Right. Sensible advice about my child who says there's a ghost?

Question

Ok...I am not someone who belives in things that go bump in the night etc. but my three (nearly 4) year old is complaining of ladies that "pop out of the wall" in her room...she first started talking about them this time last year when she was nearly 3...apparently she says she sees them when she is awake in her room...not only in the night but now and then in the day. She says they have brown faces and wear "pink things" on their heads...? Also she says they ask her for her toys...what the heck!? I tell her it is a dream...and she is adamant that she is awake when they appear, she knows what a bad dream is and seems able to tell me when she has those..so what is this all about? I dont know what to say to her anymore as I keep repeating that they are not real and she looks at me like Im crazy and tells me they are because they keep "popping out"...just their heads apparently...we are in the U.K. and this house was built only 12 years ago...but it was built on the site of the old city

Answer 1

If you go to church you could have the pastor or someone talk to your daughter. They can tell her ghosts aren't real and the only spirit is the Holy Spirit.

Answer 2

children are highly perspective, and they don't know what they see cannot be real, she sees people and believes they are real, it is quite possible if you say it was workhouse and hospital, that they are from there. just reassure her they are friendly.

when i worked in a nursery  a 2.5 yr old saw "the ladies" every Friday at 12.15, he couldn't tell time we even took the clock down, and it was always the same time, every week, he always described them, the nursery was on a old church/school grounds, it freaked us out a bit, but he was not worried, just wanted to know where they were going.

Answer 3

just believe that to her these things seem real though i don't believe myself a child's imagination can seem real to them so tell her they are nice and try to change the way she sees them from something to be scared of to something she is lucky to have (only special girls see these nice ladies) feel lucky as a good imagination is a sign of intelligence she will probably grow out of it in time and laugh about it as she gets older if it worries you though see your GP they might offer some sort of counselling or something

Answer 4

eeek! they say children can be highly perceptive. But also they have a vivid imagination and can be very convincing. my grandson swore there was a princess caroline living in my fireplace who whistled tunes to him. that was when he had just turned 3, now he is nearly 4 he doesnt remember this at all.

Try not to worry, maybe read her calming stories at bedtime and try not to frighten yourself! I know it can be scary - that is the power of the imagination.

Best of British to you x

Answer 5

Did anything in her life change a year ago? this may be the stem of the issue because ghosts aren't real.  Does she see them every night? can you sleep in her bed with her for the night and get her to tell you when she sees them?

Answer 6

I am a spiritualist and my children are aware of spirit so are not scared; it is a part of our lives.  For you however I would perhaps tell your daughter that they are her angels watching over her and saying hello.  Make it clear to her as well that if she does not want them  there she can just ask them to leave, they will not be offended.

Children are more susceptible to spirit as they haven't got an adults forced ideals on the subject.  There is no such thing as bad spirit; however if you are concerned speak to your local Spiritualist Church and they will offer positive advice for you.

Good luck all is fine.

In love and light xxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 7

If they're not scaring her don't worry about it. I'm not sure if it will work the same but when I was little I used to have bad dreams so my mum bought me a special teddy bear and told me that if I hugged it every night before I went to sleep he'd make the bad dreams go away. It worked because I really believed it would, so you could try doing the same and telling your daughter the bear will make the people go away.

Answer 8

Children have incredible imaginations and so that is likely all this is. She could very well be dreaming it and the fact that she is so insistant she is awake is simply because the dream is taking place in her room with her dreaming she is sitting up in bed seeing familiar things and watching these things come out the wall. Obviously she can tell you about other bad dreams because assumedly these take place in other settings so when she wakes up in bed she is aware that they are a dream. If she is dreaming about being in her room then she isn't going to be as aware of falling asleep and waking up.

As for seeing them in the day, if she has had this dream serveral times her imagination is now going to be recreating them in the day. Eventually she will probably grow out of it. If you just reassure her that they aren't real and can't hurt her. Maybe you could try sleeping with her in her room one night (make it out like a camping adventure or something so she doesn't associate with these things she describes) just to set your own mind at rest about the whole thing.

Answer 9

you need to just listen to your daughter, she obviously sees someone/something, as long as she is not scared, just let her tell you about them...whether we believe or not there are some unexplainable experiences out there, and your daughter needs to know you believe her, or she will not tell you anything else! maybe she is just sensitive to entities/spirits around that we are not as adults, as long as there is nothing bad happening then i would just...listen

Answer 10

If she is not really upset by this I would leave well alone, or swap bedrooms.

If you do have a haunting, it will probably follow her around the house, so after this take steps to see what it could be, a swift exorcism should settle things down.

Answer 11

I hear what your saying my daughter went through the same thing when she was around that age, she had two friends who looked like pilgrims she said they would ask her to do naughty things like wet the bed. We didnt think it was much until one night i put a cruxifix around her neck and she told me that her friends told her to take it off because they didnt like it.

She seemed to be getting worse and doing naughty things until one day we had to get the house blessed and we didnt hear from her friends again.

However saying that, many kids have imaginary friends and are perceptive to many things, but it seems to me that your house may have some sort of earth bound spirits living in there, maybe it would be a wise idea to do abit of research on the house and see what history if any the holds.

Other than that i would recommend you call a priest to house and  get it blessed, I myself was a skeptic and didnt believe in ghosts but since experiencing what happened with my daughter i am inlclined to believe there could be something in your house.

Answer 12

Ahh this is scary!  I don't know what you tell a 4 year old!  If I was in your situation, I would probably keep telling her that they aren't real... kids have wild imaginations!

Answer 13

I can't remember how old I was but I know I was young and I could 'see' shapes in my bedroom at night that were cartoon scoobydoo (so obviously imagination not ghosts) but they were very real looking to my mind!

However I also have seen a real ghost so I know they too exist (oh dear, I'm probably making myself sound weird!). But I'd go with the former, that they're her imagination taking shape. She may not be asleep but explain to her about how, like dreams, day dreams can seem very real too. Maybe ask her to do something like change the colour of the pink things on their heads? If she can do that then that proves its her will and you can explain to her that she has the control over what she see's.

Answer 14

hmm scary,try reading to her until she is asleep and leave a little light on.sorry i am not much use.if things dont improve then find another house.

Answer 15

over active imagination, it's similar to kids who have imagianery friends, in her head these things are very real even though they certainly do not actually exist. It's not anything to worry about she will forget them as she gets older.

Answer 16

When I lived on the Campus of my university, my then 3 year old daughter use to tell me that the boy in the kitchen scared her.  She did that a couple of times, then once, she told me the little girl under her bed was scaring her.  I just simply told her that there was no boy, or girl. She eventually grew out of it.

Answer 17

Sorry - this is going to be a long one.

I don't believe in ghosts  - in my circumstances that would be too much to handle.

However, I belong to a Yahoo group called 'Rainbows'.  The leukaemia my son had is very rare.  There are around four cases per year in the UK so there are not many people around who have been through what I have.  Anyway, there are about 7 of us in the group who are in regular contact and we share experiences, including our beliefs.

One of the children was called Jordan and he was mad on marbles.  He had a big jar of them which he loved.  Even now, four years after he died, his mum finds marbles in the house.

She will go in a drawer and find a marble - even though she tidied the drawer a week before.  She will put on a shoe and find a marble or find one in her coat pocket.

She in convinced these are 'messages'.  For my mind it is wishful thinking/coincidence and there has to be a rational explanation.  

Nothing like this ever happens to me - maybe this is because I'd freak if it did.  Maybe I am not open-minded enough to such things, I really do not know but the explanation that best suits my own somewhat cynical mind is that some of us have such a very vivid imagination that we can see things or conjur things up to such an extent that we believe them ourselves and can convince those around us they are true.

Think about Derren Brown and what he can do with the mind.    

I don't think the things your daughter sees are real but I don't think she is 'lying'.  She just has an amazing mind.

Answer 18

When I was that age I was convinced there was a big dog who came out of the wall and licked my hand, a blue man under the bed and a strange tall girl who materialised out of the bedroom curtains.

My mum just told me that there was no such thing and it was my imagination. Worked fine, I soon learnt to just dismiss them, and they disappeared.

Answer 19

I don't know.  There is a show on A&E here in the US that talks about children who can see ghosts.  I've never watched it, but supposedly it's possible.

Sure seems like she belives it.  Could you have her draw pictures of the women she sees?  I would ask more and more questions.  If she is making it up, she will eventually stop it.  If not, at least you have some more information.

Answer 20

Shes not got the idea from tv of even Monsters Inc.

Ask the local vicar priest to bless te house i think that would help you too..good luck

Answer 21

Well this could be the paranormal, remember this may not be ghosts as paranormal basically means stuff we can not explain. It could also be something the doctor can help her out with as it could be a variety of things wrong with her that make her see things. This does not mean she is insane but she could even have a simple fungal infection!! If you get her seen by a doctor then they can try to work out what is wrong, they may send her to a parapsychologist or child psychologist. Due to her age prob a child one but if this does not  work you could find a parapsychologist yourself as they will be able to find out if she is lying or if they are part of her unconscious mind (like an imaginary friend). If you have no luck with this then maybe try to get a Vicar or someone like that in who deals with the paranormal and even if there are no such thing as ghosts going through the steps of getting rid of them may sort out the psychological reasonings behind your daughter seeing them. They may even keep you at rest. But there may be such things as ghosts and children are seen more sensitive to the paranormal anyway so she may grow out of it or she may just have a gift you should be proud of. But like i said....it could be many things and the doctor the best place to go!

Answer 22

It's definitely possible, indeed in a child's simplistic view probable.

Firstly ask yourself are you actually bothered, it's not like they are doing you or your family any harm is it.

If you are, walk into your nearest church, synagogue or mosque and ask for the priest to conduct a blessing of the property.

Funny thing about ghosts; how come every religion offers this service if they don't exist :0)

That should solve things, but the religious person of your choice can do more if required. And you don't have to be religious, they do it free because they are that way inclined.

Answer 23

i have met some kids and adults that can actually see ghosts. i do not know actually if im gonna believe them but they seem telling the truth.

some of the adults told me that they used to see ghosts but it just ended.some do not kow when,some when they were teenagers already and doing a lot of stuff already.

so maybe as of now, the best thing to do is listen to your kid. ask her everything that she sees and what they are telling her.if it is consistent to one another then maybe she is telling the truth but if it is not, maybe its just part of a child's imagination.

i would say your life would be quite pretty interesting..

Answer 24

When I was younger i used to see hundreds of people walking past my bed every night with umbrellas and briefcases and stuff and every now and then one person would stop stare at me and walk right up to my face and stare at me for ages. I used to be frozen nd just stare staight back into there eyes but once i switched bedrooms it all stopped....

I still dont like the dark very much thou.. lol

But as long as their not harming your daughter I suppose you dont have to worry too much...

Just so as you know i am quite normal nd not some freak who see's ppl...   :-)

Answer 25

I have never heard of anyone being really hurt by ghosts, other than in movies! Don't be woried, I liked the idea of making friends with them. I wonder what the pink things are on their heads???? Ask your daughter to draw them, itmight help unravel the mystery.

I myself have seen ghosts as an adult - for a laugh we went on a ghost hunting evening, never thought I would see anything - I actually walked into a ghost leaning against the wall watching what was going on. I said sorry but by the time  I got to the 'rry' in sorry he was gone. I didn't spook me, I thought it was amazing. On later investigations (I got hooked) I have heard and felt stuff and seen lights move up a darkened staircase where there were no windows. I have never felt threatened.

I sound likea right freak now, maybe I am.

Hope you get sorted.

Answer 26

My son has seen my Grandfather and he died while I was pregers for my son. My son described my Grandfather totaly. This was weird becouse son is autistic and never looks at people or describes them. I like to think he did see Grandpa holding my arm, My son is more talkative when he says grandpa is around.

See You are not weird he he. But I belive in God heaven .... But I do also think that young children see things we have been tought not to.

Also you could get a spray bottle and fill it with water make a tag for the out side saying gohst protection. Tell her it will keep her safe.

Answer 27

i was told by my mum afew years ago i told her when i was 5 that i knew a man who mached the description of my great granddad who died when i was a few months old  i have no idea what she sees but try to get a description does she know anyone who died weired mabey she has a 6th sence i dont beleve in ghosts eather

Answer 28

Regardless of whether or not you believe her, all you can do is comfort her.  Actually the best thing to do would be to 'play along' to at least give her the confidence that you believe what she's telling you and then say something along the lines of "I know these ladies keep bothering you.  Politely let them know it's your bedtime/time for you to play by yourself and."

True story:  My soon-to-be husband was very young when he would randomly walk into his parent's garage and talk to the 'man who was hanging from the ceiling'.  He told his parents repeatedly that he was there and that he was sad and angry but he was trying to be his friend and help him be happy.  His parents did some research - turns out the couple who lived there ages ago had some problems and the husband hung himself in the garage.  Ew.  Scary.  I now believe children and think that maybe, just maybe they have a keener sense than we do because we're all caught up in 'grown up to-dos'.

Marcus:  Nice point about the religious service offerings if ghosts and beings don't exist.  Why ARE they trained in exorcism and property blessings? Hmmm...  Right.  Now we're just frightening her.

Answer 29

I'm undecided on the whole super-natural phenomenon...however, it's possible that you're daughter IS seeing things...my daughter thinks there are monsters in her room, and every night, either me or my husband have to go in there and "take" them out. My daughter (who is 3.5 years) also has imaginary friends. Children's minds are very active. I wouldn't try to tell her that she is wrong, that she isn't seeing what she says.

My daughter also got the whole monster thing from the childrens movie Monster's Inc. Has your daughter seen a movie, or something similar to what she describes?

Good luck, it's a phase that will most likely pass with time.

Answer 30

As a child I saw a lot more than I do now.  My mother would get upset and eventually I stopped telling her about it.  Don't overreact and don't tell her they are not real because to her they are and its not like she is delusional (which you aren't supposed to feed into).  Truthfully most kids are sensitive and do grow out of it.  Adults just choose not to see things that are unexplainable.  You can tell her they are there to protect her, or she can tell them to go home, or they are her friends and she can talk to them.  The spray bottle is a good idea, I have heard of that before.  Its hard to believe in something that is against the norm and you haven't experienced before.  

This ability has saved my life on 2 occassions.  Here is one.  I was working night shift at the psych hospital.  It was x-mas weekend the 23rd.  We were overstaffed.  Since I was 8 months pregnant I was able to leave mid-shift at 3:30 am.  I felt fine and left.  I got into my car and my grandmother was waiting for me, sitting in the passenger seat.  She had died 7 years before and this was the first time I saw her.  She was super young, and wearing clothes of the 1960's.  She had on cat rimmed glasses, a brown turtleneck sweater and plaid pants, hair was a beehive.  She said, everything will be ok but you need to go to the hospital, something is wrong and the baby needs to be born.  I said ok let me run in and call, she said no time go now.  So I went.  The hospital was eerily empty, nobody waiting to be seen.  Maybe that's because it was a holiday weekend but it is very unusual to send home extra staff in the middle of the night either.  So I get there and they bring me right in and ask my chief complaint.  Well I don't have one and I know better than to tell the truth, it would only get me a psych consult.  So I say I don't feel right, intuition, I think something is wrong.  They didn't even get me a gown.  The nurse said ok lets check the heartrate, using a doppler externally, no leave your jeans on.  Ok.  She checks and I am getting annoyed, she moves the gel and doppler to several spots and steps out of the room.  10 seconds later my room is filled with 3 staff and everything happened fast.  I heard a code.  I didn't realize the code was me until 30 seconds later now there are 12 people in the room, I notice by the uniforms that there are ER people, L&D, people, maternity people.  I still didn't get it, and I am a nurse.  I thought there was a fire and I was being moved to another wing.  As they cut my clothes off of me I find out my baby has a heartrate of 50. I knew that anything under 110 was an emergency.  I immediately thought there is no way a dozen people are here to save a baby they are here to save me too.  They put in an IV, called for blood transfusion, told me I can't call anybody, the anesthetist comes in starts knocking me out, I am on oxygen being put under general anesthesia which I know only happens once a month.  My son was delivered 10 minutes after I walked through the door at 3:50am.  He went to NICU and has some delays from hypoxia.  The doc that delivered was a resident and she told me that she was afraid that she was going to lose both of us.  The placenta had abrupted and I was hemmorhaging (sp?)and my abdomen was full of blood.  The doc said my son wouldn't have made it another hour, I wouldn't have made it till the end of my shift.  If I had gone home and slept, I wouldn't have woken up.

Answer 31

My younger daughter saw a woman in the walls with a shopping trolley and 2 chidren. So we told her they were there to protect her when she was asleep and be friends when she was awake. We suggested that she talk to them and make friends. Apart from occasional updates on their progress and friendship she was no longer scared or worried but really very pleased with her new family. I don't know if they were real ghosts or imaginary but it doesn't matter because they are real to her. Treat them as imaginary friends if you can't believe in ghosts.