Rephrase, please?--(: ox?

Question

This is my own work, but i need help with rephrasing.

if anyone would be so kind?

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Nevertheless, one of the most prominent consequences of such ill feeling towards the 1960s peace protests occurred on 30th Jan 1972, also known as Bloody Sunday, when the civil rights movement marched against Internment in Londonderry. People had gathered in thousands, on that day thirteen marchers were shot by British troops. The investigations into the unprovoked shootings were believed a ‘white wash.’ A large amount of the population of Ireland turned towards violence through their rage of these killings, Loyalist areas responded to Republican violence by killing innocent Catholic civilians. The consequences of Bloody Sunday were the breakdown of law and order in Northern Ireland; the IRA attacks on mainland Britain were to remove the British of Irish soil completely. Another consequence was the police army were unwelcome in the catholic areas and the IRA started a bombing campaign in the U.K.

thank you.

ox

Answer 1

Rewritten with changes:

Nevertheless, one of the most prominent consequence of such ill feeling toward [no s] the 1960s peace protests occurred on 30th Jan 1972, also known as Bloody Sunday.  Thousands of civil rights protesters had gathered to march against Internment in Londonderry.  On that day thirteen marchers were shot by British troops.  The investigations into the unprovoked shootings were believed a "white wash."  A large number of Irish people turned toward violence through their rage over these killings.  Loyalist areas responded to Republican violence by killing innocent Catholic civilians.  The effect of Bloody Sunday was a breakdown of law and order in Northern Ireland.  The police army were unwelcome in Catholic areas, and the IRA started a bombing campaign in the U.K. with the goal of removing the British from Irish soil completely.

You wrote a pretty good paragraph to start with, so that was easy.

Answer 2

On that day people had gathered in their thousands. Thirteen marchers were shot by British troops.

believed to be a whitewash.....

A large part of the population.....out of rage over the killings.

remove the British off.....

....consequence was that the police...

Catholic areas

just my preferences...otherwise a good account