been dating 10 months.  however, late 20s is a new ball game.  at that stage in life, you probably have a decent job and are thinking of having children.  that being said, if someone is not on the same page as you are (ie.  heading towards marriage, a house, and a kid or two), it really doesn't make sense to continue the relationship.  you and your boyfriend need to have a chat.  he might not even know that you feel this way.  don't put the full court press on him like some women would "i want a ring in 6 months, or i'm outta here, buddy!!!".  there is no way to make a guy bail faster than that.  just let him know that it is important that you are on the same path.  actions speak louder than words, and his actions need to tell you of his intent.  don't worry so much about the friends.  they are part of his life, and as long as they don't dictate your boyfriend's behavior, it's ok.  besides, they might be pretty cool.  you might need to give them more of a chance.  

Answer 7

Time will tell if it is going to work or not.  Be patient and see where it goes