SIL has already started causing problems and we just set the date 2 days ago...?

Question

My SIL is quite a piece of work. She dosnt have ANY common sense and honestly says basically says whatever she thinks. I agreed to my FI that I would have his sis as a bridesmaid becuase he knows it would mean a lot to her, and because my brother was going to be one of his groomsmen. Well Saturday that just past, we set the 100% possitive deffinate date for the wedding. I already told my maid of honor and my 1 other birdes maid that I wanted them. They have been very very close friends of mine for years. Well I simply hadnt talk to my SIL to even mention that we were setting a date. Anyway, she randomly stopped by our house after we had been at the wedding site and we told her we finalized it ect. She got home and texted my FI and was telling him how she "demanded" to be a bridesmaid, and that she wanted one of her and her FI's friends invited. And asked if her FI was going to be in the wedding as well. Well my FI sent her back that for $100 their friend could come, no her FI is not in

Answer 1

You don't have to have her involved in planning. Pick a dress and then  let her know afterwards what YOU selected and where she needs to go to get it. Don't tell her that the other girls went with you. That would be rude. You don't want to stoop to her level, you just want to keep her at arms length and in the dark.

Answer 2

Ummm it's your wedding not hers!  Do what u please for your special day.  I can understand y you allowed her to be apart of the wedding party.  However Do what you want how you want and if she don't like it she can dismiss herself b/c she wasn't your pick from start!

Tell her when to get fitted with ya'll(for her size) and let her know what to expect and how much she's gonna be coming out of pocket for.  How you want their hair done,shoes ect.

If she complains and refuse get rid of her b/c your wedding is already going to be stressful you DO NOT WANT ANY ADDED STRESS!!   Trust me I went thru it.....Good Luck honey!

Answer 3

You don't have to involve her in the planning. Just do things with your MOH and bridesmaids. If she asks why you didn't ask her to help you can just say that you already had it handled.

All you need to do is include her in shopping for bridesmaids dresses. After that if she asks about anything just give her open answers. If she asks when you are going shopping for your dress, etc. just say, "Oh, I'm not sure..."

There are ways to keep peace. You never know - she might end up being a big help. Just try to keep an open mind and give her a chance. If she proves to be intolerable then you will have to do your best to ignore it.

EDIT: When I said go shopping I meant trying on the dress styles that you have in mind for them; I didn't say pick her own dress

Answer 4

Well, my advice is to talk to her, with a witness, preferably her Mom and her brother, and just say, "oh, my, I asked you to be a bridesmaid, and I understand you thought you were being forced into it, I do not want that. So, you do not have to be a bridesmaid. And we  can't afford to invite a friend of your Fi. I'm so sorry, I thought this would be a great opportunity for us to be close like sisters, but I won't force you." And drop it. Her Mom might beg, and then you say, OK, "she is in, but she has got to understand we just can't change things to suit her after the arrangements have been made, and I need help, not critism and roadblocks." Or, sorry, I already asked someone else, I can't take it back."

Really, I think that if you do not reign her in now, bridesmaid or not, she will drive you nuts, and do everything possible to sour things with your groom and your new family.  Bet she has always ruled that family, and bet she has always been believed. She is a liar in the guise of a freespirit, don't buy into it.