Rude grandma...how should i deal with this?

Question

She is in her early 80s and i know she is old and all but she is just very harsh sometimes about what she says to people. When i was younger, i used to be obese and my grandma was like " d**n, you need to lose some weight" and it made me VERY self conscious about my weight ever since, and throughout the years, i lost a ton of weight and now i am normal but she keeps on saying i am way too overweight and i am getting sick of it. She calls my mother a self-fish ***** and sometimes my mom gets really frustrated with the way she acts to her and i feel bad. My grandma always calls my sister a rude child because she hangs out with her friends "too much" when she doesn't and when we confront her about things like this, she gets furious and we have to let her win or she keeps going at it forever. How should i act the next time she does these things? For the past years i have been very quiet about and just let it pass by but it's really pissing me off now. Whats a good assertive way to act, but will let her know how badly she treats us at the same time?

Answer 1

hearts is right, its just something you have to deal with when people get older. my grama is 75, she lives with my mom, and i live next door so i help her take care of her so she can have some free time and whatnot, me and grama were always very close, i used to stay with her part of the time growing  up, just because i wanted to. but now that shes 75, shes diabetic and a heart patient, and she seems alot of times to have some sort of problems setting in in the mental department, like her mind is slipping. but shes in pain alot of the time as well, and tells us she is basically tired of living and wishes it would hurry up and be over for her. i feel so bad for her. but anyway, while all this is going on,...gramas getting meaner and meaner as it goes along, all we can do is nod our heads and go on with our business, tell her we agree with her and let it go, because we know she doesnt mean most of what she says anymore, hang in there and try to make gramas last years as enjoyable as possible,she doesnt have too many left, i know its hard, but you will wish you had  in the long run.  

Answer 2

wait it out...her death is merely right around the corner..Or should i say Coroner.Mwhwahahahahaha

Answer 3

Tell her that you appreciate her opinion, and there is truth in everything she says, but that it hurts your feelings when she phrases things so harshly.  Tell her how hard you worked to lose weight, but when she still calles you fat it hurts.  She'll probably call you a baby or something, but maybe after thinking about it for a while she'll get a clue.

All my grandmas have been deceased for a long time now, I would do anything to get them back.  Treasure her while you still have her.  I'm sure she has some good qualities, if she didn't your mom would have moved far far away from her a long time ago.

Answer 4

tell her politely, respectfully, how you feel the next time she says something inappropriate

Ask her to apologise, or explain, very civilized, that you will have to leave

btw, you're not in her will are you?

BE polite, no shouting, but respectfully express your opinion

Answer 5

~~Aloha Jinster...Dealing with an elderly Parent or Grandparent can be very difficult and frustrating even hurtful at times...your Gramma sounds a bit aggressive. Next time she says sometning hurtful, say   "You know Gramma I love you and respect you but I DON'T love nor Respect the way you talk to me...you say hateful as well as Hurtful things that I won't listen to...so from now on I would appreciate if you would speak kindly to myself,my MOM and my Sister, that way we can ALL enjoy each others Company." Say this respectfully and kindly and leave it at that.  I know you are frustrated...just remember she IS in her 80's and a little Dementia may have set lately OR she MAY just be a little cranky and mean...some people are that way...whatever it may be she is getting up there in age and Won't be around forever...so try to appreciate her as much as possible while she is here~~Aloha~~Michelle~~

Answer 6

My grandma used to say the same things. And tell me that my hair was like straw and she'd tip me upside down and use me like a broom. Then she got alzheimers, forgot wtf a broom was and died...

Karma is a *****.

Answer 7

You have to just ignore her.  She is clearly set in her ways and nothing anyone says or does is going to change that.  As hard as it is just let it go in one ear and out the other.  She is not going to be around for many more years so it is not worth creating a battle between the family at this point. Just look at it as something you will joke about when she passes. Again, I know it is hard, but just let her be and ignore her and just keep telling her ok.  If you tell her ok, she won't have much else to say. Don't let her get to you.  There is alot more stuff in the world to be stressed about then your grandma being rude. Good Luck!

Answer 8

make her watch 2 girls one cup, film it and put it on youtube, wouldnt be the only one!