Sand man looking from in the hour glass?

Question

i am are i not?

some putrid flesh

bound to rot

ashes to ashes

my butt to dust

I'm feeling like

a flake of rust

life was fun

when it began

but now I'm sliding

into the grains of sand

holding it up

the best that i can

but I'm up to my elbows

my head in my hands

Answer 1

beautiful imagery that melts into each line...try and make the poem clever and subtler by adding in the sand man looking in from hour glass at the end or beginning of the stanza...don't tell the reader what he is but show the reader...

Answer 2

i love it. its absolutely wonderful