Respectful answers please, what do i do about my parents with their drinking problems?

Question

A few weeks ago, my parents went out to dinner with their friends and both of them came back inebriated. when they came back to our house, they brought their friends with them (which they had specifically said they wouldn't) and started making fun of me. i mean, they were just teasing me but they went too far and wouldn't let me leave. i had cleaned up the kitchen while they were out because they were late (as usual) and in a great rush. then, the next morning i cleaned the kitchen again from the mess they had left from when they and their friends had come back. i know this seems selfish or something of me but i was really upset when they didn't even thank me for it. i think i wanted them to thank me, not really for cleaning up, but sort of like thank me for putting up with their drinking. also, in the morning my mom found my ring (you know, one of those cheep solid stone ones for kids?) broken in pieces but I got it in Australia when I was young and it ment a lot to me. My mother knew

Answer 1

this is definantly something to concern about and i think you should try to talk to your parents while they are sober. If you feel that talking to your parents does not work, try talking to a responsible adult other than your parents such as another family member or friend. Maybe they will be able to help you or your parents. Explain to them your situation and that you are worried. You also deserved to be thanked for putting up with this in the end.

Answer 2

i think you should video tape them, so they can see how foolish they act. maybe they'll see how it hurts you.

Answer 3

You said they are good parents.

Just lock yourself in your bedroom before they are home and leave them be.

No need to clean up after them.

I'm sorry that you have this problem. Just be glad they are good parents.

Answer 4

Your right; confronting your parents is a waste of time and possibly dangerous. Go to Alateen TODAY! Or speak with a therapist or school counselor immediately! Whether you realize it or not, your parents are alcoholics and are having an incredibly negative impact on you that will affect you and your future relationaships (negatively) for the rest of your life, unless  you learn how to take care of YOURSELF and stop being your parents' parent.  You desrve better...much better.  Let Alateen or a counselor help you. This is extremely difficult to navigate by yourself.  You need the support of people who have "been there" and overcome this. Don't be afraid to go to an Alateen or Alanon meeting.  You don't even have to speak while you are there, unless you want to.  Take a friend with you if you want to. You will learn a lot about your parents, yourself and the hurt you have suffered.  You need to learn how to let go of the hurt, see that your parents are sick, and move on to a happy, secure life.  It can be done.  But you cannot do it alone.  You are right that you cannot talk to someone who is drunk.  It will just frustrate you and possibly get them angry and put you in harms way.  Even talking the next day is most likely fruitless.  Alcoholics are in severe denial of their drinking problem and behavior.  They will only make you feel guilty and responsible for the incident and make you feel like YOU are crazy. PLEASE, go to Alanon or Alateen today.  Do a search for a meeting near you. They usually meet in churches or community centers. You will be surprised that they are all over your community.  I grew up with alcoholics, married one and hopefully saved my daughter from the same mistakes by getting help. Please don't make the mistakes I did by ignoring this problem.  I'm finally seeking help at the age of 35.  Please start now on your road to freedom and happiness.  Another good source of help is Alcohol and drug outpatient or in-patient rehab centers in your area.  They often have programs for the "significant others" or family members of alcoholics.  Read books on the subject in the library.  But, above all else, get to an Alanon or Alateen meeting or therapist TODAY!