Reviews on story????

Question

Hello.

I was wondering if anybody would take some time out to read through the first four chapters of my story? Don't worry, the chapters aren't that long. I just need a bit of...reassurance I think.

I have only allowed one person I know to see it as I wanted to know what other people thought. Family and friends have been very biased in the past.

Here's the link:

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2563225/1/Outcasts

Any critical reviews or suggestions welcome.

Thank you in advance :)

Answer 1

I truly would read this if I had time, because I have the same thing going on!.  I have pretty short chapters, and hardly EVER let people I know read what I write.  And I agree, sometimes it feels like family is far to biased.   I do hope I can come back after I finish this project I'm doing for school though!  haha, THEN i can read it and give you actually critique! :)

good luck!  

Answer 2

I read the entire four chapters and was intrigued, wondering where you meant to take the story and what the mysteries would prove to be when revealed.  Since you are from the UK, your spellings and use of words differ from those of Americans.  We would say toward rather than towards, for instance, but your writing should be true to your own nationality.  Personally, I love to read novels written by British authors -- in fact, I am reading one currently.  The single worrisome sentence in your story which immediately piqued my concern was Dixie's remarking that "Twilight" is her favourite book.  That statement rouses a mental red flag in me, causing me to think that Dixie's sleep-deprived father and brother may ultimately prove to be vampires...  Is that where you mean to take the plot?  If so, you must be certain, if you are hopeful of producing a marketable novel, to write a story which is uniquely yours.  Although your writing is mature and essentially correct grammatically, you will need to edit it as there are words which require apostrophes (possessives) and sentences which are actually phrases rather than true sentences.  Your story did hold my interest, however, and I would encourage you to continue with it and would like to read your finished work.  Good luck!

Answer 3

Sorry, i couldn't be bothered reading it all but it sounds good.

Answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

I don't have any critical words for you. Keep going. Its very good and I would love to read the whole manuscript. They say the difference between writers who get published , the published ones never give up, never quit submitting their work for publication. I say go for it, you are good.   Good Luck

Answer 5

It's good so far, I'm liking it....

In chapter four you spelled Favorite, favourite It's a few paragraphs  down from the top.

Besides that I liked it. The ending to chapter four was nice :) I think the whole story was very eye-catching, so to speak. Anyway nice job.