Religion...poem?

Question

Yesterday I walked down this street,

I saw a couple of pigeons,

They were eating something on the street.

I didn't think that if I looked up I would see God,

But sure enough he was looking down with one h**l of a frown.

He said 'Son you have to make believe,

Make believe everything is sweet...do it for me'

I really didn't know what to say, so I looked and said, 'go away.

I don't want the burden of what you can't fix,

I'll throw you a bone, you throw a cruifix.'

You said your son died for us all,

Then why is the world such a disgrace,

The people with blood and frowns on the face,

And yet you say it will go away.

I've never been the type to go against faith

But it happened today,. I just lost that taste,

So I'm writing to you and I don't have your number,

So I'll send it on one of those pigeons,

let me know what you think..

Answer 1

sweet dude.  "I'll throw you a  bone, you throw a  rucifix." love that line.  

BTW - havent had time to work on that song yet.  but I'm going to be recording some stuff in studio on sunday.  i'l see if I can get it done.

Answer 2

it's a very good and interesting poem.

Answer 3

The first stanza is pretty much horrible but the second is much better, keep writing and you will get better. :)

Answer 4

I think it's really good.  Very sad.  But it's missing something:

Then God replied, my son, I hear and understand your doubts

I know the world is full of pain and wish it was without...

I see your poem, I hear your thoughts, I cry the tears you cry

And just like you, when I see tears, I often wonder... WHY?

See... I can only help the ones who throw me more than bones

more than just the body, I want also hearts and souls.

And even if the world looks like a hard, cruel, evil place

a life here equals seconds in the grand scheme's time and space.

Although the trials are hard and the reward can seem so far,

don't let it kill your courage, see my face in skies and stars...

And I'll send back this pigeon, as a pure white little dove

when you see it, and the good on earth, remember you are loved.