Releasing anger towards mother.?

Question

My mother and I haven not been on the best of terms for quite some while. Basically when I explain something to her or how I feel about something, she blows it way out of proportion and I'm either a.)too good for everyone because I have a good job, b.)ungrateful, c.)always disrespectful to her and everyone else. You know, a guilt trip.

Well according to her, I have anger issues, which I fully admit. Mainly towards her. Normally I would just put her in her place respectfully, but she has to run and tell her parents, my grandparents, the people who raised me and get them involved as if she can't handle the problem herself. After all, my issue was with her. So then I get my grandfather basically telling me to respect my mother, even if she is being nasty.

What to do?

Answer 1

That makes me sad. My mother died when I was 21 and she was only 52.

As far as the question, if it only happens when you are alone with her and you admit you do have anger issues maybe you are not realizing that you are acting in anger.  If that isn't the case then the best thing would be to make sure others are around when you are with her so that there is no misunderstanding. I can't tell you to stay away from your mother because my mother was my best friend and it just makes me sad to see people not get along with their mom. I do realize it sometimes is the mothers fault, it just is really sad.

I wish you and your mom could get along better. All you can do is try.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

ok this is what you do. write her a letter about how you feel. then give it to her and leave the room that way she cant blow it in your face

Answer 3

Sounds like she wants the grandparents to take her side.  Don't worry about what your grandparents think.  They know whats going on - That's why they have to help raise you.  I went to the same thing with my mom.  I eventually told her I forgive her for all the things she put me through.  And, she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about.  I said, "I'm doing this for me, not you".  You have to release her manipulation on you.  And, that might include limiting your contact with her. You just have to realize that there are people out there like this and one of them is your mom.  She's never going to change -This is it- accept it.  

Answer 4

How about having a good chat with your grandparents in which you explain to them that you are trying to be respectful and adult in handling the issues with your mother and find if offensive that she continually drags them into and tries to make you the bad guy, and ask them to respectfully stay out of it, which will force the two of you to either work it out or not.  Your mother is just using them, and since she gets to them first they get her side and not yours.  Also, if you have a "neutral" adult party who could serve as a mediator for you and your mother you two could sit down and try to work on the issues at hand (fold a piece of paper in half, make a list of problems on one side of a piece of paper and possible solutions on the side).  Ask the mediator and your mother over for a hot cup of tea, turn off all phones, tv, radio, etc. NO INTERRUPTIONS.  Then sit down as adults and work on the issues at hand.  With a neutral party you should get results, or at the very least someone to tell you either you are being unreasonable or she is.  Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

If it were I, I would tell my mother I was grounding her from seeing me until she apologized and corrected the way she treated me.

I would tell her that I recognize I am still her child, but I am not a child anymore and I deserve to be treated like an adult and respected.  I would also discuss how I feel with my grandparents about their role in this only.. dont talk to them about your mother, just about how you feel they are treating you in this situation.