Say or sing something funny

Question

If you can beat this (Got it from a friend) that would be awesome:

(Sing to the oscar mayer tune)

First, oscar takes a baseball bat and hits him on the head,

mayer cuts off all his limbs to make sure he is dead,

then they take the slimy stuff and put it in cellophane,

and that's how oscar myer makes his B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Good luck

Answer 1

Q.  What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A. Nothing you haven't already told her twice

It's a stupid joke don't get offended.

Answer 2

You are in 2008  

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is  that

they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after long days at work you still answer the phone in a

business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three

different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if

anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the

screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have  

the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.AND NOW You Are LAUGHING at yourself



.

Answer 3

how about coming over to my place for some wine and doritos

Answer 4

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.

The courage to change the things I can.

And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they really pissed me off.