SHOULD I LEAVE MY WIFE & MOVE ON ???????

Question

I have been married for 5 years. During this period I have realized that my wife enjoys sadistic pleasures by either hurting me verbally or hurting my children. She seems to really enjoy when her words hurt me or the children. I really want to leave her but can't because I dont wanna loose my children. They mean the world to me. I even had to physically hit her a couple of times because of her behavior but this makes no difference to her. We even talked it out to which she admitted that she enjoys it when she see's us hurt. She then promises it would never happen again and then after a couple of days its back to square one.

What do I Do?????? Please advise ...

Answer 1

Did u expect hitting her to help...correction, you never HAVE to hit anyone?  There has to be a reason she behaves this way...? Get the woman some help.  Really between the two of you ...u are really s******g up your children.  You both need some professional help

Answer 2

Why did you get married in the first place? You could have avoided this **** if you never married her. Women are not to be trusted.

Well, you screwed yourself. You're going to lose the kids if you divorce.

Congratulations buddy, you married a succubus.

She knows that if you divorce you'll have to pay child support for little Johnny and Susie until their 18.

I can't help you here.

I wish you wised up 5 years earlier. I wish you the best, brother. Unfortunately, you will have divorce, become another statistic.

Another prime reason not to be married.

Answer 3

no dont leave your wife! you have to see a doctor maybe your wife is something stress or what!

Answer 4

Look first of all you should not be hitting her physically. You should not leave your wife you need to take her to a doctor get her to counseling and also your kids. Don't leave her if you know she is not mentally fit. Help her!

Answer 5

For heaven's sake, get the children out of there, before she damages them and you, for life. "50 ways to leave your lover", listen to that song, and add the kids.

Answer 6

You should separate until your wife can get some proper help to deal with any issues  that she clearly has. This environment that you are in at the moment can have a devastating long term effect on your children try and seek custody until your wife has sorted through her problems.

Answer 7

There is a kind of psychological disorder, where one feeds off or inflicts  misery on their love ones and finds a form of satisfaction in it.

It would be good to have her evaluated by a doctor, for the sake and safety of your children. If you are in contact with her parents, ask for their support on the matter, so you can take her for evaluation without much retaliation on her part.

also stop hitting her, it doesn't make it better either way.

If she has a disorder, then her behavior is obviously caused by the illness. It would be up to you to continue to support her throughout her treatment. This would depend on how much you love her.

If you decide to abandon her, make sure the kids are aware of your decision and the truth about their mother's condition. You will most likely get custody if she is psychologically incapacitated.

Answer 8

First of all, you are not justified in physically hitting her, so don't do that again or you are just as bad as she is. Secondly, it sounds as if you are living in a toxic environment and more than anything else, i pity the helpless children who don't get to have choices about what to do. But i think you probably have more choices than you may realize. If she is truly abusive, there is every chance that you may be awarded custody of the children if you should split. In fact, it would probably be a shame if you didn't. If you haven't looked into getting her some kind of help, then perhaps that is a good first step if she is willing to go. But don't allow your children to linger in this situation indefinitely. To do nothing is to enable her to harm your children further. 1. Tell her she needs to get help, see a therapist, psychiatrist, whatever it is she needs most. 2. If she doesn't do it or doesn't improve in spite of it, consult a lawyer about your options.  3. Protect those children at all costs.  

Good luck.

Answer 9

Can you afford a lawyer?  You NEED a lawyer.

You are in a terrible position.  YOU look like the bad guy if you hit her.  If you leave her then you are abandoning your children to her.  I don't know what to tell you.  I went through a divorce 2 years ago and I wonder if I would have been better off getting murdered 2 years ago.  

I do know this.  If you and your wife are fighting and being physically violent, then BOTH of you are hurting your kids.  BOTH.

File an emergency restraining order, and take your kids and go somewhere safe for a month.  I know what it's like being around evil people.  Evil people know how to get you to do evil for them.  She knows that pushing your buttons will make you do stupid stuff and drop to her level.

The next time she does this, pick up the kids and leave.  You CANNOT work stuff out.  You CANNOT give her another chance.  You can't even TALK to her.  Leave.  You guys are done.  Don't look back.  Don't second guess yourself.  GO.

Answer 10

Yeah, I'm betting that cycle will only repeat itself until it escalates..

BTW  what do you mean "Had to hit her"?

Answer 11

Medication.