SHOULD I CALL IT QUITS OR KEEP TRYING?

Question

WE WILL HAVE BEEN MARRIED 3 YEARS 9/6/08. THREE DAYS AFTER WEDDING, HE ACCUSED ME OF SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE AT HIS MOM'S HOUSE WHILE HE WAS AT WORK. BY THE WAY HIS MOM WAS THE WHOLE TIME I WAS AT HER HOUSE. THE NEXT MONTH WE MOVED WITH HIS NIECE, WHERE HE ACCUSED ME OF SOMEONE WHO WAS PASSING BY AND LOOKED OVER THE HOUSE WHERE HIS NIECE LIVED. WE MOVED INTO OUR OWN APARTMENT AND WHEREVER WE MOVED HE ACCUSED ME OF THE APARTMENT MANAGERS IF THEY WERE MALE AND IF NOT WHOEVER HE SEE ME SPEAKING TO. THE LAST INCIDENT HE ACCUSED ME OF A 17 YEAR OLD JUST BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING WITH MY ONE YEAR OLD. WHEN I BECAME PREGNANT WITH OUR FIRST CHILD, HE WANTED TO TAKE A BLOOD TEST BECAUSE DOCTORS, SAID HE COULDN'T HAVE KIDS - LOW SPERM COUNT TEN YEARS AGO. NOW, I PREGNANT WITH OUR SECOND, AND HE HAS STARTED ABOUT A BLOOD TEST AGAIN. A COUPLE DAYS AGO WE GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT AND I TRIED TO HIT HIM WITH A MIRROR, BUT INSTEAD HE HIT ME. WHEN WE GET INTO ARGUMENTS, HE USUALLY PROVOKE ME TO HIT HIM AND JUST GIVE HIM A REASON TO HIT ME. I REALLY WANT OUT, BUT I THINK ABOUT THE KIDS WE HAVE TOGETHER AND I HAVE 2 OTHER CHILDREN FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

Answer 1

Do it for your self. Your kids could be in danger in the long run. and trust as someone who has had parents who fought its not a pretty thing. Move on from him you dont need someone like that. and call the cops next time he hits you it can always lead to worse things in the long run

Answer 2

I would say you two need a divorce and you should not be hitting him.It is just as bad when a woman hits a man as when a man hits a woman.He is a very jealous person and i would not put up with that,but you sound like the abuser in this situation and your kids are the ones who are suffering for it.if you two cant behave like grownups then you need to be divorced.And their is no reason to hit your spouse, he provoked you?that's what men say about them abusing their wives she made me do it.If you get that angry just walk away.I feel sorry for your children good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like he is a very jealous person...which isnt healthy in a relationship.  First strike.

When people resort to hitting each other, that also isnt good for a relationship. Second strike

I wouldnt wait for the 3rd strike...it sounds like u two arent good for each other, and should split from another.  Especially if you have children involved.  It isnt healthy for them either to be in that situation.

If you want out, get out.  Simple as that! Do your kids  a favor!

Answer 4

How is this healthy for the children?  How do you see your life in five years?  How do you want your life to be?  

Do you have a relative that you could go to?  If not, is there a "safe house" in your area?

You are the adult here.  Those kids need to live in a safe, nonthreatening enviroment.

Answer 5

You need to run, now, as fast as you can. You are doing your kids wrong by letting them believe that this is what they should expect in a relationship. If you are both physical with each other, something very tragic could happen by "ACCIDENT" then your kids would have no parents because one would be in jail for murdering the other one - it can and does happen and it could happen to you! He is totally disrespecting you and causing you to lose your self esteem. You have self doubt and are beginning to believe you are worthless. Stop being desperate. For the sake of your kids and more importantly for yourself get as far away from this bully as you can.

Answer 6

I don't think your kids will grow up fine in a family where love doesn't exist. With or without money, you can't have a child in such a situation, you will destroy his life. If you can't get along with your husband, you let him go, not force the children to go through all these unnecessary things just because you can't earn all the needed money by yourself.

You just need to be logical...

Answer 7

I think that your husband has some serious insecurity and self-esteem issues.  If he is hitting you, it will only get worse without help.  Insecurity and self-esteem comes from within-something that you can't help him with-only a counselor can.  If he won't go in for some help, then you would need to explore other options.  If you can't or won't leave him, then consider going and talking to someone and learn how to deal with his issues so he won't go off and get violent on you.  If getting a blood test will help ease the situation, then get the blood test done and prove to him you didn't cheat on him that way.

Answer 8

I hate to say this but guys like this never change in my experience. He is putting you through too many unnecessary changes which you do not need especially while pregnant. don't make excuses for him hitting! if he is super jealous and hits..he has got to go! Sometimes it's better to be on your own than with a man like that! I sincerely hope you make the right choice for you and the precious children.

Answer 9

It seems that your husband is mentally and emotionally abusive but both of you are too immature to be in a marriage with "anyone" or you would not have allowed this kind of destructive behavior to continue for such a long time. It is never good to remain in an unhealthy marriage simply because of the kids because both of you are showing your children what a real, mature and loving marriage is NOT supposed to be. Please seek a good divorce attorney as soon as possible so that all of you can get on with your lives in a more positive atmosphere.

I wish you the very best!

Answer 10

Call the YWCA, a woman's shelter, or domestic abuse hotline.  If he hits you, get out, get help, get safe.  I know this is hard advice to take, but your kid(s) could be next if you keep letting him hit you.  He only makes you think you provoke him... he is actually manipulating you into thinking it is your fault.  He is emotionally abusing you, and now physically, too.  Take your babies and get out.

Answer 11

I would leave!  The 2 of you together are not good!  You need to just leave and build a happy life for your children and yourself!

Best of luck!

Answer 12

ummmmuhh... well tell you children and they they would understand,ifhehits you then off i=to sizzels with him.

Answer 13

Well..I guess you were angry when you wrote that yea..with the "yelling" and the CAPS.

Well, if he's so darn bent on having a blood test, give him one! Show him you're not cheating.

He's being PARANOID.

And trust me, paranoid people are NOT fun to hang around. =[

If you have nothing to hide, show him that.

Although he might have a low sperm count, that doesn't mean that there's no way for miracles or anything.

But for the final, get out of that relationship. If he doesn't trust you that much and keeps accusing you of things like that, you should totally go. He's provoking you, GO. Get your kids and get away. If he continues this behavior, it really WILL benefit your children. Think about their safety AND yours.

That relationship is very unhealthy for all of you.

I really think you should split that up and get out of danger if this progresses any further.

Hope this helped ! If not, sorry for wasting your reading.

Answer 14

get out. unhealthy relationship. quit adding children to the mess. get out.

Answer 15

You should never have to resort to violence. But I say you should move on. He's insanely jealous and controlling. Get out for your kids. It sounds like he will never trust you. I feel for you. Best of Luck!

Answer 16

woah.

turn off the cap. lock!

Answer 17

First, there is a reason he continues to accuse of cheating. I tell my friends that if you are around attractive girls people are going to think things are going on, whether they are or aren't. Maybe you should minimize the amount of time you spend with the opposite s*x. Secondly,  (a  message to all women) when you husband/boyfriend yells pay no mind to him go on with the argument to make it appear as if you care but drop it when has no more to say. Thirdly, if there is abuse in a relationship it should never continue unless the a counsellor is talked to

Answer 18

it doesn't sounds like it's headed in a good place. you need to get out of that situation definitely. you need to find someone who treats you good, you deserve it