Relative adoption?

Question

My sister in law is pregnant, but she is only 16 years old and knows that she more than likely can not raise the baby. Me and my husband have offered to adopt the baby so that it can stay in the family, which would be better for everyone involved here, but I'm completely clueless on the whole process. I live in Michigan and both of the parents are here too. I heard it was simple and relatively cheap, but I don't know what that would involve. Approximately how much would we have to pay (we are having our own child a month and a half earlier, so we won't exactly be banking lol), and what is the procedure (how long, court appearances, social worker coming to our house, etc.?) I'm sorry for all of the questions, but any insight would be greatly appreciated. I just want to be able to get into this knowing what I'm doing. Thanks to anyone willing to help out!

Answer 1

How does your sister-in-law feel about giving her baby away?  Has anyone asked her what SHE wants?  What stands in her way of raising her child?  If she has family support, she should be able to be a successful mother and finish school.  It is not easy, but millions of families do it.

If your family does decide that adoption is the only way, please do not lie to the child about the family relationships.  I have known families who have had adoptions within the family and when the mother is older, the child usually goes back to the mother.  Prepare yourself for that possibility.

Also, you will need to terminate the rights of the father.  That is where you may find out that the adoption will not be "cheap and easy".

You really do need a lawyer.  Your sister-in-law will also need her own counselor for emotional support and her own lawyer to protect her rights.

Answer 2

idk

Answer 3

You could contact your local social services department (ssd) for guidance... or an adoption agency...  but the ssd may be ALOT cheaper.

Please don't call your biological children your "own" and your adopted children your "SIL's" or "adopted child."  Once adopted- they'll be your "own" as well.  :-))  

I wish your family much blessings, Kristy

Answer 4

If your wish is to assist your family then I think a legal guardianship agreement would be more appropriate in this case.  Just my opinion though.

Answer 5

I actually have a family member who adopted my sister's child, and we live in Michigan.  As far as I know they said it wasn't too terribly expensive, and didn't take very long.  If you would like I can check with them on the attorney and process they went through and get the information to you?  Feel free to contact me via email....

Answer 6

How does your sisiter-in-law feel about this?

Did she appraoch you?

How about the father?

You cannot discount him....he does have rights.

The U.S. Supreme Court has affirmed the constitutional protection of a putative father's parental rights when he has established a substantial relationship with his child. The Court defined a substantial relationship as the existence of a biological link between the child and putative father, and it defined the father's commitment to the responsibilities of parenthood as participating in the child's upbringing.

Is she being pressured by her parents?

We have done a family adoption but the mother was much older.

If you contact me I will share our experience but the law varies from state to state and both parents must agree.

I agree with the poster below me....you must be truthful and honest with the child. The child should know they are adopted.

And you should explain adoption in an age appropraite manner. And answer the question truthfully when asked.

It often discussed in our house....many older family members were a bit shocked at first but we explained that it was really none of their business to tell us how to discuss adoption in our home. They can either be positive and supportive to our daughters feelings or keep their mouth shut if they have nothing nice to say. I made this VERY clear in the beginning and everyone that matters has come around and understands that we are not fostering a an enviroment of decit.

Answer 7

now you think. you are having one of your own. will you be as fair with your child as the adopted one? i surehope so but i dont' see it. you have to really think about this and then agree. then you can go to adoption agency and see whith all these questions. i was adopted out of michigan in leland county and i was ok and it was relative but guess what? my adopted mom has alot of jealousy towareds me and now its sad cuase shes old basicially hates me and like doens't want ot live me nothing so afraid i will get her stuff and i have given everything away to her favorite granddaughter and stuff so this woudln't upset her but guess who has her yep me and i hate it but i have to they can' t do this so remember will you be fair and the parents they are the parents even though you are there. yes they can know they are adopted but is it also good to let them k now you are parents of the baby? i mean all this comes at a n age when they can reason but think slowly about what you are doing take care.

Answer 8

The only problem is that if you adopt the child then the mother will have the issue in her face for the rest of her life.  How good are you at keeping all this a secret!  If it is going to be open then how much do you want the mother involved in the child's lift.  All things to consider before the action is taken!

Answer 9

I agree with the person who suggested legal guardianship.  It sounds like the only thing standing in the way of your sister-in-law raising her child is age and maybe money.  If it's not that she just doesn't want her child, then I feel the best thing all around for the child is to work out a legal guardianship agreement where the child stays in the family (which is what you want, too) and that the familial relationships remain as they naturally are.  This way you can help the baby and the baby can have his or her family remain intact, as well.  What's best for the child in the short term and the long term is what matters the most.  Your sister-in-law won't be 16 forever.