Scared to have another baby because first was "perfect"?

Question

my pregnancy was great, my birth was ok ( 40 hours but not horrible ) and my son was healthy and happy 8 lbs 20 inch..all nurses said he was the most well behaved they have ever met, he didnt even cry when getting circumsized...he is now 11 weeks, 15lbs 25 inches, sleeps perfectly, eats great, never been sick, loves baths, smiles, is great in all ways... im so afraid to have another because my expectaions will be based on my perfect son. is this bad?

Answer 1

I think every answer you got (except for one) is excellent!  I'll add that I felt this same way right up until the day before I birthed the 2nd child - and then was astounded and overcome by how much enormous love I felt for the 2nd, and how he engulfed my world happily.  By the way, I'm sure some parents with 1 or 2 year olds may have stifled laughter while reading about how perfect your baby is - as they get older, they'll come up with some sudden surprises for you - I know I've pretty much always thought my child was perfect, and my mom sure scoffed at me when I told her he was having tantrums for the 1st time at 3!  (it wasn't terrible 2's for us, he did this at 3).  It's important for your son to get unconditional love from you, no matter how he acts, and trust, you will be just as into your next child when you have him/her. You know, what makes your baby perfect to you is that you're in love with him, and hopefully your idea of what is perfect will adjust to whatever stage he is in.   Having kids is amazing, and the first rule of motherhood is to let go of what is "perfect" or "bad" and enjoy them as they are!

Answer 2

I worry about the same thing. My son is sooo good. He NEVER cries except for when he is hungry and that is usually only for a second. My Mom tells me that I was a very good baby too (so he must take after me) My husband was a horrible baby. He had colic and cried constantly. My in-laws said he was never happy. I am scared half to death to ever have another child because I was so blessed with this one. I guess you can just hope for the best but I don't think I want to take my chances!! Of course even if your next baby is more difficult you will still love him/her just as much!

Answer 3

You know, every child is "Perfect" in their own way.  Don't judge l child with another, each child is unique and special in their own way.  My first pregnancy was great, my birth was outstanding , i was only in the hospital a total of 8 hours !  My second pregnancy was totally different, I gained a LOT of weight, 3 ultra sounds said it was a boy, it was a girl, labor was different, first labor was back labor, 2nd was all over labor.  First child wasn't into breastfeeding, second one was.  First was content on playing by herself and not into anything, second demanded attention and was into everything,  As they have now grown up to be 24 and l7, they have reversed roles, with the first one being demanding and the second one more reserved!  But I love them both and wouldn't have changed anything or any of it!  Remember that each and every child in this world is different and unique, don't judge l by the other.  You'll totally fall in love with another child when and if you decide to have one!  Good Luck!

Answer 4

No it isn't bad, it's perfectly normal When I was pregnant with my second child, my biggest fear was "how can I possibly love someone as much a my son all over again? Will I have to split that love in 2?". But you know what? I did. And it shocked the holy h**l out of me that I could love someone as much again. And now a third time! If you have another child you will love him or her just as much and he/she will be as perfect as it will be a baby you created, carried and brought into this world. Congratulations on your son.

Answer 5

well ur son is sooo young still..so u have time to still decide.

but i do have a friend or 2 that have decided not to have more kids because of the same reason.and one of them is pregnant now,let me just say shes not too happy right now,not because shes preg..but because she feels sick all the time. but all pregnancy's are different so who knows u might get lucky and have another great one,but i do know that once ur son gets older ur going to miss all the cute things he did when he was a newborn and it will make u want another 1..

Answer 6

I know how you feel.  my first was 'perfect' just like that plus, he's very intelligent (almost 4, does simple math in his head, is starting to read...) and I've been afraid that I would compare my second with my first. but I know that I just have to keep telling myself that 'every baby is different'.  My second son is A LOT more active than my first, so I figure that my first will be the 'brainy' one and my second will be the 'athletic' one, each one special in their own way.  

btw-the 'sleeps perfectly' won't last too much longer, maybe a couple of months at best. enjoy it while you can.

Answer 7

you probably just need to wait longer than 11 weeks....there are no perfect children just as there are no perfect parents....nor should we try to make them perfect.  It's much funner when everything is not perfect and makes life interesting...plus the need for perfectionism will translate to your child....they sense our energy and feed off of it.  just go with the flow, let it be, and dont expect so much.  Our disappointments are in direct proportion to our expectations.

Answer 8

I'm going to say it is normal, because I have a really great baby, am I am kinda scared that my next baby wont be as smiley or healthy ormild tempered, and need more attention.  I love him so much, I am even scared that then next baby wont be as cute!