Salam Saudis Moms it would be Great ifyou listen to the Story.Thank you?

Question

Hi ii as you see this Emale is new to prevent anyone of knowing who asked i didn't ask on my emale.

I am 39 Years old Female,i am married and i have 3 Children ages : 15 18 19,I had a ruff time with my Daughter that is 18,She doesn't want to be a Muslim and she doesn't want to pray,i ask why she says i don't believe this c**p (istakhfara allah).she doesn't want to be a Muslim she hates it me and my other Daughter try to tell her about it Islam she says i now the stories,and i don't want to believe in Islam i try ed taking her to Religious Chats,she hates it she doesn't want to go !

I cant force her to listen niether believe in The Quran but what can i do ?

She is driving me crazy she is my Daughter she wants to believe to be an Athist ! Please help and sorry if this Question bothered you.

Thank you

Answer 1

how about getting her a (shik) maybe she will listen to him when he reads and of course id3i allah to forgive her !!!!!!!!

Answer 2

i think your daughter is trying to express her being by this way, being rebellious. she is trying to say, this is my way, not what you tell me.

you can tell her, that she can be what she wants, but she need to be rational, she needs to convince you about her ideas.

also, you might need to know about the personality of your daughter

is she the stubbern type? is she the deep thinking type? i mean for every type of personality there is a way to convince her ..

it is important to prepare her to listen, before telling her anything

some people can be convinced spiritial way, some the logical way, some the sceintific way, some are the human values way ..

some, unfortunately, will never be convinced ..

depends how your daughter think, you might need to find good logic to talk to her. however, you need to do your homework really well before talking to her, so you can be convincing

i know from my relatives a story of two ladies with maids

one tried to convince her maid to convert to islam, so she was telling her about the punishment of the non-believers. the miad kinda got turned off totally from her stories.

the other relative, had an issue with the maid, and the maid went into trouble. they helped her, they really supported her and saved her from deep trouble. the maid asked them why you did all of this?

they explained, that it is part of religion, to help others ..etc

she started to ask more and more about islam .. and was very open to listen to anything .. she left home, and God knows if she will convert or stay christian.

my point is, you need to understand your daughter very well before telling her one more advice.

you can also read my answer on a similar question below, i found the Q hard to believe, but the story in my answer is a true story happened in my family

Answer 3

hehe its alot easier not to believe then to believe in something you dont see...

dont force her or repeat yourself it will just annoy everybody...

obviously these ideas come from some where... you should try to listen to her instead of lecturing her... see what she thinks is "c**p" about it and try to relate Islam to what she believes...

Lets face it.... Islam currently has a bad reputation and doesnt have the Quality of leadership it once had... ( which Mohammed PBUH already told us we would go through this phase)

so for a young teen living in todays world... its uncool.

good luck.

Answer 4

First of all and the most important.. you her mother.. and mother's prayer for her children gets answered by God!! doa'a, doa'a.. and doa'a..

Second tell her lets hear about this religion you want to adopt maybe you can convence me too.. give me proof that it is the real thing.. and tell her if you think this is what will get you to heaven after death then go for it..

be honest and listen to her.. do not talk to her in a challenging voice tone.. she just wants to be heard.. listen and talk to her like an adult..

it seems that your girl just want to do things her way and don't want to listen.. she is just being stubborn.. may Allah guide her..

then when she is done talking and giving you proof.. tell her can I now give you proof why I think Islam is the true religion? then give her whatever you think will touch or influance her depending on her personality.. whether fear from h**l or promise of jannah.. or real stories that happened to you or other people..

tell her not to judge Islam by watching what muslims do.. muslims are not where to get Islam from.. Islam is in Quraan and Hadeeth..

P.S. you might want to call a well-known sheekh or a muslim psychotherapist and ask him for advice before doing anything + don't forget to pray for estekhara before every action

It will not be easy and it can be very challanging.. be gental.. The prophet PBUH never forced Islam on any of his family members.. If he was rough no one would have listened..

May God help you..

Answer 5

I'm not quite familiar how laws in Saudi about religion works. No clue either where you are from or if you were raised as a Muslim or a convert.

Regarding your daughter, I think you should give her the freedom and the chance to explore life. Religion indeed is a big effect in what she will become in the future. Forcing her to do your usual routine might make her turn her back to what you believe in, and worst, maybe turn her back to her family as well.

Pray for her so she can see the right path. As a parent, I know you want the best for your children (I know I would want that if I become a parent myself, in the future) but do we really know what is that BEST thing for them? What we should do is to support them, guide them, and help them if they need us. And pray to God that they may see the right light. Leave it to Him, for He has great plans for every one of us.

Hope this helps.

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edit : I have posted this question in the Religion and Spirituality section with regards to your inquiry.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

This might be of help to your exploration.

Answer 6

thankyou H for your ever wise words. ^_^

and im surprised for such mature words from the first poster up there that is 11yrs old.. Mashallah!

..

I agree witht them

There is no compulsion in Islam... All your duty is to guide them gently to the path, present the message of Islam, guide by example, and let Allah do the rest.. Pray for her as much as you can.. Allah will show her the light if it was meant to be..

All teens go through this stage.... She will come around soon enough.

Just try to help her keep her morals in tact although she doesnt want to believe now.. (I mean there are still morally good athiests also).. and hopefully once she comes around, she will be all the better for it..

May Allah bless you and your family ^_^  

Answer 7

Your kid is better off not belonging to a religion that celebrates mass murder and has never moved past the hatred and tribalism of the sixth century.  Let's hope some insane Saudi doesn't kill her for having common sense, something in terribly short supply in the Middle East.

Salaam Bombay!

Answer 8

It is a hard time!! i'm a muslim too!! By the way its a time wen u just have to relax because at 18 they've got pressure on them try and ask God to forgive her. And when it comes to Ramadhan tell her to desighn something 4 other people so knoledge will grow about Islam!!!

Good Luck with you're daughter!! Just to tell you i'm 11 years old...;-)

Answer 9

I am an Athiest living in the US. She is more than welcome to come live here with me. She can learn what it is all about living in a free country with no religion shoved down your throat. She could throw away the bag she wears on her head and show some skin. She could wear short pants and tshirts. She could freely discuss her feelings with others that would not persecute or even kill her. Once she gets a job and learns what it is to be a free person, she can move on to have her own place. She would be free to date any man she would like. You may contact me and let me know what you think about my offer.  

Answer 10

I feel pity for your daughter.. being born in a muslim family.. her heart has been sealed.. and wants to become an Aethist...

The only thing you can do is change the enviorment at your home.. .. .you your self have to be religious for your children to follow you ..I dont blame you ... .. educate her on what happens after death .. the ahzaab of the grave and the day of judgment..

Show her videos of ppl who  have reverted back to Islam....  and most important... pay to Allah... cuz he is the only one who can open her heart to Islam..

I wish you well and pary to Allah that she redirects herself to the path of Allah...

Also .. .you should be well versed with aethism... so that you can counter her questions.. I suggest you use  the link below and read the book Dialogue with an Atheist By Mostafa Mahmoud .

http://www.muslimbase.com/product_info.p...

Answer 11

Fatima, I am not a Muslim but experienced the same thing with one of my teenagers. I suffered a lot, I wondered what I had done wrong. I tried to make her go to church, but the more I pushed the more she resisted. It broke my heart.

I prayed a lot, I sought advise from my other members of our faith. But our Pastor had the best advise. Teach her by being a good person. Show her the way by being the example.

My daughter is now 24 and recently came to me and noted it was the things I said, and showed her as a young girl that made her strong as a woman.  That she understood that my strength came from my religion.

Be a good mother, love her un-conditionally, be the example and show her the proper life. Time will bring her back to her faith.  

Answer 12

Pls make she dosnt go the wrong way other then tht.as well said in Quran1can't force ani1 to follow ISLAM.

Tell her the story of greatPROPHET MOHAMMD.

Giv her basic knowledge in evry posible way

Answer 13

hi there,

well...I'm not sure for how long did you become a muslim urself...but, there's a verse in the Holy Quran says: that you can't force people into islam, you can show them the path, but you can't ever get them to do follow something they are unsure about...

Where are you originally from? For how long did your family became muslim? Are you living in Saudi Arabia? Where did you live before? What school did your kids go to?

if you could answer these I might try to find you a real solution..

regards,  

Answer 14

You can't really make her believe anything since she is already 18 years old she has developed her own beliefs and the more you try to tell her or force her, the more she will pull away from you.  I can say the only thing you can do is pray for her, especially during Ramadaan.  Maybe when she sees everyone fasting and praying during Ramadaan she will feel something.

Answer 15

Dear Fatima,

believing has to come from the heart and you can not convince somebody to believe. The harder you try to push your daughter to believe, the more you will push her away from you.

To me it sounds that your 18 years old daughter goes through a phase right now where other teenagers go through being 15 to 17 years old. They try to find their own way.

Your daughter does not want to pray? Fine - not praying is more honest than faking to pray. Best thing to do: live your life like you used to. Ignore her ignorance for Religion. Offer her to join, but do not force her. Let her know and feel that you are always there for her no matter what. Sooner or later she will get more mature and hopefully will find the right way.

I do not know if it will help, but as long as she wants to believe that she is an Atheist, she is none. Take the pressure away and respect your daughter's "actuell non beliefs". But also put her in place to respect your family's believes and that she has to follow certain rules as long as she lives under your roof.

You did not mention since when she does not want to be a Muslima no more. Did anything maybe happened you are not aware about? Was your daughter brought up as a Muslima since she was born or did you convert? It also would help to know where you live. I am a bit surprised that you do not mention how your husband thinks about your daughter.

I know many Muslims who are not religious and Muslims (especially females) who complain about certain Islamic rules, but all of them would call theirselves being proud Muslims.

All the best for you and your family.

Answer 16

انك لن تهدي من احببت لكن الله يهدي من يشاء

Answer 17

Fatma,Please be  reminded  that Islam is  not  only  the  religion  on the  universe.You are  a Muslim  simply  bcoz yr  parent  were  muslim.Or you  heard  from  someone  who  was  muslim  and converted  to Muslim.Human being is a  free  creature only  that  some   limitations    exiting  bcoz of other  human being.Let  your  daughter  believe  what   she  choose  to  live in.And sincerely  speaking GOD has not IMPOSE limitation to human being to  accept or opt a certain religion.HE gave  us  mandate  to  choose  what is good  and  what  is  bad.