Rsvp with guest when Guest was not invited.?

Question

All my single friends know that I cannot have them invite a guest to my wedding since we are a young couple paying for the wedding alone. All single guest with add another 20 people to the list. All of my fiances single friends are responding with plus oe when the invite just printed their name. I KNOW everyone will say etiquette says and guest but WE DONT HAVE MONEY FOR RAMDOM GUESTS. Some people have b/f or g/f and are allowed to bring if they are enagged or living together but the rest, this is ridiculous. That would be so bad if all my fiances friends brought guest and i told mine not to what do i do?

PLease help!

Answer 1

You should only invite partners for those in a relationship. I don't think you need to invite guests for single people. Why would you want people you don't even know at your wedding?

I think your fiance should call them and say something like, "We're really glad you can make it to the wedding but unfortunately as we're on a really tight budget we won't be able to invite ____(guest's name). We hope you understand."

If you allow plus one's for some guests and not others it just causes resentment- have the same rule for everyone.  

Answer 2

Call them and politely explain that while you wish you could allow guests for everyone, you cannot accommodate extra guests. If the venue is small, blame it on that. If not, admit that its because of the budget.

While you are supposed to allow for guests, they will hopefully know someone there. If not, they can either manage for a few hours or politely decline. Adding on uninvited guests is incredibly rude. If they get upset, apologize and ask if they would still like to attend.

Answer 3

You're only obligated to invite significant others (married, engaged, living together) of your invited guests. You'll have to call the guests who rudely took it upon themselves to "pencil in" their uninvited guest's name to let them know that, unfortunately, you're not able to include another guest.

Answer 4

You need to be careful here.  I think you can't let your Fi have all his friend's have dates and not allow your friends.  Why the double standard?

Also, be super careful with who deem worthy of an invite and not worthy.   You said you only want to invite people engaged, married or living together.  But, do any of your friends have long-term serious relationships that just don't' happen to fall into the category?

My boyfriend and I would not fit your standards.  We've been together for 4 years, we aren't engaged and we don't live together.  So, if I were your good friend, does that mean I don't get to bring my date because I don't fit a "definition" or a certain "living arrangement"   Our relationship is as serious as any couple who is living together, right now we just can't be in that situation.  But, does that mean he gets excluded.

If you are going to invite some people with guests, do so carefully!!!  You don't want to offend anyone who truly means the world to you, because they didn't fit your "standard" and you decided their relationship didn't consitute as serious because they aren't engaged, married or living together.

Doubt check these people who RSVPed with dates.  Are these serious relationships you  other looked?  If so, I think they should be allowed to bring their date.  If they are a gf/bf du jour, call them back and explain there invite was for one person.  But, again, be careful you're not excluding anyones important significant other.

Answer 5

Etiquette does not necessarily say and guest is allowed. You have to call them up and say, I am sorry, none of our single friends are bringing guests other than those who are in committed relationships. Does this change your response to whether you can come?

Answer 6

Have him call his friends and explain. It's best just to be honest and get it out of the way. They will understand when it's their turn to get married that WEDDINGS ARE EXPENSIVE!!

Congrats and good luck.

Answer 7

It is totally fine to NOT invite guests you don't know, especially if they are just tag along.  Unfortunately you are the one that has to explain the etiquette rules to your rude guests that have added random people to the guest list.

Just call them and explain the situation.  

"Hi ___________, I just received you RSVP in the mail, thanks for getting that back before the date by the way, waiting for the late ones is a pain!  I noticed you added an additional name to your RSVP.  Unfortunately (the venue and) our budget doesn't have room for any additional guests.  I know it seems like it's just one extra person, but there were quite a few singles invited, so we need to have an across the board rule to keep it fair and the costs reasonable.  I hope you can understand.  We really look forward to to seeing you at our wedding!"

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Call them all up and tell them No extra guests please,thats why I didnt put it on the RSVP card.

Answer 9

Your fiance needs to talk to his friends and tell them the + one is not invited. Be prepared though because you'll find many will say they will not come then if the flavor of the week cannot come. It's a choice you make.

Answer 10

Put your foot down now & get your fiance to ring & explain that guests are not invited.

Answer 11

Either call them or write them a gracious note, telling them that you are so happy they can attend the wedding. However, you can't handle extra people and are sorry that they won't be able to bring any extra guests. And I'd tell both your friends and your fiance's friends. It's only fair if it applies to both.