Risking it all?? Please help!!?

Question

Logic marriage or risking everything for my soul-mate?

I am married for 5 years, no children. The usual ups and downs, but my wife loves me and we have a good life! I could live with my wife for the rest of my life I guess! We love each other and I would not cheat or hurt her! BUT I met this woman on a business trip last week. We connected straight away on a level I did never experience before! I felt like a teenager, could not sleep properly, and could not wait every morning to see her again. During this week, nothing happened, but I am sure she felt similar about me! We talked for hours and had a lot of fun! It seems like we are made for each other. Many things in common, same interests, and even other people said they could feel the tension between us! Now we live in different countries and would not see each other again for a year. She has a boyfriend, she loves him and has a good life on her own!

The fact is we do not need each other. We both have our separate lives, and are happy!

Here is the thing: But what if we are really supposed to be together, should we risk to loose everything, hurt and disappoint a lot of people? Despite all alarm bells in my mind, the 999 reasons why it would be a stupid idea, my heart says something else. Are you supposed to give it all for your soul-mate? I am afraid that if we do nothing, I will be asking myself before I die: "What would have been?". Of course, time will pass, and if we stop contact the feelings will go away. I am sure I met her for a very good reason! I was more or less happy before, but now I question my entire life! I am afraid to meet her again, maybe her feelings already left or are not that strong, and she thinks I am an a**hole if I ask her out while I am married? I already feel bad enough to write secret mails and even think about this other woman!! Or what if it really happens, she falls into my arms, I do not cheat on my wife! It is down to the ultimate question: Be good and be safe, or be who you want to be and take the risks?

Is this just all too crazy? Too good to be true?

Answer 1

be contended with your wife whole hearted as she is your sole mate and the relationship is sacred and you must be loyal to each other.forget the past and lead a good life. best of luck.  

Answer 2

You don't know this woman. For all you know she could be an ax murderer. You know your wife and you say you love her. Why leave a good relationship for an infatuation? This other chick may have some weird disease or any number of things. Not to mention what this would do to your wife. Remember, til death do us part.  

Answer 3

What if . .the same happend to your wife and one day you come to know that this is what happend in her past.... hmm. .all these are magic of mind..just stick with one thought... have a good life with your wife.. or take risk ..loose everything after you spend good time with your gf....

Answer 4

Do whatever you want to do! You'll only pass by this life ONCE so better try everything that is possible to try. Haha.

Answer 5

How can you expect anyone to answer this question for you?

No one is going to know your exact situation, you'll probably end up with a range of answers from "@#$% her brains out." to "God punishes the greedy and lusty."

Want my advice?  Do what makes you happy, but remember that no matter what, you have to live with the choices you make.

Helpful?  Not really... Do what YOU have to do, not what other people think is romantic or smart.

Answer 6

that's a pretty tough situation.. in the first place you said you were happy with your wife and that you love her. PERIOD. i guess that's more than enough to keep the relationship. your "soulmate" has her own life as well.. maybe it was just a feeling which will fade in time..let her be happy with her own life..

don't ruin the beautiful rose(your wife), cherish her and lover her more...

Answer 7

Your making a mountain out of a mole hill. Did she tell you that she wanted to leave her boyfriend for you? ( Probally Not ). If you would try to connect the same way with your wife like you did with her, how would your marriage be then? Most people think that when they are married, they are married to their soul-mate already. The cheaters however, try to justify reasons and look for reasons to leave their spouse for this mystical person thats suppose to be their soul-mate, which is what your trying to do. You just want reasurrance from the other cheaters out there in internet land to tell you it's OK to dump your wife and chase something that's not there. I would think just having her being a friend would be good enough for me, but that's just how I think. What I believe in is my Wife and if I didn't believe in her, I wouldn't have married her in the first place. Sounds to me like your just a lazy piece of c**p who doesn't want to put any effort in your marriage and want to blame it all on the idea or thought that your wife isn't your soul-mate. You get what you put into a marriage and most couples forget that their a reflection of each other. Chances are while you were gone, she met mister wonderful and is trying to figure out how to dump your ***. God has plans for all of us and h**l to pay for those who don't follow his instructions. It's that plain and simple ! If you want to risk what you have with your wife and chase some dumb idea or feeling you have, go ahead. It's not my life and I really don't care one way or the other. I know from experience what I'm talking about and from all the screwed up and messed up couples I've seen. Most of the time it ends up way worse for the partner who wanted to leave in the first place. My ex-wife did the same thing your wanting to do. Now after many boyfriends, a marriage and more boyfriends she starting to get the picture about what I was talking about. You really need to get a grip on reality. If you want to live in fantacy land, I have some Uni-Corns for sale. Just send me $10,000 cash and I'll have them fly over to your place and then you can fly over seas to be with your soul-mate.

Answer 8

Why would you give up your marriage on a possible fleeting romance? You have absolutely no idea that any relationship with this new woman would even work out.  Infatuation and lust only last for awhile at the beginning of a relationship... then the mature love sets in.  At that phase, many feel they have "lost that feeling" and end up leaving because they feel the magic is gone.  You would be giving up a lot for a relationship that you have no idea would even work... think about it.

Answer 9

Yes, this is all too crazy. Yes this is too good to be true.

You've just had a fleeting lust and a brief encounter and felt some love. She seems perfect and your soulmate, chances are, once you have left your partner, and she has left hers, and one of you has moved over to the other's country to be together you will find out that she is not your soulmate after all.  You cannot continue with this.  Let her go, even though your heart will ache. Do not cheat on your wife. Do not continue to write secret emails, that is a form of cheating.

I am sorry, but if you do love your wife - and you did seem happy with her until this moment - you need to be respectful to her.

Answer 10

You've already cheated on your wife by letting yourself have these feelings for another woman. Maybe you just don't love your wife like you thought you did. Or this is just an infatuation for this other woman. There's probably something missing in your marriage that you're looking elsewhere. You need to work on your marriage if you really love your wife.

Answer 11

Ah yes another life death, love hate question. It is for the simple reason of course over time man has searched for the one love of his life(same with women) But do we honestly find it? I think we settle for what we think is best not thinking in term's of the grand scheme of things hoping it will all be ok for us later on. However in terms of this one special condition i think you should, there are some suttleties to the rules of course. If you do infact don't want to lay on your death bed wondering what could have been maybe you should, but the only way to be so sure that this would not be considered cheating is to tell your wife first of course. Then we have the problem of meeting her agian, ah.. what if she doesn't feel for me the same? well that is a major problem that can't be solved but somehow i think i know ( if what you are saying is true) she will be more than happy to see you agian and that you will both be very content with each other and have a realationship like no other you have had before. Of course what you previously said must be true. But hey what do i know im 15 =)