Ridiculous social rule at school?

Question

My girlfriend's eleven year old daughter got a referral at school because she told two other girl's that she did not want to play with them. The teacher told my friend that in her classroom everyone had to play with everyone else. Now her daughter doesn't want to go to school because she is afraid that if she refuses to play with these girls she will get in trouble BUT these are the "mean girls" on campus and she really doesn't want to be around them. Since when does the school dictate who our children should interact with? There are several children in our neighborhood that I do not want my children associating with and that includes at school. This is my right as a parent. Isn't this teacher out of line imposing this kind of rule?

Answer 1

Not only is that ridiculous, the teacher is in need of a reality check.  She has some control issues. What you need to be doing is speaking with the principal about this "rule" and reiterate that while the teacher has the right to demand that all of the kids respect one another, she has NO right to demand that they all play together.  I would also bring it to the teacher's attention that you are planning to discuss the issue with the principal just so she's not blindsided and winds up taking her annoyance out on your child.  If that doesn't help, perhaps a formal complaint to the school board will help.  

That is utterly insane.

Answer 2

If I were your girlfriend, I would go down to that school and raise you-know-what.  That teacher has no right whatsoever to step into the role of mother and tell that child that she has to interact with certain people.

Personally, I would tell them that unless they want a lawsuit on their hands, they will remove the referral from her record and never again punish my child based on her choice to avoid certain other students.  I would also make the teacher write an apology letter to me and my child, but that's just me bringing my point home.

Answer 3

I would agree that the rule seems out of line.  Though perhaps you should talk to the teacher about it?  Most likely it is a good intentioned idea that wasn't fully thought through.  She is probably trying to create classroom unity and peace but isn't getting the outcome she was hoping for.  You won't know for sure until you speak with her directly though.  You could explain how your daughter feels bullied by these individuals and now she is afraid to go to school because she doesn't want to get in trouble for not playing with them, but if she does play with them they are mean to her.

Answer 4

And i thought it was stupid to get a referral for throwing a rock at the ground wow

Answer 5

That is wrong. You need to speak to the principal and/or teacher. This teacher cannot choose who your daughter's friends will be. She made the good decision to try to not hang out with them. Good luck!

Answer 6

I feel the teacher is out of line if he/she's trying to dictate who the child is interacting with. I'd be in that office so fast, they wouldn't know what hit them.

Answer 7

OH h**l NO! if i were the mom I'd march my a$$ right down to that school and go off on someone. I could understand if the girls were in kindergarten and trying to get them to interact, but 11. come on. that girl has every right to decide for herself who she wants to play with.

Answer 8

I will tell you what... that mom needs to go to that principal's office, with hubby in tow if she has one, and explain how her child is going to be treated. That referral needs to be taken back, and if the teacher can't respect who the student does and does not want to hang around with then the next step is straight to the school board.

Her daughter needs to know that rudeness is not acceptable, but that she is in no way required to be around kids that she thinks are mean. Period.

Also, she could mention she has a lawyer on retainer. :)

Answer 9

I think the teacher went too far.  Unless we don't know all the details.  A referral would be warranted if the girls made rude comments about the girls, or in some way said something to offend them or hurt them.  But simply refusing to play should be a child's prerrogative.

Answer 10

To impose that attitude is denying your child her basic human rights, and that is illegal.

Answer 11

yes!! I think the teacher is totally out of line!! you need to have a Parent-Teacher conference and tell this teacher exactly what you have told us....or your freind does rather....