Religious "fitting in" question?

Question

I apologize ahead of time for the circles I'm about to run in, and for the bushes I'm about to beat...

I'm a mother who wants to homeschool. My family's religion was based more on what was right and wrong, instead of what was written in the bible (which was the actual base of our morals...I am not an athiest)

Anyway, the homeschooling community in this area is extremely based on religion. I only know the general stories from the bible, they know it inside and out...I think even all the "begetting" in the front. I will make my child understand how important God is in our lives, but as far as homeschooling goes, I would like to keep it seperate. I know it sounds horrible, but that's where my comfort zone is. I don't want my daughter to be left out of socialization because of religious differences (or degrees therein...or however you want to say it).

I'm not sure how to go about "fitting in", when I don't actually fit in???

Answer 1

First, not apologies needed. This is an interesting question!

Please know that homeschoolers, as a rule, don't fit in - we fit "out" of the school system. Also, I'm not sure where you live, but I have to expect that there are some other hsers there. Keep in mind that just because someone can quote book and verse of the Bible, doesn't mean they expect you to do the same.

Most importantly, and most difficult of all, try not to project your insecurities on your daughter. Even at a young age, she can pick up on it. I know this is more easily said than done, but it is something you will have to work on. Most children are not going to require that their friends can quote scripture to them, so she will probably have no trouble at all with friends.

Take care.

Answer 2

You are undoubtedly not the only person in your area who feels that way. There may be a group started already or you might be able to get one going. If you really can't find other people who have a better fit with you, just limit the activities with the existing community, or set things up that won't be so religion-focused, like swimming lessons, and have her more involved in the general community than the homeschool community. She doesn't have to be with other homeschoolers to be able to socialize.

Also, it's true that your daughter may not have a problem fitting in with the other kids--at the playground or wherever, they aren't likely to be discussing the Bible--but you may find it awkward hanging out with the other parents. But you might not. You might sit there and discussions could be about daily kinds of things. (If you've already been doing things with them, then ignore this last part.)

Answer 3

You don't have to join any particular group to homeschool. I'm homeschooled and we are basically an independent group. I'm involved in some programs at one of our local public highschools but most of the time, my family is on our own.

Answer 4

There are plenty of homeschoolers from all different religions and from non religious backgrounds.  Try looking for homeschool groups in your area that say they are "open" or "non-exclusive", even if you don't find any, I doubt you would stand out much unless you adamantly argued against the Bible or something like that.  As far as the kids go, they rarely even ask "Are you a Christian?" they just ask, "Do you want to play?" and run off together.

Answer 5

I was homeschooled full time through sixth grade, then part time through tenth grade.  Even after starting community college in eleventh grade, I retained close social ties with the homeschooling community.

Though much of my education was based in religion (using religious curriculum and such) and many of my friends had similar backgrounds, I can't recall ever sitting around and discussing Bible stories ;)

In high school we began to make friends with other kids who were homeschooled but had very divergent religious backgrounds.  It was, on occasion, an interesting thing to discuss, but never something that would have caused us to say, "Sorry, you just don't fit in."

While I realize kids can be cruel, my experience was always with kids who either found difference intriguing or felt that it just didn't matter.

Stick to your guns - give your daughter a quality education and keep it separate from religion.  I was much happier when that became our standard in junior high.  Your daughter will find her place.

Best of luck!

Answer 6

Please don't feel insecure.  You are not an atheist and you do want to teach your children about the importance of God in your lives, so I don't think that you should have any concerns.  I was involved in a homeschool group that was active in many ways, sports, arts, field trips and mommy support nights.  Just about everyone was a practicing Christian of some sort; they went to a variety of different churches.  The very few who were not Christians were welcomed to all activities.   Never was anyone questioned on belief.  All mommy groups and seminars opened with a prayer, that was the extent of the "religion" encountered.   What they did expect was appropriate standards of behavior.   No lying, cheating, pushing, smoking or swearing.   Many people have different levels of faith, different levels of biblical knowledge and go/not go to different churches.  Maybe you are being to critical of yourself and too hard on these people.  You are all mothers who want the best for your children and are in the group for the same thing-to enrich your children by socializing with others.  Go to this group and smile and they will smile back at you and welcome you and your child.                                   Oh good grief.  If she is only three you really are being too hard on yourself by thinking  you and your beautiful little daughter would not fit in.  Of course you would.   I have the same atitude as you and I was accepted without batting an eye.   (It's at church where I am not accepted and think my kids are rejected because of me)   But homeschool groups are  moms and homeschoolers and unless they all go to the same narrow, cliquey church you shouldn't have any problems

Answer 7

I found the religious homeschool groups to be all holier than thou so I started my own group.  I put up flyers at the library (a homeschoolers best friend) to get the word out and our group grew in weeks to several families.  2 years later, we have a group of 40 families, some are religious, some arent, we all choose to accept each other and support each other for who we are rather than our religious beliefs.

Answer 8

I homeschool in the Bible Belt, am a Christian (I'm one of those that knows the stories inside and out), and I really don't think you'd have a problem fitting in.  I do have friends that I co op with, and we include scripture instruction with our kids (2-3 families doing a month-long study or something like that), but that's with my very close friends (almost like family-type friends).

There are over 150 families in our group, and we're all friendly with each other, go on field trips/playdates/etc., regardless of each other's background.  We are a Christian-based group (though there are secular groups in our area too), but it's just part of our life - we don't sit around debating scripture or picking apart sermons as a practice.  More often we'll offer support through prayer, or bring meals to a family in need, or just have coffee and discuss daily things.

We have families from many different backgrounds and levels of involvement in our group, and all are completely welcome.  We do have guidelines to follow (don't try to split the group by spreading gossip or rumors, don't use language that would be harmful to kids, dress fairly modestly - I'm just talking all primary parts covered, not 3 sweaters and a long jean skirt, be respectful to each other, if you take something on do your best to follow through, etc.).  However, we don't make our new members learn a catechism or anything like that :-)

I understand where you're coming from, but I think that you might want to check out the different groups and see which fits you best.  If a scriptural conversation does come up, feel free to sit and listen, excuse yourself, or get involved - maybe even ask them to explain what they mean by what they say.  None of us know every little thing about the Bible - even those who read it cover to cover each year find new things each time.

We're nice, promise!  Good luck!

Answer 9

I'm not sure what you mean. My mom homeschooled me kindergarten to seventh grade, and she wasn't part of a homeschooling group or anything. I was just at home with her, and eventually my two younger siblings, who are still homeschooled now. I think it's really important to be at home and firmly establish your beliefs before going to public school. I was part of an online school in eight grade, and now I'm getting ready for my sophomore year at Gresham High.

Answer 10

Are you planning on joining a social group of home schoolers?  We home school and are not a part of local support groups though there are many to choose from in our area.  We get support online and get our social life from public school friends, church, and community sports.  I don't see how religious differences would be an issue in home schooling your 3 year old.