Same race adoptees, how do you feel?

Question

I want to reiterate. THIS IS NOT ABOUT RACE! I am not racist and support interracial adoption. This is a survey of same race adoptees and their feelings about their biological heritage.

Answer 1

I'm not sure what the question is. I dont feel different at all to the rest of my family, although, yeah, i am curious.

how do I feel? How do you feel?

Answer 2

I think that's a great question.

I was adopted at birth, always knew I was adopted.

Had a wonderful childhood (with normal ups and downs and challenges) with awesome opportunities and my awesome family.  My mom and I were always super close - talked every day, etc.  

I did always wonder, though, where I got my knuckles -  no one else had knuckles like mine.  Not just in the family, but NO ONE I knew.  Also I was born Irish Catholic and raised Jewish.  I'm proud to be Jewish, but it was challenging at times and kids would exclude me since I *look* Irish, not Jewish.  

I found my birthmom, just wanting to let her know how thankful I was that she loved me enough to give me up (she was young) and for my amazing family.  Also was curious about medical history and where I came from.

I found my birthmom 10 years ago, and we have an awesome relationship as well as with my entire maternal family and her husband's family, too!

If anything, it brought me even CLOSER to my MOM, which I didn't think possible. (Sadly, she passed away 5 years ago at age 76...very traumatic for us).

Longer than you wanted, but I hope interesting!

Answer 3

I'm feeling very sorry for you, you see I was thinking to put my babies up for adoption, now after I read your question, I don't it will be a good idea anymore. I do want them to be raised in the same culture background and I want them to feel proud of their heiritage.

Answer 4

i don't understand why people are having such a difficult time reading this question. i believe the op wants to know how adoptees who may not look different from their family feel. obv., if someone adopts an asian child and are white, that child is going to know why they look different than their parents. but many times in domestic adoptions, people end up providing a home to a child of the same race. these children then might have more of a difficult time understanding why they are different when they look the similiar. did i interpret the question fairly correctly?

i placed my son with a mostly german family (not a lot of other options in north dakota); he is 1/2 german (birthfather), 1/4 native american, 1/8 french and 1/8 scottish (me!). we chose an open adoption, so my son will grow up knowing his biological heritage. since his parenst are german and he is half german, he'll be exposed to his german heritage, eps. where he lives. but b/c his parents know that he is of native american decent, they will also expose him to that part of his history. and b/c native americans also tend to be more at risk for certain health problems, his parents can take early necessary steps to ensure that he will be as healthy as possible.

Answer 5

I THINK YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR ADOPTED PARNETS FIRST AND SEE HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU FINDING YOU REAL PARNETS.

SOME PEOPLE FEEL LIKE KIDS THAT ARE WHITE OR BLACK,ETC. THAT THEY SHOULD BE PUT WITH THE SOME COLOR. I FEEL THIS WAY IF IWAS PUT WITH A DIFFENT COLOR FAMILY I WOULD LOVE THEM THE SAME AS A SAME COLOR FAMILY.EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO HAVE A FAMILY. THEIR ARE KIDS OUT THEIR THAT CAN NOT GET I NTO ANY FAMILY OF ANY COLOR.I FEEL IF THEIR IS A FAMILY THAT IS WILLING TO TAKE A CHILD OF ANY COLOR,THEN I APPLAUSE THEM,AND THEY ARE VERY HAPPY WITH WHAT THEY HAVE DONE....EVERYBODY IN SOME WAY FEEL THEIR HISTORY HAS BEEN STOLEN.EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT ADOPTED.YOU CAN BE WITH YOUR REAL PARNETS AND STEEL FEEL OUT OF PLACES.I THINK IF YOU GOT A GOOD FAMILY THEN THING CAN NOT GET ANY BETTER FOR YOU.JUST LIVE FOR THE DAY.NOT FOR WHAT HAS HAPPEN TO YOU A LONG TIME AGO. TELL YOUR PARNETS WHAT YOU ARE WANTING TO DO FIRST....GOOD LUCK.

Answer 6

I’m sort of confused about the same race; race has nothing to do with adopting from a different country. People can adopt a child of a different race as them that’s from the same country as them. Or they could even adopt a child of the same race as them from a different country.  

My family is white, I’m multi racial, and I have never felt out of place in my family. Nor have had any desire to find birthmother /birth family. Sometimes I wish I had medical history but I don’t dwell on it. Thanks to DNA heritage someday I will be able to find out exactly what my heritages are. The way I have always figured is that this is the family God wanted me to be in. My birthmother had drug problems so I defiantly would not had a positive life if I had stayed with her.

Answer 7

Yes, I suppose we all have different answers.

I was adopted at birth and always knew I was adopted.  I love my family and feel that they are the perfect family for me.  I had a great childhood and have a pretty great relationship with my folks.  I was always curious about where I got my face though, I look like no-one in my family, and they all look very much like each other.  It was the only thing that made me feel different though, because I am certainly very much a member of the family.

I was also always hoping to meet my birth-mother, unfortunately she died a few years before I searched, but I found her family and it was really wonderful to meet them and finally have someone whom I looked like.  They were really glad to know me too.  It was also really exciting to finally find out my ethnicity!  They helped me to find my birth-father and I am very glad to know him.

I do not resent being put up for adoption, in fact I believe I have had many opportunities I wouldn't've had if my birth-mother had kept me.  I was also incredibly fortunate to have parents who were not threatened by my wanting to search for my birth-mother and birth-father, in fact they were supportive; my mom helped me search.  My mom recently reminded me that when I was little and people asked me how I felt about being adopted I used to say; "It's great!  I got the Family I wanted and the Body I wanted."

I now feel like I have three families, my family, my husband's family and my birth-family.  It's great!

This may be a bit longer than you wanted, but it's hard to be concise about such a broad experience.

Answer 8

adoption is great for all races

Answer 9

Ethnicity and adoption shouldn't matter.  A loving home is all that does. It's normal for the adopted (even when of the same ethnicity) to wonder about their origins.

Answer 10

Being a multiracial family is just as good as being a one race family. Unconditional love in a good home is all that matters. I do recommend teaching a child about their racial background and ethnicity. Also, exposing them to people of their race through possible friendships, books, art, movies, etc. Since you are a multiracial family things in the home should become multiracial.

Answer 11

i'm fine with being adopted and do not want to find my birth parents. if i could, i would like to see my birth mother without her knowing i was there, just to see what she looks like. i love my adopted family, but i'm nothing like them, so i have never felt like i actually belong. now i have two children of my own and it's great to finally have something that is blood related.

Answer 12

is should not mater because if you are raised in a multi racial house hold then it is what a person gets used to.