Rules for teenagers living @ home-I'm on the verge of making my 18y/o son leave & it's absolutely breaking my

Question

heart! I'm a single mom & feel like he basically doesn't respect me. It's better when I'm consistent & calm, but sometimes it's difficult to maintain that in some of the circumstances I've been in. I also have a young daughter, & feel like I have to concentrate more on her now, & that I've done all I can for him. I feel like my choices are limited in what I can do. I've not been able to afford to give them many extras, but mostly enough to meet their basic needs (food, shelter, love, which he apparently doesn't see as important enough to be appreciative). He still has another yr of hs & I'm afraid if I kick him out, he may not finish. I do NOT want 2 kick him out, but, I'm so tired of being stressed out & walked on. Any1 been there/done that, & gotten through it? I wanted to see what may/not have worked 4 any1. Do they eventually realize the sacrfices u make 4 them? I need 2 develop more concrete rules & consequences (it's been difficult, esp 4 his age now). Any suggestions? Thx.

Answer 1

respect works both ways, so be sure that you have been and are modeling the behaviors you want him to have.  once a child turns 18 yrs, he is a legal adult and responsible for himself.  be sure that you have provided him with the tools to become a successful adult.  get some counseling and spend more time listening to your children.

Answer 2

I tell others.. learn from my mistakes...

NO do NOT kick him out.. you are right about him maybe not finishing high school if you do..

DO NOT yell back if he starts yelling at you..

Somethings work for some teens some things do not...I say find out what ever works and STICK to it. DO NOT cave...DO NOT give in..

even tho his is almost 18, you still need to focus on him too.  his actions maybe be simply that he is feeling left out..as if his sister is more important.  

DO NOT feel bad if you can only give him the basic.  sometimes that is all we can do.

Him being almost 18 he CAN and SHOULD work to give himself the extras..

NO your choices are not limited cause he is almost 18.. It is still YOUR house and YOUR rules...

Answer 3

well, amybe kicking him out as a junior may not be the best idea yet. the last thing you want him to be is a college drop out. i know that teens really are a handful and rules sometimes just don't work. i doubt he will ever truly see your sacrifices until he himself becomes a parent. but don't worry, he will get it one day. if your planning to kick him out, let him know that you love him and the reason you are kicking him out in the first place. and, if you are planning on kicking him out, just make sure he has somewhere to go.

as for your daughter, as long as she still feels loved, i don't think it will be a big problem. one thing you don't want to lose with her is good communication, or at least, some communication. (it shows that u care)

i know, mothers never really signed up for this, but just be patient, and God will help you get through this, no matter how stressful it may be. best of luck.

Answer 4

i was kicked out of my moms house for being late getting home and such the summer i turned 18. i spent almost everynight out with some british guys that had come into the area to train with our marines back in 04. the final straw was when i got home at 430 am. my mom already had my bags packed and helped me put them in my car. she went with me to transfer the cell phone and title into my name. i lived in my car for about 2 weeks when my bff's mom saw me at a store and had me move in with her, i then moved in with my brother(we got a pladce together) and i starte4d my senior year of highschool, was dating an awesome guy, i met a guy i thought was better, broke up with randy, started dating john, got pregnant while i was in my senior year of school and dropped ou tin january of 05. i had kylie in july 05, went and got my ged when she was 9 months old, then went back and got 2 cna certificates when she was 18 months.

it was rough but if mom hadnt pushed me to grow up and set me straight i would still be doing stupid things and such. ithought i was grown then but i have really had to grow up since then. i tell my mommy every day that i loove her and i thasnk her fo rmaking me grow up. i had a full time job and went to school plus i had marching band and such. then when i dropped out my mom took my car and since i was in highschool the dmv took my DL. so i had to wait to get it back and my grandma gave me her car so i could get to my appointments.

i hope this helps you. my mom agonized over this decision but she also kicked 2 kids out within a month or 2.

i feel i am a better person for it.

if the need arises i would do it to my daughter when she gets older too.

Answer 5

He has to graduate from high school.  You need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you're willing to keep him at home so he has a chance to graduate from high school, but if he doesn't get things together he'll probably need to leave shortly after.  Find out what he wants out of his life!  I was a difficult son for a little while and my mom was too relaxed with me and i turned out okay, but it would've been better had we trusted eachother more and communicated better.

Answer 6

This is just how a teenager acts, you will be frowned upon by almost everyone if you kick him out. Mothers will look at you in disgust. You are there for your son no matter what, just agree with what he says and set ground rules and stick by them.

Answer 7

I would say let him finish school, then give him the boot. Yes time will let him know that you have done all you can for him and he will thank you one of these days. I have not had to go throught this cuz my son is only 7 months old, however I know that if my son was to "walk all over me" I would tell him that I have done all I can do and if he feels that is not good enough for him...to get out and see if he does any better. I am sure he would be back.

Answer 8

does he have a job at the end of high school kick him out get him a job ok!! i have just change my mind i answer a question before saying when should a teen able to live by them self and now i think at the age of 18 is good he needs to be kicked out and he needs to learn how to provide for him self and having a job. My 17 year old daughter already have her job and her budget planed out because she learned how to do a budget i math class I'm sure you can sit down with him and also teach him how to do the budgets. when he is out of the house you can have peace at last not that you don't like your son lol but i think he needs to be at this age to be out and working.