Russian baby adoption: Cost? Your advice and experience?

Question

Was it good or bad? I've heard that many of the babies have attachment disorders when they get older. I am interested in adoption and just started looking into this so any helpful hints and advise would be welcome.

Answer 1

A close friend of mine (Bob) adopted a boy from Russia. Everything went well but Bob and his wife consider themselves very lucky, not all adoptions work out.

I think they spent about 40k but that was six years ago.

Part of the adoption process Bob and his wife had to be evaluated by a local Russian judge. It helped that Bob could speak passable Russian and was a deacon in the Russian Orthodox Church. Family background, economic stability and cultural continuity were important factors in approving the adoption.

A quirk of Russian society, boys are more difficult to place than girls.

If you are really serious you can contact me at [e-mail].

Answer 2

My neighbors have adopted two boys from Russia. I can't be overly helpful because I am not close enough with them to ask them your questions.  But I can tell you that at ages 5 and a year and a half, they seem to be very happy, healthy and well-adjusted young men.  You have to be careful when adopting Russian babies because a lot of the babies there do have disabilities due to poor prenantal care.  So this couple I know actually took there first trip over for the second baby thinking they were getting one little boy, only to find out that they weren't really equipped to care for him.  Luckily, they met their current son during that trip.

I would imagine that it's expensive.  Beaurocracy-wise, it's time consuming-they had to take 2 trips there of about 10 days apiece.

Go on a board that deals specifically with Russian adoption.  I know that my neighbors did get a lot of support and help from other couples that they met online.

Best of luck-

DN

Answer 3

I am the mother of two wonderful children from Russia. Both were adopted as young toddlers and are now almost 7 and 3.5.

The majority of children waiting for adoption in Russia are in government-run children's homes. This is not an ideal setting for children. You should anticipate that your child will have developmental delays when you bring him or her  home (most often, but not always, these can be overcome by working with your children or with short-term speech, occupational, or physical therapy.) Attachment is a process with any child. Usually it begins from birth and a child learns to trust his mother because his needs are consistently met. Your adopted child may or may not have had his needs consistently met prior to his adoption. And, at any rate, he probably will not trust you immediately (he has to learn to trust you). There are things that can be done to facilitate attachment with your child through attachment parenting, etc.

If you are looking for the nuts-and-bolts info about the process of adopting from Russia, I suggest the "Russian Adoption Handbook" by John MacLean. If you're interested in learning what to expect when you bring your child home, I suggest "Toddler Adoption, the Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best and "With Eyes Wide Open: A handbook for parents of international children." ("The Russian Adoption handbook" and "Toddler Adoption, the Weaver's Craft" are probably available at your local library or bookstore. "With Eyes Wide Open" is more of a specialty book.)

Best wishes as you research adoption.

Answer 4

We adopted both of our children from Korea, and through adoption groups I've met several families who've adopted from Russia. I know that is one of the more expensive international programs, someone I know adopted from Russia, and then Korea, and said the costs of the first adoption were twice as much as the second adoption, mainly because of the 2 trips to Russia that were required.

Most of the children are in orphanages, which does increase the risk for attacjment disorders, and the risk increases the longer they live in an institutional setting. Any adopted child can experience attachment issues though, and there are a lot of things you can do to foster a healthy attachment

Here's a good site

http://www.a4everfamily.org/

Answer 5

How about adopting a child from your country?  There are plenty of children that need homes very close to you, I'm sure.

(I'm not against foreign adoptions of any sort, but there are tons of "unwanted" kids everywhere.)

Answer 6

My two youngest sisters are adopted from Kazakhstan (right next to Russia), and both are fairly normal children (they're a bit hyperactive, but for little kids that's pretty standard).  I don't know exactly what it cost my parents, but it was fairly expensive (somewhere in the thousands of dollars, I think); don't let that discourage you, though, because you'll probably get most of it back through tax credits and whatnot.  Be prepared to be there for over a month, though, because (at least in Kazakhstan) they make you come around the orphanage for a couple of weeks before they'll let you take a child home with you, and then you have to stay around for all the paperwork and stuff to go through.