Religious and dating someone who isnt. My bf believes (click to read)....Any suggestions?

Question

My boyfriend believes that religion is bad because all it does is causes war- his example Iraq.

I used to not mind that he isn't religious, but we started dating in high school. We are both out of high school now and I have become more sensitive in my time. I am now sensitive about my religion and I love him dearly but don't want to have kids with him and be the parent that takes them to church while he sits back and sets a poor example. I know I know....easy way out, break up. BuT he gets mad that I would want to break up "Simply because he doesn't go to church" Any suggestions??

Answer 1

Actually resources and expansion cause more wars than religion. So he needs to get his facts straight on that.

Relationship wise, it's all about compromise. You both have control over your own lives, he should be happy that you are happy in your religion and want your kids to be a part of it. Just like you should be happy with his decision not to be religious so he can keep your mind in a more reality sense of things. Easy way to get through this, is just tell him that you're a bit sensitive about your religion and he should understand and respect that.

Answer 2

You're young and have plenty of time to find to right man.  You should dump him and find someone who shares your beliefs so you will be happy.

Answer 3

You don't love him that way, break it off or take your distance.

Your instinct is telling you that you don't want children with him, and that's a BIG indicator, no matter what the reason is for you being together.

You better pray about it first for nine days.

Answer 4

If you're not willing for your kids to hear about both your religion and your boyfriends' lack of it, I don't think it will work.

Answer 5

Well he does have a point. How is not going to church a poor example? He is expressing his religious views, so you want to break up with him because he doesn't believe in what you believe in?

Answer 6

Well I guess Im a very bad guy who doesnt go to church... :P

No he is who he is and he doesnt hurt anybody...so he is not bad.

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The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend personal God and avoid dogma and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this deion .. If there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism.

-Albert Einstein-

Answer 7

Leave him, he will free himself from a christian ignorant girl such as you.

Answer 8

Depends.  If you are really a born-again Christian- you will have a FAR far better marriage if you marry a fellow believer. It's just natural.  A marriage is best when there is a true meeting on the spiritual level.

Your BF doesn't sound like he is atheist- just wary. Which isn't a bad thing, because there IS a lot of nonsense out here in the world over religions lately.  It's enough to scare off anyone. So confusing.

If he is a very decent man, raised in the right way- and has no objection to you being Christian, or raising any children so- it might work.

Only you know the answer- deep inside.   Listening to the right answer might be hard. But follow your instinct.  Perhaps get some counsel from some trusted fellow Christians.

Answer 9

Well, there are two issues here.

One is you seem to think he is a bad person because he doesn't believe as you do.  That means you don't respect him.  For example, how would he be setting a poor example by not going to church?  I would say that you would be setting the bad example in indoctrinating your children and teaching them beliefs as if they were knowledge or at all necessary in having a full and happy life.  You need to ask yourself why you want to be the parent that takes your children to church.

The second issue is your philosophy of relationships.  If you have incompatible worldviews, there is no point in continuing the relationship.  However, if you think you love him, you should be able to communicate with him.  That means being able to talk about "controversial" subjects in an open and honest manner.  Why are you "sensitive" about your religion?  Does that make you defensive in any conversation you might have with him?  Can you discuss your varying views on religion in an effective and objective manner?  Can you discuss how you might want to raise your kids and come to a mutual understanding?  

Communication is key.  There is no real reason why two people with different beliefs cannot rationally come to a mutual understanding based on honesty and openness.  

Answer 10

Religion will play a major part in everyone's life. It is really up to you what you choose. The war in Iraq is not even for a religious cause, its political. There is no such thing as a religious war nowadays, it is all about power and world domination, unfortunately they say they do it in the name of the religions.

In a household, no matter what you do, if you become his wife, even as equals he is still a greater influence than you because he's the 'father' of the house. He has greater responsibilities which give him a bit more of the authority. If you can't break up with him now due to religious reason, I honestly don't think he'll give your due rights as a wife if you marry him.

Ask yourself this: If you stand in front of God and if He asks you why you neglected Him because of your bf, and if your bf is anymore important than Him? What would you say?  

Answer 11

if Church is important to you why, other than sharing the "work" load is this an issue? If you believe you should be in church and you believe your children belong in church  . . . um. . .  why wouldn't you take them?

How would arguing about who "has" to take the kids to church change his mind?What sort of issue would that bring up with the kids? If Dad doesn't have to go to church why should they? If that happens you, then, go by yourself, if that is what you believe.

I'm not really clear on the concept here, what is more important; "why" you go or "who" must attend?  

Answer 12

It is much better to follow God and not go to church, that to try to follow God by going to church.  Show me where Jesus ever asked us to go to church?  That was Paul.  Paul knew nothing of God!

Answer 13

he's right.

and how is it a "bad example" to not go to church?

Answer 14

This is a hard situation you're in.  But, lets look at what God says on the subject, you are unequally yoked.  We are to not date someone whose is not a believer, as it will cause problems down the line.  As you stated, you don't want to take the kids to church alone.

So, you have two choices really, one, you can break up w/him and pray for God to lead you to a soul mate who you are equally yoked to, or you can have a serious talk with him about why he doesn't' like church.  Is it church in general he hates or is it a specific denomination?

Either way, you have a hard row to hoe ahead, a friend of mine at church is saved and comes to church regularly w/the kids, but her husband, who is also saved, has no interest in church; its hard on her, but she is praying that he will see the need for church and come.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 15

He sets a poor example for having an opinion? I think you need to rethink how you think.

Answer 16

I agree with your boyfriend. If his conclusions upset you, then break up with him and let the man find someone more compatible, as you will find for yourself.

He would be setting a good example by staying home from church, as I do.

Answer 17

politics causes wars also.