Right here we go riders...?

Question

So he's a f#ckwit. And I'm not much better!

Love him with all my heart. Have done since I first met him 12 years ago. We were together off and on and it was always fantastic, but we were both dumbasses and never did anything properly. I moved away, had a few years with no contact, I had kids with someone else, we split up, blah, blah, long story... then got it together again with him 6 months ago. And when we're together it is brilliant - like out of this world brilliant! It always was. Sometimes think we are part of the same person..

But It's likely it's never going to be a "proper" relationship between us. He's made it clear he can't give me that commitment and it is always on his terms. I know I'll never be able to depend on him. And I don't mean that he'd being playing around, he's a bit of a loser - hee hee, but he's not a b@stard!

Now that's fine - most of the time. I have my own life too and I like my own space and I have my kids. But every now and then it gets too much and I feel like I don't know if I'm coming or going. And I tell him to forget it. And I just have. Again.

But I want him.

What do I do?

Obviously, with having kids I have to think of more than just my feelings. (He's great with them btw).

So? Try to move on and find someone who will give me stability, with whom I'll always know where I stand?

Or hold my breath, give this a run and see what the future brings?

Answer 1

well he sounds like you are going today LOL.  Love is crazy.  You need to stablize you first.  He sounds like a psychopath.  I don't know him, but for him to deal with you.....it's NOT sane.  B/c you are not in your right state of mind.  A mother should NOT be dealing with a man that's not of "their" best interest.  In one day out next week type of stuff is old new.  Work on you...and love those kids.  You left him 12 yrs ago and he is still at that age you left him at.  Let sleeping dogs lay

Answer 2

So do the good times outweigh the bad?

whatever decision you make there will always be what ifs?

Like i said sweetie its all part of growing up an being british!

If I was in the same situation i'd give it a shot at least then you can say you tried!

Answer 3

Unless you enjoy walkjng on eggshells or are a m*******t, this is not the right man for you.

Answer 4

Think you really need to get a life!

Answer 5

I don't know why you would want to be with someone who in your own words told you that they can't offer you a commitment.  He is telling you that he can't give you the future you want.  I think that its time to move on.  Try being single for the time being and enjoy life with your kids.  You don't need a man to be happy.

Answer 6

Sounds like hes immature and needs to grow up tell him you have children and him coming when he wants no commitment everything on his terms isnt the relationship you want and could confuse the kids tell him either grow up or forget your number

Answer 7

The office of 'wife is both high and demanding... especially in the are of loyalty...  

Answer 8

FUTURE you are already in the future it has been 12 yrs when you look around you are going to be old and gray and still waiting.