SEVERE phobia of being touched/needles, and pregnant! HELP!?

Question

I have abuse issues and can't handle being touched. I hate needles, I hate being touched, I cannot handle AT ALL not having complete control of anything happening to my body. I don't want to control other people. But, my attitude about doctor care is that I NEVER want it, I never choose it. It is always forced upon me against my will. If I had my way, I'd never ever go to one, and so far I have made it to nearly 30 without ever seeing one except for childhood vaccinations. Well, now I am pregnant and will eventually have to bite the bullet and go, but I'm not willing to consent to blood work or any type of female exam- so if those occur it will be by force and completely against my will. They will have to drug me and/or hold me down. "Get over it" and "do it for your baby" don't work on me and anyone who says such things I know doesn't grasp the meaning of a serious phobia. I don't want to be traumatized like this- to me it's like being raped. I don't know how to handle this other than being so heavily drugged I don't realize they're doing anything to me. Naturally, it would have to be with pills as I cannot handle any needles. Are there choices for me, or will I just have to be mentally traumatized repeatedly through this pregnancy?

Answer 1

You need to get to counseling or therapy.  That baby IS more important than your phobia.  I understand it is serious, but the health of that baby is more important.  If you are so traumatized, you shouldn't have gotten pregnant, as it is ROUTINE and REQUIRED procedures that you KNOW you have to go through.  Get counseling and therapy so that you can find the best plan for taking care of your baby and YOURSELF!  Good luck.

Answer 2

How did you get pregnant then?? cause said your dont like to be touched...So. Now im wondering.. If you managed that so well that your got pregnant.. You should be able to manage any situation!!

YOU BABY SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN a stupid phobia.. Sorry but i dont bite this.

good luck

Answer 3

I totally agree, you need therapy immediately.

The health of this baby is by far more important than your phobia

Answer 4

You need to start seeing a therapist.  Unfortunately, they can not drug you because most drugs that would knock you out would be very bad for your baby.  I'm a clinical social worker, and know that they are many different treatments for phobias.  I would recommend you looking for a therapist who has experience working with trauma victims and specializes in phobias.  I would also recommend that you get a female midwife rather than a doctor.  Midwives tend to be more bending on meeting your needs than MD's are.

I know that "Get over it" doesn't work to cure any mental health disorder any more than it would with someone who has cancer, and anyone who says that to you, obviously has no experience with severe trauma, or mental health problems.  That being said, if you want a healthy pregnancy, there are somethings that you will have to put up with, such as prenatal care.  If you say what state you are in, I can look into resources in your area for mental health care.

Answer 5

You sound a lot stronger than what you say. You say you don't like to be touched, but you allowed touching when having s*x. I come from a history of abuse as well and it's not easy moving on and we're always trying to stay strong. I can relate to that, but not your phobia. I am currently 27 weeks pregnant and I hate needles, but do what I have to do and move on. I just look away when they stick me.

You have an opportunity to participate in your prenatal care. At your first apt, you usually do give blood and it is for the good of you and your baby (I found out I'm not immune to measles). It's only one needle, I know that's not reassuring but better than more than one. After that you do go in once a month till some point around 24 weeks then you go every other week and then weekly.At regular apts, you just pee in a cup, they take your blood pressure, weight and then a brief meeting with your doctor, so not much happens.  If your pregnancy is going fine and you and baby are both healthy, talk with your doctor about reducing your appointments. I'm in the UK and I had my booking in apt and then my midwife apt at 14 weeks and didn't go back until 24 and that was only because I need a GTT for diabetes, other than that, would have not gone back till 28 weeks.

I have not had a reason to go and be seen and I'm grateful for that, the midwife's door is always open if needed and so will your doctor's. I used to always believe in the best prenatal care as I was constantly at the doctors with my last baby. I've had to adjust to less care here and find it much better. My baby is doing wonderful and I have a feeling yours will also.

I think you will change the moment this baby is born and have a wonderful connection with him/her. Take each day in baby steps. You're not obligated to take any of the tests but for the most part, they are worth it. I did skip any diagnosis type testing for downs and other things just because I feel they aren't accurate enough. Have you thought about seeking counseling? I know it's not for everybody so I hope you have someone close to lean on. Speak to your doctor about your concerns, try to keep an open mind and I'm sure they will work with you. I wish you all the best and hope you are not traumatized with any of this pregnancy.

Please don't look at this as rape as it is normal care. As you say, you won't get over it but I have a feeling that at the end of this, you will. Try to focus on your baby and the tiny beating heart of your baby. Take comfort if you can in whatever way suits you best.

My heart is with you.

PS saw your updates, was trying to anwer with lots of interruptions. Sorry. I'm so happy to see that you are seeking help and hope it works too. You're going to be an awesome mom!

Answer 6

It seems like you need some psychotherapy to help yourself prepare for the birth.  There are things they can do with hypnosis that could help you.

You got over your phobia of being touched enough to get pregnant, you can make it through the birth, too!  Or are we talking about a turkey baster, here?  I'm sorry, that's insensitive.

And, do consider all your options for birthing.  Hospital, Birthing Center.  You could even have a midwife come to your home for the birth.  

You can do it.  Just get some help to get you through.

Answer 7

I believe that the others on here are right. You will need to get some therapy to get through this. I know kind of what you are going through, because I have a deadly fear of needles, too. But, now that I'm pregnant, I have to have my blood taken about every month and to top it all off, I'm diabetic. Before I got pregnant, I was on a little pill 2 times a day. Now that I'm pregnant, I have to inject myself with insulin 4 times a day. Sometimes it hurts like fire, but I just tell myself that it's for my baby and he/she didn't ask to be born. So, it's my responsibility to take good care of him/her. I hope that helps, but please go get some therapy to help you get through this. Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

First question -- how did you manage to get pregnant if you couldn't stand to be touched?  

You need counseling. Today.  While you could certainly get through pregnancy without needles or pelvic exams, at some point this baby is going to come out -- and you will need professional assistance for that. Meaning being touched by a doctor or midwife.  

Make an appointment with a therapist today, and get the treatment you need. For the sake of you AND your baby.

Answer 9

I would recommend that you look into a birthing center and NOT go to a hospital at all. They are small and usually look like a house to be honest, they are licensed by the state and are safe for you and the baby with out most of the medical stuff. Usually it is run by midwives with one OB/GYN, while they may still ask you to get tests done I would think that they would be more willing to accommodate you and your needs.  I know that the tests are very important as a mother myself and as a medical student, but a phobia is just that and in a case like yours it would cause greater harm to you and your baby to perform a general test like that. If you are able to have an ultrasound and let a midwife touch the outside of your abdominal I am sure they would accommodate you.

Someone with such a sever phobia, when forced to undergo a procedure while carrying a baby could risk loosing the baby as you could panic to the point where you hyperventilate causing your baby to loose oxygen, your blood pressure could go through the roof, you could literally give yourself a heart attack or cause a miscarriage.

When you do choose a place to go and a doctor or midwife, be very very specific, and have someone with you since you are even afraid of touch, just to try and keep you relaxed. Good luck!!

PS

For those of you telling her to get over it you should look up phobia. It is not something someone can switch on and off. It is like someones worst nightmare in which they must live with in there lives. Most people never overcome them. If you think you have a phobia but deal with it that you are mistaking a phobia for a fear. Sorry guys but it is unrealistic to tell someone to "Just get over it"

Answer 10

That's really not healthy and I think you should see a psychiatrist.

Blood work and a pap smear are necessary when pregnant. They help determine a lot of things, such as, diseases, estimated due date, etc. I don't know anyone who is going to drug you for procedures that take 2-5 minutes.

Answer 11

The tests and examinations are really important for the health of your future child. But there are ways to make it better for you. And making it better is probably what's going to need to be done since they probably won't drug you for the baby's health.

First, you probably need to talk to someone about your past professionally. That person may be able to help you heal from your past. That's a long term solution though.

Second, finding a doctor who is understanding is important. You may feel more comfortable seeing a female. That's always a personal preference. Being upfront with the doctor and nurse prior to the start of the exam may help them come up with ways to make it less stressful for you. The doctor could explain exactly what is going on at each step so it's not so upsetting. Knowledge of what is going on with your body may give you the strength to face your fears and make it much less upsetting for you. Taking your partner along may also help with your anxiety.

Third, I also really dislike needles, but end up getting a lot of blood work. One of the things that helped me was to talk to the nurse about that. I had a nurse who directed me to look away the whole time, but she talked through the procedure every time. It became much less scary when I wasn't looking and she was so fast that I didn't even feel the sticks. Over time it became something that was less terrifying. While I still dislike needles, I'm no longer so terrified and crying even before I sit in the chair.

Good luck!

Answer 12

You don't HAVE to go through with these things but you are putting your baby at risk for a lot of things. Some of the tests are not necessary but some are very important for your babies health such as the group B strep test. You need to find a doctor that is willing to work with you, you may have to call around because many probably won't. You can try to keep things as minimally invasive as possible but some things you may need to suffer through for the sake of your baby. Good luck!

Edit: I agree with the idea that you should also get therapy.

Answer 13

There really are not any choices. I'm sorry to say. You'll have to get tests and so forth to make sure everything is fine. And they likely wont drug you because I'm sure anesthesia isn't safe for the baby. Take your partner with you, maybe he can ease your fears. Just curious, if you don't like being touched. How did you manage to get pregnant?

Answer 14

if you do not like being touched how did you get pregnant? and if you knew that you had these phobias you should not have gotten pregnant in the first place. you are being selfish and are putting your unborn child in danger.

Answer 15

I understand you. I hate doctors as well.  Exams are forced on me.  I only do it if I absolutely have to. It does feel like I am being rape.  I was sexual abused as a young teenager and it always reminds me of that incident.   I cry all the way through them most of the time. I have also yelled and been very rude to doctors but it is always out of great fear.  When I was in my twenties and had to get birth control I was told never to return to several doctors because I my great fear and their lack of understanding.

Since you have never been (I went only occasionally) going to a therapist is probably a good idea.  They can likely give you some anti- anxiety medicine to take before you go to the doctor.

Then you need to interview several doctors.  You need a caring doctor that will work with you.  One that can see past your anger and tell that it is just fear.  You might need to interview many, many doctors before you find the right on.

When I was 32 I got pregnant.  I went to one doctor and she was horrible.  She was so mean and cruel.  I can't tell you how horrible she was.  So then I interview two more.  I was lucky. I found a great doctor that really understood.  I told her about my past trauma and my bad previous doctor visits.  She was very understanding.  Very gentle with me and if I was a little rude she understood why.  Also she only did the exam and things that were absolutely necessary.  Like I had to have a female exam in the beginning but she was very, very, very quick.  And instead of having tranvaginal ultrasound, I only have the regular ones (where they use the wand on your belly).  Also I was never check for dilation late in pregnancy.  She would just ask me questions and she could basically figure out if I was anywhere near giving birth.  I was induced at 38 weeks.  So that might help you as well.

As far as the needle phobia-  Take deep breaths, before and during.  Think of a favorite song or quotes whatever to get your mind off of it.  Never look at the needle or where it is going.  It might help not to even look at the person getting your blood.That will help.

Last advice.  Bring your partner/husband or a trusted friend or family member to all appointment.  It really helps having someone their that will support and understand you.

Good luck and Take Care.  You can do this.  It is not fun but you can do it.

Answer 16

I feel bad to hear this.  You don't deserve to live like that.  I may not be much help but I can suggest 2 things.

1. Definitely seek some councelling to help you overcome the phobia.

2. Personally, I used a midwife instead of a doctor to help me through my pregnancy and through childbirth.  I went to a group of 5 midwives and they were all SO caring and wonderful.  In my opinion, they are not as clinical, cold and intimidating as some doctors can be.  They were actually very warm and so genuinely concerned about me and emotionally caring and supportive.  I still keep in touch with them on a "friendly" basis and my baby is 9 months old.  Maybe you would feel more comfortable going to a midwife instead of an M.D.  Just a suggetion.  I wish you well and God Bless.

Answer 17

There isn't much we can say. No one likes needles or some stranger looking down below at us. There aren't any options for you. This actually helped me to deal with my fears, I did just deal with it. You're giving life, and serious complications do happen during some pregnancies. The others are right about the therapy if you really can't do this for your baby. You're in a world of trouble since you got pregnant. How did you ever have s*x if you don't want to be touched? If it's because you trust your partner, keep him with you in your appointments and look at him at all time. Be honest with the doctors and nurses and let them know how you feel. Sometimes you really do need to be touched. Not everyone wants to hurt you, just that/those really sick people from your past. Don't let them affect your life or your baby. You're going to be a mommy, and it's a great thing. Sometimes scary, but it will be well worth it.

I had to wait for my 3 months of nausea and vomiting to pass before I could see a doctor. I am deathly afraid of needles, especially since I never have to deal with them, which makes it worse. I've been raped and beaten before by an ex and years went by before I had my 1st baby, but it still affected me. I always have male doctors, and they have to have a nurse or two also and of course they stare at your privates. Maybe try to toggle your mind if you can. Prove to yourself that you're stronger. Easier said then done, but at least try your best, for yourself and your baby.