Scared to let people be a part of my life?

Question

at work I was VERY burned at a previous job when a friendship went sour.

and now I work with a group that does everything together I am just scared to get close with people at work I dont mean to be a stick in the mud but I am really scared and due to my past experience how can I move past that????

It is at a school and it is for the moral of staff/ students this is thier last step to getting an education it is a charter school.

I do not wich to be negetive or bring down moral but how can I move past the past??? I am afriad my making $ is more important to me. Then who is one my side.

Answer 1

From what you describe, these new co-workers have a special "mission" and that is getting along with each other, and helping students.

Making money is important, when you need to pay bills...

But years of experience has taught me, more important than that,

are the relationships I have with my fellow workers.

There's no back-stabbing, tongue-lashing, or fear of what someone else might do to me.  I find that type of atmosphere so much better than having a better paycheck in a worse environment.  If you ask me, my peace of mind is "priceless."   I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

Maybe let God be your guide. So you can relax.

Don't gossip about others, whatever you do.

And smile as much as you can, and do your job.

You will find you have a lot to give others...

and your boss will respect you.

GOOD LUCK.  GOD BLESS.

Answer 2

Hi Justice,

It would help a little to know exactly how you were hurt in the last relationship.

Do you have to do absolutely everything with your coworkers, or could you decide to do just certain things?  Perhaps you could make an excuse about your outside commitments, or desire to eat lunch alone to clear your mind, and do other things with them instead.

Maybe they will be happy with you just attending social events without talking much, as long as you smile a lot and are nice.  You could try keeping the conversation focussed on the person you're talking to.  

It looks like you may not be a native English speaker.  Perhaps this could work in your favor too - another excuse for not talking much.

Try thinking ahead of time about what you will tell them about your life, in order to avoid revealing any information you don't wish to.  

If you do really care more about the money, then maybe it isn't the job for you after all and you may have to find a better fit somewhere else.  On the other hand, you may end up meeting someone there that you trust more than the last person.  Try to pay attention to your feelings as they come up while you're talking to each person, and don't make any sudden moves, but think things over at the end of the day.

Good luck :-)