Responses to people hating on single moms...?

Question

My sister just had a baby but she is a single mother. she gets lots of haters just being like, you're a terrible person and you made such a huge mistake and the rest of you're life you're going to be chained down by this kid.

But my sister loves her baby and she is a good person. What are some mature responses to people who say things like that to her. She doesn't want to get in fights or try to tell them they're wrong for having an opinion she just wants them to respect her decision to keep her baby. what are some things she could say or ways to direct the conversation away from her single-motherhood?

Answer 1

How about something like "I made the decision to keep this baby because I felt I could love and care for it.  You might not agree, but you don't have to -- it's my child, not yours"?

Answer 2

I'm sorry if my attempt to make the best of a less than favorable situation offends you.  But if you like I can consult you next time I make a major life decision.  

Thats what I might be tempted to say but in the end it might be better judgement to just smile & nod with a "Thanks for your opinion".  Sometimes people just can't help throwing their two cents in, even if they haven't been asked.  I'd say a statement like that is more likely to close the subject rather than open a dialogue & that's probably what she would like to avoid. People have already formed their opinions, no amount of debate on morals or judgement will change that so why bother?  I'd say a big middle finger to anybody who doesn't like her choice after the fact,  the time for those conversations was before the baby came so at this point all she can do is make the best out of what is on her plate.  The best revenge for all the naysayers is success.    

P.S  I found this funny quote, she just can think of it in her head anytime somebody feels like they need to editorialize on her life.

Oh it looks like “...the image of the Lord had been replaced by a mirror.”  Jorge Luis Borges.

Answer 3

im a single mother myself for now eventully i hope to marry and he adopt her as his own but i dont think people should judge us single mothers they have no idea what we go threw me i was in love with him i forgave him once for cheating on me he did it again and i confronted him it ended up in abuse and i had to get out of that situation or i would not be having my little girl and i might not even be here he told me he wasnt gonna take care of her unless i was with him its very tough to take care of a kid by yourself i think people should get the reason why shes a single mother before they say anything bad and single mothers are some of the best mothers because they give the love for the mother and father and they will do anything to make sure there kid doesnt get hurt i know im gonna be a great mother and i dont give a c**p what anyone has to say about me my daughter is my life and s***w the jerk that dont want anything to do with her i found someone wwwaaayyyyy better

Answer 4

That is so stupid.  There are so many single mothers out there now a days that it is becoming somewhat normal.  If I was here I would respond something like this...

" Oh really, it bothers you that much... Well that's good to know." --- then I would change the subject showing the person that their opinion does not bother me.  Some of them look for a reaction hoping for a negative one.

                                        OR

"Well everyone has a right to their own opinion... And obviously I have mine... But thanks for sharing"

It's hard when you are dealing with people who think that what you are doing is wrong and you would like to scream until you are blue in the face but can't.  Tell your sister to act as nonchalant as possible maybe then people will see that she doesn't care what they think and that she is a strong person for it.

Answer 5

well ive found that the biggest percentage of people who have something to say about me and my single motherhood, are the upper class, white married republican women who think their S**t don't stink.  they usually whine and complain about how single moms are going to take their tax money for welfare and all that c**p even though yes i am a young mom but i am not taking anyones tax money for welfare and even if i WAS there tax money would just go to something else if there wasnt welfare.... i like to think they are just miserable in their failing marriages and need to find something to take their anger out on. I also think they're just jealous because we look better, and are younger, and happier then they are. i don't know it's so many things. when someone actually confronts me with the whole 'wow your young, is he yours?' c**p, i usually just say something polite like 'yes i am young' and smile, but if they get rude, then i get rude, and tell them to mind their own bussiness.

Answer 6

Your sister is a good person...she is doing a job that really requires two people.  She deserves twice the kudos if she is staying off public assistance.

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and single (the cowardly b*****d abandoned me when I was 14 weeks along).  There seems to be a misconception that single mother=uneducated white trash.  Hey, I have an education.  College educated, 30 years old, employed full time with health insurance, etc.  I think many married women could take a few pointers from me.

Answer 7

I think thats bull c**p about single moms. if they want to have kids why is it any one elses concern. most moms wouldn't want to give up any child they had. some people might not understand that its hard work having a baby  in their stomach for 9 months.

Answer 8

Just walk away. Why explain your self, or be nasty? Just walk away and if they say " I was talking to you" Just say " I believe in 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' so I'm walking away." leave them with their mouth hanging open and your head up high.

Answer 9

She could just inquire how they feel about abortion? Is that would they would rather?

Also, have her explain that she wouldn't change anything in the world and that she was asked to be a mother by this baby and she is happy and proud to do so.

That should shut them up without being disrespectful.

Answer 10

I would tell them to F off.  Oh wait thats not mature.  

Tell them "Thanks for your concern, but we are doing just fine and I've never been happier.  How could I ever regret giving life to this wonderful person this perfect child.  I love being a mom and I love my baby more than anything else I wish someday you get to experience this wonderful joy of motherhood."

Answer 11

Ok ok.... tell her to say this: "Yeah, i have to take care of this kid, but i would have to take care of my babies one way or another, even if i was older. At least i have the privellege of havin my lil baby A LOT sooner than you did!" Or, "How is a lil baby gonna chain me down? Its a lil innocent baby. Its not an evil monster." Or, "Why are you mad that i have a baby? Im happy WITH the baby! Why you jealous? Cuz i had mine sooner than you (and if they dont got one then its 'cuz i had one and you still havent?')?" Or, "Can you stop tryin to make me regret this baby, because its not really workin. Its ma lil baby, and ima raise it to be a good child."

Now, you as the sister, need to cuss the sh*t outa those people. Because, if a kid is put up for adoption, its f#cked up to say, "Haha! your parents dont like you! Thats why the put you up for adoption!" Thats really shady. And its also shady to tell a single mother that her mistake to do something she wanted to do is going to ruin her life. Thats messed up. And if they say that the baby is a lot of expenses, say "yeah no sh*t! Why are you stating the obvious?" And if they say she has to drop out of school, you can say, "Look, its called a BABY SITTER!!! And im sure i can go find a guy at home depot that has a wife here that can take care of my baby properly for a good price!!!" Really. Theres lots of things. A baby is a good thing. Not a bad. And people shouldnt be @ssholes like that. Tell em that this be@ner, (Jose-Jose) (Even they dont know me) says to them people buggin yo sis, "STFU!!! My people do it too! And we are kool wid it! so STFU and quit hating on a lil baby!!!"

lol

Answer 12

I would say something to the affect of.......

As much as I respect everyone's right to an opinion, what I decide to do in my personal life is really none of your business.  So, if you don't have something nice to say, please take your comment elsewhere.  :)

Answer 13

At least im taking responsibility for something i created...

Many GREAT single woman make plenty of themselves...

BIG HUGE CONGRATS TO YOUR RESPONSIBLE SISTER!!!x*x

Answer 14

People used to give me sh*t for being a single mother too. I didn't want to be rude (like they we're being), so I simply just changed the subject or I walked away. I never responded to them. Your sister (and every other single mom) doesn't owe anyone a response, and therefore, we don't have to give them one. Next time someone b*****s about your sister being a single mom, have her walk away. Those people don't matter anyway.

Answer 15

mainstream america sees young single parent hood as a mistake...

I say, it is what it is, and if anyone appreciates the fact that she had the baby, its the Baby!!  Unfortunately, I think it comes with the territory, you will have some ******* that will criticize you.  You have to consider the source.  Maybe, its a person that waited too late in life to have a baby, and now they are too old to have a baby.  Maybe they had their first at 45+, and are too old to take care of a baby...or maybe they just hate babies.  Single moms are not alone, just about all parents are subject to some harsh criticism.  

once, I was walking down a busy street in a nice nieghborhood with my wife and 18 mo old baby, it was hot, her little hand was slippery, and she jerked her hand out of mine and made a B line for the street...I ran and caught her, and gave her a few spanks on the Pampers.  I had an old lady in a Mercedes stop her car and say, ' Thats whats wrong with YOU people, do us a favor and dont BREED'  

man that pissed me off.  All because I was taking care of my kid.  Well, 4 kids later, I guess that I didnt heed her wisdom :)  Most people speak before they think, youll just have to understand that and let it go.

Answer 16

If they are strangers, she should flip them the bird.

If they are family/friends she should sit down and have a conversation with them about her ability to make her own choices.

And if she's a teen she should run, not walk, to her doctor for contraceptives.

Answer 17

anyone that tells her she is a bad person for being a single mom , she should tell them to **** off..