Replaying deaths in my head!?

Question

There are 2 particular deaths that I just keep replaying and replaying in my head almost, if not, daily! In one particular death I go from an hour before it happened where we were all together having a good time, to an hour after that when we got the phone call that my cousin was killed by a drunk driver, I remember every word that was in the conversation on the phone, I remember every single little detail in these deaths! Some days I just can't function properly thinking about these two deaths.

Is going to a counselor the only thing that will help? Or, is there something they will tell me to do that I can do on my own, so I won't have to go?

It's not that I want to completely forget the deaths of the two loved ones, it's just that I want to remember all the good times, but I am having a very hard time doing that when I am constantly replaying the deaths and what lead to the deaths!

Not sure if this is the right section, if not then please direct me to a better section. I mean, I wasn't sure what section to put this in because Yahoo was suggestion me to put it in Volleyball!

Answer 1

That is a heavy load to keep on your mind constantly.

You have to accept that they are gone,and you worrying about it won't bring them back. You should talk to a therapist,it could help you a lot.

Good luck.  

Answer 2

Look at it like this: people who care would want you to feel happy rather than sad. I'm guessing these people cared about you. Most want to be remembered though so remember them. Make a shrine or something in their name. Maybe write things you liked about them in it.  

Answer 3

I do think that you should see a grief counsellor about it simply because you can then talk about it out in the open and get all of your feelings out in a safe environment.  Unless you have a wide circle of friends that you can talk with.

Answer 4

It was just traumatic.  It was a shock, and you have to accept they are gone.  You need to try to think or do something positive to keep it off your mind.  Life goes on.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry.  Death is a hard thing.  We spend months, years, or even our entire life with the presence of a someone in our life, with them being there, and with us thinking that they are always going to be there.  When they're lives are taken from us it disrupts how we spent so much time thinking and we have to adjust to that.  

There are a few reasons that you could be replaying these in your mind.  Part of you may be having a hard time adjusting to the change, so you keep replaying what happened trying to figure it out and make sense of it.  It might also be one of the last "living" memories that you have of the people and one of the last things that you can hold on to.  It might also be that you're replaying them because you're looking for ways that the deaths could have been prevented, something you could have done, or what you would have done if you had known they were going to die.  

Having someone close die is difficult.  I think whether or not you should see a counselor is up to you.  If you feel like what you're going through is a natural part of the mourning process you'll probably be fine.  Try to figure out why it is you keep thinking about what happened and do what you can to resolve those issues.  If you think this is something that is getting in the way of you living the way you should be, work with someone to help resolve it.

Answer 6

I am a doctor.  If this has been an issue for over 6 months, you need to see, not only a counselor, but an actual professional - either a psychologist or a psychiatrist.  DO NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY.  the longer you wait to get help, the more damage you will inflict on yourself.  And with time, your mental anguish will translate into physical - meaning, depression can cause physical ailments such as obesity, heart disease, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, chronic headaches, sexual dysfunction, and more.  Help yourself, and see a professional.