s*x now i have got you'er attention?

Question

Lying on white sands I watch the sun kiss

the sea at end of day; waves break and spray

jagged rocks which point up to a twilight sky,

gulls, no need to fly, ride the wind like sailing

ships that glide upon sea in glow of dying sun.

Embers of day fade and remove the mask of

sun's blinding light and heavens darken, night

dissolves the cloud sky and shows all creation,

feeding my imagination, star light which has

travelled through time itself shines in my eyes.

This earth is cosmic dust, an island in an ocean

of time and space, a reality many refuse to face,

Almighty God blinds them with enlightenment.

Their faith is abandonment, the darkness inside

Us is a night sky, vast beyond our compression.

Answer 1

The passage of time is beautifully presented - from twilight to the eternal space of night.  The view of the outer, all expansive night heavens to the inward presentation of the soul - is well done. Keep up the good work ♥

Answer 2

Great poem, I can tell you put a lot of time into it, because the flow is good, the imagery is real, and the rhyme is subtle.  You have a lot of talent  : )

Answer 3

Why do you think your title will get you attention?

Well, whatever...

your poem is pretty intresting.

(:

Answer 4

This is a very well constructed and fascinating poem, with vivid visual imagery that drew me in from the first lines. Your lovely words create a beautiful, scene that evolves from "sun's kiss" to "night sky, vast beyond our comprehension".  There is a depth of meaning in the words which takes the poem to another level, including such enigmatic words as "Almighty God blinds them with enlightenment".  Truly wonderful.  Thank you.

Answer 5

A fine, visual poem with a message all should heed. (One suggestion: the last word might be comprehension, rather than "compression").

Answer 6

This poem would have gotten my attention more readily had you not put the that title on it.

I read poems for their value as poems and the feelings they evoke and the raw talent that is unfolded and exposed.

You have a very nice piece of work here that will stand on its own against the criticism of strangers.

I enjoy the visuals that you create you could put this poem to a power point with the pictures I have in my mind and it would be awesome.

Continue writing but please drop the attention grabber...it sucks.

Answer 7

This poem would have gained my attention without the commercial.  Great work!

Answer 8

that was wow i was there the whole time i was reading it to bad the world coundnt see the same thing with the same view