Riding descrimination?

Question

Please help me with my problem. I think i am discriminated from my riding school by the other riders beacuase i live in a better area and can afford more lessons then them. No one is telling me new rules at the barn and I am being treated different by my instructer. She gives the expensive challenging horses to other people in my lesson who have been riding less then me! I feel excluded and i am mad!! What should i do to stop this. PS I dont act rich or mean i am a nice caring person who always helps the other people in my lesson.

Answer 1

If what you say is true, you should discuss it with the instructor, asking her why you are not being given more challenging horses to ride, and asking why you were not informed of new rules.  This kind of thing can happen anywhere you go, since if you are taking more frequent lessons than others, you'll be identified as financially well off and the stereotypes will be applied, whether or not it's fair.

If you aren't satisfied with the answers you receive from the instructor, you should probably look elsewhere.  It could just be that there are reasonable explanations and it's nothing to be concerned about.

Answer 2

If you feel that way then chances are that you are right - or at least that something is wrong! Talk to your parents and explain what you have said above (you sound responsible and not stuck up)- i have a cousin who always thought i was a brat just because i was spoilt,- it really really hurts but sometimes you cant do anything about it, she is now in her late 20's and she still doesnt like me?)

She could just be giving the challenging horses to keep the other riders on there toes and for more experience? -maybe try a little longer and see if this continues (u havent said how long this had been going on?)

you and your parents could consider the following options?

At the end of the lesson with the horse (you dont like) just ask the instructor could you please have a word in private (that way the kids wont hear you and get nasty as well) ask politely (shy tone) and say i didnt have a great ride today as it wasnt challenging enough because (.............) would you mind if i rode (.......) next time (dont be confronting! shy!) if she continues to ignore you then get out!- they arent worth your money! - (she might even say i have been giving you these horses because ............... (you might understand why then?)

getting your own horse/leasing?

talking to the instructor (your parents)?

talking to the stable/ or someone above the instructor (your parents)?

find yourself a new school?

get yourself a new instructor if others available in the school?

Or stick with it a feel miserable?

the only prob with speaking to the instructor/school is that you may cause ill feelings and more disruption/nastiness but you arent happy anyway???

good luck and you must not let people get you down because they are jeolous (just keep telling yourself you have done nothing wrong!) i know it hard but be true yourself!

best of luck!

Answer 3

i think you should talk to everyone about how you feel, it all might be a misunderstanding or something. try to get to know them because they may think your s****. but they haven't got the chance to know you yet. definately talk to you instructor because it is affecting you lessons that you are paying for.

Answer 4

Maybe the instructor thinks that since you are "wealthy", than you would be able to afford your own "expensive" horse. No offense. I would sit down with your riding instructor and tell him/her how you feel. Tell him/her that you feel that you are being disciminated and you are hurt by that. Maybe you would like to ride a well-trained or "expensive" horse once in a while, but still want to be treated as the other riders are. all the same. If nothing improves and you are not happy at that barn, find a new instructor. If their is not a local barn within reasonable distance from you, maybe buy your own horse, that fits your needs and wants, and board the horse at that barn. Find a new instructor that will come to your barn, 1 a week or however and receive lessons that way. Or have private lessons with the same trainer you are at.

Hope things get better.

Answer 5

buy your own horse and take lessons. If you are not happy move to another barn to take lessons, If your instructor is a professional she should be indifferent and not take sides, she should not be involved in drama she is the adult she should act like one.

Answer 6

This is why I love having my horses at home.  I have been at different barns and its always the drama that drives me to find a new barn.  Shame on your instructor that treats you like that.  You are paying her, she is working for you.  She is not treating the barn like a business.  Just a few hints if you want to stay.   You say you help people in your lesson,  do they ask for your help? if not don't offer.  Thats what the trainer is there for.    Riding should be fun.  Be the adult and ask the trainer if she is upset with you(since she is not being the adult).  If it's something petty, time to move on.  Anybody can say they are a trainer, but most of them don't have the qualifications.  To me if she is putting less experience riders on difficult horses she is not qualified, that is a recipe for disaster!

Answer 7

You can do one of two things:

1.  Make the best of your situation.  You can go out there and ride the less challenging and less expensive horses with pride.  If you are happy, then the other riders will be jealous of that.  If you go out there and work hard on those horses, even though they are less challenging, and you develop a bond that is really strong with them, then those other riders don't get the reaction they want.  They want you to be uncomfortable and make you feel left out.  So if you show that you are happy and you ride those horses with your heart, then they will see that and they will be jealous of that.  Work just as hard as they do.

2.  You can talk to your instructor.  You can tell her about how you feel and what you think of the whole situation.  Tell her that you feel she is treating you less important then the other riders.

And if after you talk to her and things don't change, and if option 1 doesn't work, then I would consider finding a different barn.  Is it really worth your time to put up with people like that?

Edit:  I also came up with a couple new ideas.  

You should treat the other riders like they are your friends.  Even though they are s****., just treat them like they are your friends.  So the next time you aren't told a new rule, then just say to them "if a new rule pops up, could you guys inform me?"  Just wave and smile to them occasionally.  Act like they don't bother you.  They want you to be left out, so try to include yourself when you can.

Why don't you consider getting your own horse.  Why don't you buy a horse that is challenging, and he will be all yours.

Oh, and the first post is right.  Your instructor is an adult, and she should act like one.  If she is a good instructor, then she shouldn't take sides.  So you should decide if you want to either: deal with the problem, confront he problem, or leave the problem completly.

Answer 8

Become caustic. Tell your instructor that if you had wanted this type of riding experience you'd have taken a quarter to the supermarket and ridden their horse. Demand someone else ride "Nellie Belle" and that you be given a challenging horse. I'm sure they'll oblige you.

Answer 9

yeah i had the same problem..i just switched barns to a more wealthier area where i wasn't discriminated against...it's to do with money and in their heads they have a warped perception of you and create an unreal notion of you. just don't take it on board and switch barns.