Rhyming Poem?

Question

I have to write a rhyming poem about anything for summer school. I worked really hard on this. Is this what the teacher wants?

once i saw a tree laying down

on the ground

it made me frown

it didn't make a sound

then i looked up high

into the sky and by

a cloud i saw a fly

and she told me not to cry

and i wondered about the tree

and everything around me

when will i fall over

like a four leaf clover?

maybe if i was the sun

then i could float on forever

and be number one

and fall over never

Any advice about my poem? Thanks.

Answer 1

You did very great and your teacher will see you worked really hard on it.So give it to her with a smile and if she asks you to read it to the class ,you'll be proud just like the rest!

Answer 2

Ok first of all poems that rhyme are basically the hardest poems to make. I feel as if you are trying so hard to rhyme that it's taking away from the poem. You need to take your time with this poem and don't just right down the first thing that comes to your head. Also the moct cheesiest line iin the world is once upon a time. Even though you didn't say that you said once in the beginning of your poem. I feel like you can do much better if you put mor effort into it. I don't know how ole you are, but my feelings about this poem is that it was written by a fifth grader. Also here is another idea. Maybe the reason why it's sounding so elementary is because your topic isn't developed enough. Write about something with more meaning. I love how you talk about when you will finally croakd, but the whole tree business throws it off line. Try writing another one and start out with your topic and develope it more. Don't be afraid to let your true feelings fall out into the poem. The only way you can make a good poem is if it comes from the heart, not if some teacher forces you to do it as a summer requirement.

Answer 3

I find nothing wrong with the poem

you did a beautiful job writing it out

If you showed this to the teacher

questions maybe why did you frown

when the tree was down

Although I would have my hunch

It didn't make a sound

I am thinking of birds and the nest.

You are someone who loves nature

Answer 4

Summer is fun

It keeps us warm

Splashing in the water

Never the only one

Soft clouds with an azure background

Birds singing sweetly

Above the sun-drenched ground

Summer-noises buzzing all-around

Thirsts need quenching

Lemonade is best

Let's get a glassfull

Put our thirsts to rest

Down,down the waterslide

All of us go

Fast in rhythym

And never too slow

Lets take some pictures

Of all of this fun

Proof  that SummerHas just begun....

I wrote this poem (Titled"Summer") To help you

Hope I did??..Good-luck  :)  :)

Answer 5

I saw a Tree on the ground

A fallen tree, lying down,

Silently, Not a sound

it made me sad, made me frown.

Then I looked up to the sky

Right up high in the sky

by a cloud I saw a fly

and it told me not to cry

And I thought about the tree

and the fly or was it a flea,

and everything around me

When will it all cease to be.

Maybe If I was like the sun

centre of all, number one

then I could go on forever

but sadly I am not that clever

I returned sadly to my car

and sniffed again at the glue jar

and so drove off into a tree

and that was the end of me.

See magic

Answer 6

it was `aight. i think the teacher will like it. good luck!