Scary Guy at My New High School? [reposting my question with added details]

Question

EDIT: I’ve already posted this exact question, but I’d like more answers, and I added an important detail near the bottom that I forgot. I realize that I could have simply added the detail to my old question, but I wanted it to be new so that it would show up higher on the questions list. Please, if you could, read the whole thing. Thankyou--

Okay, so, I'm going to start off with my story (to explain to you the situation at hand). It’s really long, but I am in search of desperate help.

Now, I was walking around my neighborhood. Its close to Queen Street, lots of cute little stores. Very fun to walk around. Anyways, I decided to walk to my high school, where I'll be going come September, just to get the nerves out of the way and make myself comfortable with the atmosphere. So I walked there, and everything was fine, and I sat on the steps of the school. So this tall, black (yes, I know, race doesn’t matter- but its part of the story) man wearing a mesh outfit comes up to me and sits down next to me.

Now, I could have been freaking out, but I decided he was probably just friendly, and I couldn’t very well say "Oh..I have to go! ..NOW!" and run off. So he started talking to me, just casual conversation. "So, you go to this school, right?" "Nah, next year." Stuff like that. So, I'm thinking, he's probably just a nice, poor man. (His clothes looked very tattered; I didn’t actually notice they were mesh until he brought it up).

So, he asks what I want to be when I grow up. And I said maybe a lawyer, and I would try writing or fashion designing on the side. And he was all like 'Really?! I design clothes too!' So, when he said that, I was thinking Oh cool, he probably owns a shop on Queen Street, and just dresses that way for like, painting or something. But then he informed me that he wants to design a line of mesh suits for weddings, because "It gets really hot in the summer, you know? So the air just blows through!" And that kind of freaked me out. Like, the fact that he thought mesh wedding suits were okay...

And theeennnn, he dropped the majorly traumatizing statement.

"You know, you could be a model too." Hoolyyy c**p, that freaked me out so much, that I just made an excuse about the time and walked really fast away. I got scared he might see which way I live, so I spent 10mins walking around a nearby tiny mall (It’s not a plaza, but its not really great enough to be called a mall...)

Now, keep in mind: He knew I was just going into high school next year. Meaning, he knew I was probably 13-14 (I'm thirteen).

And a statement like that, coming from a man in his late twenties to early thirties, that’s just incredibly traumatizing to a young girl!

So, he also told me while we were talking that he lives above the pizza pizza across the street from my high school (he pointed at it).

Yeah, he's going to be right there, every day, for the next four years.... :S

And I asked my best friend if I had a reason to be scared, and she said that I would probably be freaked out just because it’s a frightening situation, but it’s a giant school, and that I'd probably never see him again.

So, I calmed down after that. Until...

I saw him at the tiny mall when I was with my mom buying hangers for my closet! Thank God, he didn’t see me. But I finally broke down and told my mom, and she said not to talk to strangers anymore and if he tries to talk to me again, to tell him that I told my dad and he said not to talk to him. (Said in a rather bxtchy way, to make him back off)

But I'm still totally worried. It’s not like I can just ask my guy friends to walk me home, or like, make sure he leaves me alone. I'm going to a school where NONE of my friends are, let alone the guys. :(

And the black part-- First off, I want to say that I'm not racist. I'll defend anyone who is being attacked due to prejudices of the attacker. Buutt... I think the situation messed with my mind. Whenever I see a black man, around that age, I freak out and get this nervous feeling in my throat. I don’t know what to do; I'm not going to go ask my parents for therapy or something. But I think some psychology thing happened, you know? I don’t want to be afraid of all black men; I don’t want this to stick with my forever.

What should I do about that?

Also, what about the whole situation? I'm still frightened of seeing him again.

I don’t know what to do, and this has been troubling me for weeks. :(

AND (this is the added detail) – He asked me where I lived… :S

That’s beyond creepy, and an inappropriate thing to ask. So I kind of made something up, said I lived near this park, which I do, but my house isn’t actually that close to the park. So then he brought it up again “Do you live right near it, or on the upper side of the park?” I didn’t even think of how creepy it was until now, I’d forgotten he’d asked about where I live… Anyways, so I avoided it again, saying that I didn’t know because I’m not good with streets (which is true, I don’t even know what intersection is closest to my house)

But that’s pretty scary, now that I think about it, to show you all how horrifying this event was.

Please, I appreciate whoever read this whole question, I know it was long.

Thankyou to all who answer,

x Caroline

Answer 1

Hi there Caroline,

Firstly I would like to say how sorry I am that this has distressed you so much, It is obviously preying on your mind and making you have bad feelings.

Girls should be allowed to sit on school steps whenever they like, it is inappropriate that they should be approached by a lone male.

I am an ex Police Officer and I think you should show my reply to your Mum.

I think for your peace of mind you should visit your local Police Station and have a chat with a Police Officer regarding this incident, with your Mum.

There may have been instances previously where similar things have happened, i.e. other young girls having been approached by this man, or they may already know of him.

I don't say this to cause you any more undue fear, but I do think it will maybe put your mind at ease to talk to a Police Officer about it.

Though it may turn out to be innocent I think they should be aware.

This is not something you can carry around in your head as it is becoming more and more on your mind as time goes by, I worry that this could leave you with fears you need not have.

At your age, and I am not wanting to sound patronising ,your school-days should be carefree and fun, not having to look over your shoulder all the time.

I hope you take this advice, it is well meant, and I hope the situation resolves itself.

Take care and my best wishes

Julie  

Answer 2

Yeah things like that are definitely creepy.  And I don't think you're racist for feeling that way.  Something similar to that happened to me, but it wasn't as creepy.  I'm 20 and there was an older (50's maybe) guy in a college class of mine who would always try to talk to me in class but he was very creepy.  When I moved in the middle of May I kept running into him on the bus and at the library, stuff like that.  I got really creeped out that he might be following me so I got nervous whenever I saw anyone who had a similar build and complexion as him.

It can be really scary to think someone might be trying to follow you or harass you.  I don't blame you for being scared, but you should be careful in the future.  Even now that I'm older and living in a major metropolitan area I don't talk to people I don't know on the street.  If I meet someone in a safe area, say in the student union on my college campus, I may speak with them.  But you should be wary of most people especially if you're by yourself.  Sure most people aren't a threat, but it's better to be cautious.

I ran into the creepy guy from my class a 3rd time and he tried to talk to me and I totally blew him off, got up and walked away.  That's all you should do if you run into this guy again.  Don't run, just glare at him and walk somewhere safe.  Don't worry about it too much or it'll consume you.  

Answer 3

Why in the world are you talking to strangers?  Didn't your parents teach you that?

Answer 4

get a digital camera and when he walk infront of you again take the camera out and take pictures of him let him know that u have his pictures and then let ur parents know about this person. first he would be scare that police would catch him if something happen to you. second if something DOES happen we have pictures of this guy to track him down with.  now you need a maze spray or pepper spray or some kind in ur purse because u fell right in the age bracket of the most missing teens in the US right now.  maybe a tazer would be a good idea too cause u can still defend urself even if the wind is blowing the opposite direction.

Answer 5

geez girl there are freakin weirdos everywhere, this is nothing new.

it is tough to be young and naive and not know how to just walk away or to tell some ****** to leave you alone, but i highly recommend that you learn how to do this.

i do not see any correlation between this jerk and you now getting freaked out when you see a black guy, that is just way too far out there.

this guy did not touch you threaten you in any way correct ? he didn't even follow you.

so some weird crazy kiddy lover talked to you for a few minutes and asks you some questions which you answered ( lord knows why)

and know you are all freaked out and fearing black men ?

get over yourself honey, take the normal precautions to keep yourself safe and if you see this dude again just walk the other way.

you must live in a super small town cuz this and way worse is and everyday occurrence where i grew up and i never freaked like this.

Answer 6

oh my gosh!! well is there another way you can walk to school?

he sounds a real creep, but ive met men like that before and they havent tried anything else like stalking or whatever. if i was you id have a phone with me at all times if you think he may be following you, or a pepper spray if you feel really worried , if it was me id just dye my hair- ino its a bit drastic but i do it anyway and he might not recognise you...

im sure youl be fine, maybe walk to school with your friends when you start. im glad you didnt tell him where u live...that could have been a problem. sorry if my answer makes you panic more. listen to your mum and try not to worry about it. if he bothers you again tell him you have bee advised to phone the police if he hassles you- then im sure hel back right off!

i hope you dont see him again!!

Answer 7

Aw my dear Caroline. Well I don't really think you have anything to really worry about. He might have just been friendly...but you should really be careful from now on, don't talk to people you get a bad vibe from(which includes people your own age). I hope this calms you down..and if you feel you are too afraid to step out of your house, then i would talk to your parents(mom or dad) and get some professional help. Best of luck!

Answer 8

hi sweet, stay away from this bloke he sounds like a perv to me, when you start this school make sure you walk to and from with your mates....if he keeps harrasing you tell your mum,taecher or the coppers but dont let on anything about yourself to this bloke...stay safe hun..have a great time in high school