Scared Teenager Father! Please help me!!

Question

My girlfriend is 14 and pregnant and i am the father i am really scared and i need help with things i could do for her like nice sweet things to make the pregnancy easier for her! i feel really bad and sometimes want to kill myself! Please please please help me! what should i do??

Answer 1

It's one thing to make a mistake, it's quite another to step up and try to make the most of that mistake.  Clearly you understand that at your ages, you're not ready to be parents.  So use all of your resources, parents, teachers, friends, counsellors, siblings, and rally together to give this new life a chance at success.  It's not going to be easy, but you can do it with support.  Killing yourself is never the answer, think about what that would do to your babies chances for a successful life.  Your parents would be devastated, and your girlfriend would be left alone to deal with something you should deal with together.  Be strong, take one day at a time, and think before you act.

Answer 2

learn from it...

give the baby up for adoption, bcz ur maturity level is quite apparent...

reproducing at 14...? ya right...

Answer 3

Firstly DO NOT KILL YOURSELF ! ! ! Think, who will this help? Not your girlfriend for sure, and definitely not the baby. You just really need to be there for your girlfriend right now and although the pregnancy. You need to take responsibility for your actions. Try not to be stressed and angry in front of her and get a job so you can earn money. The best thing you can do for her is show her that you can be a good dad and support the family. x hope this helps!

Answer 4

Killing yourself is not the answer. I was a teenage father too. If your parents and your girlfriend's parents are supportive then you have nothing to worry about. Your girlfriend may be sick at times but she'll be okay. It's nothing to be scared about.

Answer 5

Just be there for her. If she ever needs something, like a certain food she has a craving for... or she needs her feet massaged... do it. Don't even wait until she asks. Offer her a massage. Go with her to the doctor's possibly? Anyways I can't think of much more 'cause I just woke up, but good luck my friend! OH! If you guys are into drugs and whatnot... stop. You're going to have to clean up your act for this baby.

Answer 6

Well you just need to support her. Bring her flowers and a thoughtful card. So just be nice to her and she'll need all the support that you can give. If you love her give her all the love you have by being there for her and just think about what she is feeling.  

Answer 7

firstly killing yourself will not help.

can you speak to one of your parents about this?

and just be there for her and offer assistance when she needs it.

ignore the haters, and CONGRATS!  YOU'RE A DAD!!!:)

Answer 8

Give that child a chance...give it up for adoption!!!!!!!!

If you keep it is just going to be another welfare baby..idiot...Just another baby for the state to support..Use protection..you should of thought about the consequences of your actions BEFORE you had unprotected s*x..

All these people seem to find nothing wrong with the fact that you are 14 and will be raising (somewhat) a child..when you are still a child..It is not right..you should not be able to keep it..your parents are dumb for not suggesting adoption...Way to ruin a childs life...Because it is not going to have an easy life at all.....teenagers are so stupid..

Answer 9

First of all, you should both tell your parents, if you haven't already. They might surprise you with how supportive they are.  You can get help with food during the pregnancy and formula after your baby is born from WIC (Women, Infants, & Children). Healthy Start, Healthy Families will provide your girlfriend and the baby with insurance.  Most importantly, just be there for her as best you can.  She's going to be dealing with a TON of hormones and it's hard to get a grip on them, so be patient.  Best of luck!  

Answer 10

just be there and be committed to her and your baby, through pregnancy an the next 18+ years. You also need to tell your parents, if you haven't already. She needs to too.

Answer 11

You can participate by being an active observer! let her know you're there for her  feel the baby kick. that kinda stuff.

Answer 12

first ur r an idiot

second just be ther for her thats all u hav to do and maybe tell her parents?

good luck tho and dont be so melodramatic XD

Answer 13

talk to her and be there for her

its not her pregnant its your as a couple is pregnant, your in this togheter and your allowed to be nervous...but i bet you she is too

and sometimes it can be ok to be nervous togheter and talk about it, understanding your in this togheter and need to suport eachother

make sure to talk to a doc, go to birth class, and read up on babybooks, as well as diet

she should be carefull with things like nuts, eggs and sertaint types of fruits (specialy if there is anyone in your or hers family who have allergy)

you also need to talk to social services to look into which type of suport the two of you are eligiable too, for all cost both of you need to try to stay in school, finsihing that will have a lot to say on which jobs you can get, you aint going to do that child a favor by living on minimum wage all your life

Answer 14

if anything, i thought you'd be scared about telling your parents instead of treating to her needs...anyways, now that your gonna be a daddy, it probably isn't as bad as you'd think...now you have to spend less time with your friends and more time with her...nuture her, help her do daily tasks. life is gonna be harder for her now and you gotta be there to support her. dont' be a jerk and run away... in the end, when she has the baby, its much more rewarding to stay with her...even if it tough at the beggining.

hope everything goes well

yea, and like that other guy says, get a job! you'll need to save up a lot of money.

Answer 15

Well... you know from the first place that this whole thing was a mistake and the biggest mistake would be not raising this kid because of what you've done... well what you should do is to show her that you're ok with that thing and you will NEVER abandon her, and that you will always be with her no matter what and that you will love this kid and be his best friend... She's only 14 so i think she'll be so sensitive and emotional also that's how pregnant ladies are. Don't tell her that you're freaking out and that you wish you could kill yourself, you just gotta keep it to yourself... be always there for her and help her through it because your part of what's going on and that's your destiny... I'm sure if you love her, you will stay by her side and be the greatest dad on earth, cheer up for now and read more about raising kids and show your GF that you care... You're the one she needs right now...

Good luck :D

x*x

Answer 16

well first of all you have to accept the fact that you are going to be a father. personally, i dont think it matters what age you are.. you still are going to have a baby. just dont be too scared, even older fathers freak out like you did. you just have to calm down and know that everything will be okay. if anything, your girlfriend should be the scared one. you should just buy her anything she wants, such as chocolate and stuff. but also make sure that she eats healthy, because you are going to want a healthy baby. you guys should also consider taking baby classes. if you are too embarressed to do so, then you can just read up on baby stuff. i suggest that you go out and buy baby books.. that should make your girlfriend happy because it shows that you care about her and the baby. the both of you need to read about how to take care of a baby and what to expect, so dont just buy one book, buy a few. im sure that you will make a good father :) you just have to try hard and calm down. you have 9 months to prepare. good luck to you and your girlfriend.

Answer 17

Well The other day on the bus I saw a guy and his girl and she was pregnant and I mean like 6 months pregnant and they didnt have a car so he got a shopping basket from the store and pushed her in it so she wouldnt have to walk. It was so sweet. You could do that.  

Answer 18

brace yourself because a baby is not gonna be ALL fun and games.they're cute and everything but they can be annoying too but hey, what are you gonna do about it.anyways, get a job, get your parent's and her parent's support.  be supportive, take the responsibility.

Answer 19

ugh! LOVE ME YOU FOOL!!!!!

Answer 20

WELL you should've thought about the consequences of having s*x at 14. You just need to be there for her emotionally and make sure that she knows you're gonna always be there for her and the baby.

Answer 21

All these people with negative things to say need to remember, if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything! Making negative comments to you isn't going to make anything better or change the fact that you are a teenage father! I have a cousin in my family who had his first child at 14 and she is now a healthy 14 year old herself.

This is a dilemma everywhere in the USA, didn't anyone watch Baby Borrowers the last couple months? I really wish you and your girlfriend did! But like I said there is nothing that can be done now except for the two of you to decide how you are going to make the situation work. Have you thought of adoption? Even maybe someone in the family adopting the child so the both of you can still be a part of its life? If adoption is not an option let me first tell you parenting is the HARDEST job you will ever have. I am 33 (yesterday) and I have a 19 month old and I do it alone with no monetary or physical help from his father and it is very very hard at my age. Plus I have a great paying job and it's still hard! They consume all of your time and energy, but in the same token my son is the best damned thing that ever came into my life.

Depending upon where you guys live there might be more help for you than you think. Many high schools now offer daycare and help like that to make sure you guys finish high school. If your high school does not offer any type of help get online and research other high schools in your area. Any many colleges offer the same so you can get a decent education and make something of yourself to better your child. So I'd definatly check into that unless you already have someone lined up to sit so you guys can still attend high school.

Lemme tell you too that a child is very expensive. From diapers to formula (if she can't breastfeed like I wasn't able to) and all other things. Hopefully someone in her circle will be throwing her a baby shower to get some stuff but www.craigslist.org is a great place to find cheap gently used stuff for the baby.

Are you active in your church? If so your Priest/Pastor could be someone to talk to to help gain strength to make it thru this. Even a school counselor! But do not think of doing anything stupid to yourself. How would that baby feel when it gets older knowing his/her father killed or hurt himself because he/she was born!

Good luck to the both of you and do not take all the negative comments to heart. They are just ignorant people making ignorant comments to get a couple points here on Answers. Do the best you can and keep your head up. There are going to be horrible days, but then that smile your child will throw you will make everything better!  

Answer 22

Why do not u tell them when there most happy or tell people arund befor you tell your parents

Answer 23

killing your self would probably be the worst thing to do. Be there for her,get her foods that she is craving, reassure her that everything is going to be alright.You guys will make it through this,and make sure she is going to the doctors alot for check ups.

Answer 24

just be there for her. its hard for any girl to be pregnant and it will especially be hard for a 14 year old. but if you are with her and she says her back hurts, rub it for her. if her feet hurt, rub them for her. do as much as you can for her. she needs to be taken care of and she needs to rest as much as possible.

it's completely understandable that you are scared. try not too be. this is something that has to happen and believe it or not, the world will keep turning after this is all over with. it's not going to be easy for either one of you. but you sound like you have a level head about the situation and are willing to step up to the plate. good for you! good luck!

Answer 25

Do nice things for her, just bring her favorite flavor of ice cream or cake.    Tell her how beautiful she is and how you are there to help her.  

Try

http://www.totsites.com/help/pregnancy/m...

http://www.helium.com/items/387916-tips-...

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-share...

Those might help.  Good luck!

Answer 26

first of all when ur about to be a father y on earth would you want to kill yourself? how selfish thinking about leaving your first child without a dad. My first piece of advice would be to GROW UP and be more RESPONSIBLE and stop thinking these stupid suicide thoughts. Second the best thing you can do is just to be there for her every step, hold her hair back when she has morning sickness, rub her feet when shes tired and her whole body is aching. Dont go out with ur mates all the time and leave her alone feeling fat and ugly (as most people do due to hormones) just be there.....

Answer 27

well 2 thing WTF its called a con dom!!!!!!

and your screwed unless your parents know but you cant afford to have a kid cloths food during the day your at school unless your parants know and are taing care of it and its ok but anyway i hope every thing turns out ok

Answer 28

Well, why would you get her pregnant at 14? Now you have to go through telling her parents, your parents, the whole school getting curious, rumors, counselors, and almost the world! I feel bad for you. I'm almost 13, and I can't imagine being pregnant at 14! This is a mess. Oh, you should have waited because all the things I stated about what you gotta go through, well if you waited til you were like 25, you'd have a MUCH easier time.

but, i guess I could help you:

.tell her everything'll be okay

.give her often massages

.help her tell her parents

.give her LOTS of food (lol)

.Help her carry books at school

.love her more than anything

hope it helps!

**Mi♥a**

Answer 29

How old are you, are you old enough to get a job? At 14 you can get hired at fast food restaurants so if you are at least 14 go and start applying. Babies are very expensive so anything you guys can save will be helpful. Also head to garage sales for baby clothes since they grow out of them so fast and search for other baby furniture. Just be there for her if she needs to talk and also be open and honest with her, she isn't the only one that needs comforting, you do also. If she is complaining that her feet hurt, then give her a foot rub. Tell her she is beautiful often, since she wont feel that way.

Just remember that it is going to be hard but just because you both are young it does not mean that you cannot be good parents. Take it one day at a time. Do you have people that you guys can depend on? parents, siblings, anyone that will be able to help you both during this time? If so, don't be afraid to talk to them also about your concerns.

Good luck!

Answer 30

okay if u two havent told your prents yet then get married and tell your rents you have been married for 3 months? then tell them she's pregnant. and you shouldnt have s*x at 14! and buy her roses and chocolates and little stuff like that. tell her you love her and your sorry and that you'll help take care of the baby. suggest cute baby names and dream about the baby together, massage her back anneck and shoulders and stuff that will help alot.

Answer 31

Killing yourself will not help your girlfriend or the baby.  You are young but try to be a good role model for that child.  You are scared imagine how your girlfriend is feeling.  Talk to her and let her know if she needs anything to let you know.