Repost 16, pregnant, in a hazardous environment and she wants to move in with me (warning its pretty long)?

Question

my girlfriend is 16 (turning 17 on Oct 26 2008) and shes 5 month pregnant. her name is amber. she lives in her grandparents trailer with her step dad, biological mom, and two step siblings. with 2 dogs and 3 cats. in other words its suicide for my soon to be baby. its the worst environment ever, both her step dad and mom do drugs and sell

them. they cant even support themselves but they choose to pick on me. they also hate me cause my skin complection resembles that of a mexican but really im Italian and Brazilian, also because im 19. i gave my advice by telling her to call dcf so that they lose there kids and get arrested if they try anything funny, but she doesn't want to do

it, why? i dont know. i live with my parent in a middle class neighborhood in a decent 3bed/2bath house. both my parents love her to death and would take her in, the only reason that her parents wont let her move out is that they want her extra $500 in income tax

money, but don't they admit it with me, but they brag about it with her. its the mental and physical stress that is appalling and inhuman in her present situation. her parents makes her cook and clean after everyone and then at the end of the day she barely gets to use the phone to talk to me.it drives me nuts when she treats them with respect like they're good parents er something when they treat her like **** just because shes pregnant by me.if she got pregnant by some drug dealer i bet the would be treating her like gold. well now that you might get the situation let me ask the question.... she wants to move out but her parents brainwash her to stay and try to make her feel sorry for them, try to threaten her that they'll try to take our baby away, or that they'll just call the cops to bring her back home. we are from Florida and we want to know if she can leave her house without having to rely on the cops cause she doesn't want to tell the cops why she doesn't want to live with them anymore cause it would be enough to put them away for pretty much their whole lives. can anybody help? I'm begging you!

Answer 1

My question is why are u messing with a  poor 16 y/o anyways? If u do call the police they just might lock U up for criminal sexual conduct!

Answer 2

I think that its obvious she doesn't want to live where she is now and can't continue to live there.

When the baby is born it will be hard for you to share chores and childcare as well as finance and it will be hard for her to live at home when she doesn't want to be there.

If you move in the next few months then you can get space ready for her and the baby and it will be less stressful on her and the baby although i really think you need to discuss this with her as it is a big decision.

Answer 3

Call the police station in your community and give them this information. Ask for their advice. Don't give any names.

Answer 4

You can call a local attorney in your city and tell them the story and see if legally she can leave.  I'm in Missouri and I got pregnant at sixteen and only had to have permission to get married but at 17 you can leave and no one can do anything about it.  I don't know about it where you are from but it wouldn't hurt to call.  And if one person turns you down call another. my b/f was 19 too when it happened too

Answer 5

She's got to make a tough decision, because from what it sounds like, her parents won't LET her go. She is going to have to..blackmail them, I'd have her get evidence together to say "look, here's the deal, I'm moving in with <whatever your name is> wether you like it or not, I'm looking out for the best intrest of my child." if they start with the threats, then she can pull the evidence out on them.

She needs to put your baby first now. Best of luck, just remember to support her no matter what.

Answer 6

Sadly, there isn’t a whole lot you can do in this kind of situation, with her being only 16 years old. If she moved out with or without her parent’s consent, they could, at any time, call the police and report her as a runaway. She does NEED to get out of that situation though. I feel terrible for her. I hate to tell you, but there are two ways she can truly get herself and your baby out of that situation. One would be to go to the police and report her parents. In which case, she would then go through a long drawn out process where she gets put into a foster home, etc. Option number two: There is actually a way to “divorce” your parents (It’s actually called Emancipation and it is allowed in Cali.) Here in OK, you’re allowed to do it at the age of 16. In Cali, it’s allowed at 14. To do this, I’m pretty sure it’s just a bunch of paperwork she and the parents have to sign and some legal fees (which I’m sure could be outrageous.) After this process, she would be legally independent, but not really. It wouldn’t mean she could get an apartment on her own, or buy a car or cigarettes. It basically just means her parents wouldn’t be capable of reporting her as a runaway and she would be able to sign things for herself such as school forms, etc. I know her parents aren’t going to want to consent to such a thing. So, I would try the blackmail route. When they’re given the option of sign this form and show up for this hearing or go to jail for a long time, I think they’ll cave.

If the Emancipation turns out not to be an option for the two of you, you could consider two other options. One, she joins the military. Two, you get married. Both of which would also require their approval but at least you wouldn’t have the fees.

I really feel terrible for both you and your girlfriend and definitely that baby! I hope everything works out! Good luck to you!  

Form you need to fill out for Emancipation: "Petition for Declaration of Emancipation of Minor, Order Prescribing Notice, Declaration of Emancipation, and Order Denying Petition [form MC-300]."

Answer 7

Why are so many children so desperate to have se and risk conceiving a child  at such a young age.  So much for s*x ed and free condoms in the schools...

In many states an underage teenager becomes an emancipated minor by the act of having a baby.  You do know that you have committed a crime by having s*x with a minor that you are not married to, right? I'm not sure what $500 income tax you are talking about - do you mean the EIC credit/dependent credit?  If she keeps this baby her parents won't be able to claim her as a dependent since she will now have to claim to be head of her household in order to get benefits.

Campaign for her to give the child up for adoption.    Since you were smart enough to concieve a child, you need to get smart enough to know how to do right by the child.

Answer 8

well, i was 16 when i got prego, and i wanted to move out, my dad didn't really agree, but he eventually let me. she can leave, what are they gonna do, call the cops? ha. tell her that she needs to think of the little baby growing inside her, not her screwed up family having their feelings hurt. and btw, my bf was 19 too.  

Answer 9

I think it would be hard for her parents to take the baby away from her since they are doing drugs. Tell her it the best for her and the baby to move out and live your family. The baby shouldn't be around that. The best thing is to call Children service on her parents. I think she should tell her story to them and that your parents want to take her in the house. Or call the police and have her tell them. Now she does need to tell them now. She needs to get out of there now.

Answer 10

Here is my advice to you; have her start documenting the drug use that her parents do. Tape recording, photos anything that can be used against them if the try to take the baby. Have her even start keeping a journal with dates and information of the bad things that her parents are doing. I highly doubt they will get the law involved. I'm not familiar with Florida law, so I don't know how the system could do that, but I don't know. She feels guilty probably because of her siblings. That sucks, but I am glad that you and your parents are there for her, she obviously needs the help.

Hang in there, I'm sure everything will work out, but I would definately document the drug use, over the next few weeks, and then move her in with you and your mom and dad.