Sad, moving, poem, what do you think?

Question

Cry alone, I've gone away

No more nights, no more pain

I've gone alone, took all my strength

But I've made the change,

I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood

all the ones around me,

I cared for and loved

Building up, inside of me

A place so dark, so cold,

I had to set me free

Don't mourn for me,

you're not the one to place the blame

As bottles called my name,

I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood

all the ones around me,

I cared for and most of all I loved

but I can't see myself that way

please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Answer 1

It's heartfelt.  But being heartfelt does not a poem make.    

You can write, but try and move toward a more creative use of images and corresponding language.  Maybe channel your emotion into a metaphor or similie that is different from the literal.  The literal being just a basic describing of how you feel - which I feel is what this poem is.  Even the most simplistic poems bring emotion and life experience to new language.  I am sad, I feel mad, I feel bad, no one loves me, are all universal human emotions - but describing them literally does not make for a good poem.

Just being honest.  You can certainly write, keep it going.

Answer 2

its an avenged sevenfold song.

so not really no.

Answer 3

You emo piece of people man feet! Get a life. Get a new hair cut. AND, those are song lyrics.

Answer 4

well...regardless of what everyonew says or thinks i thought it was insightful, it shows ure not afraid to be u and poems tell a lot more than u think, if the right people are listlening, so dont be discoured, dare to just be u, and by the by ure poem rocks.

Answer 5

This feels so motivational. I don't know why all of the other answerers sad that they were emo or anything. Don't listen to them. Honestly, this poem made me cry. It is very sad and motivational. It feels like someone so sad and suicidal. In a nutshell, this poem is very sad and brings chills to those who read it. You're not alone.

~ Please take care,

Native Lotus Flower

Answer 6

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