Revised Ode to a WINDLORD. What thinkst thou?

Question

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Ode to a windlord

O eagle, you are the gale’s mighty blow!

Whose presence quakes the thunderclouds with fear

your windborne wings and flight shall drive them low

and whip the skies with vicious torrents of air

to blow the sea into a raging bed

whose roaring waves take with them lives so dear

Majestic lord! Soar up with wings outspread

And cry to your meek sky your regal law

Your piercing screech stabs all hearts with dread

before you, stout tree trunks wither to straw

and stony mountains crumble into dust

Beneath your wings, their shadows all withdraw

By Lulleh (Rid)

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Answer 1

It must be Gemini day! Me too!

Nice poem, full of light and air and exhilaration in the epic adventure style. I must dig out those leather sandals and my trusty shortsword, there's dragons about!

Answer 2

What a powerful tribute to the lord of the skies.  While in Alaska - I had a marvelous time - watching the great Bald Eagles doing some salmon fishing - it was quite a sight. You have presented their great power and mythological fantasy ♥

Answer 3

Lulleh,

Lord Byron himself would admire the picture you paint; your metrical flow in this poem is MUCH better than in earlier efforts and you have not diluted the consonance of imagery that is your greatest strength.  You are beginning to fulfill your promise.  Wonderful!

Answer 4

Nice ode! The language seems Homeric to me, and not in the bad way! (It has some of the grandeur of Homer, without the annoying, boring repetition. How many times could that guy say "neat-ankled"?)

Answer 5

That's a fabulous poem my boy. Much better than your first draft in all aspects. I'm most delighted to read this. keep writing!

Answer 6

This is really good.  You have terrific imagery; you took me into the clouds and the vicious torrents; my breath of air for I am a Gemini, the first of the Air signs.

Well done.

T.